Crying Time Length

I do it based on the cry. Those cry’s that are the big ones that sounds like something is wrong… we go in within a minute or 2 to help him calm. The ones we know are because he is tired but is fighting the nap we wait 5-10 minutes and just go in to give binky and walk right back out.

It's difficult isn't it. Mines going through a stage atm where he will cry if I put him down during the day so I have to let him cry to go toilet, prepare a snack etc so only a couple of mins max. I can't let him cry any longer, it breaks my heart 💔 mine is only 5 weeks though so still very young

It depends on how old. A newborn I never let cry. But once older I will generally wait about 5 minutes to see if baby will settle on their own. Unless it’s a screaming, panicking cry, then always check because something might be really wrong.

It's not okay to let baby cry , they are afraid of everything, and everything is so overwhelming to them , they don't have concept of time so 1 minute is like an hour and studies have shown that they get extremely anxious and stressed and cortisol peaks when left alone , they will stop crying if they lost hope that the parent is coming, and start numbing themselves, babies who numb themselves have less brain activity. It's not about what people say , it's scientifically proven. You should also read more about the attachment theory, I don't let my baby cry not even for a minute, I am always with her , I use a baby carrier sometimes, we cosleep and when I need to prepare something she is either in her chair right infront of me or I am wearing her ,or she is in my arms and I am doing things with one hand , I know it's hard but my baby is so smart so healthy, she doesn't even throw up after feeding, and I see how happy she is.

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/32155677/ Occasional parental use of 'cry it out' technique at term and more often by 3 months was not associated with attachment or behaviour problems at 18mo. UK 2020 study of 178 babies. The evidence for immediate response to crying came from much smaller studies in the 70s and 80s for shorter follow ups. Sometimes you need to get stuff done and putting baby down is the only option (eg getting a shower or stuck on a car journey!) If they are fed and not in pain I doubt leaving them for short periods does any lasting harm, especially the older they get and more they are learning they are separate from mum.

@Sophie I agree. My little one is 4.5 months and it honestly depends on the cry and if their needs are met. If all needs are met and they're still crying and likely fighting sleep we do a 5 minute timer. I will also say this works for our family and little one. This may or may not work for you. Remember it is your little one do what you want to do. As helpful as people may seem telling you lots of different things, it really isn't helpful in my experience. You have to figure out what you want to do and are okay with. Good luck Momma!

@Jihene k As I mentioned this works for us. This doesn't have to be what everyone does. Also, we have already comforted the baby and met all needs and no timers were set previously. While I realize some people find chatgpt helpful, in my experience it can give you whatever answer you are looking for. I also found it will quote research that doesn't exist so, I like to do my own homework/research too. Below is one article and there are many more. Best of luck to you! https://www.wdtn.com/as-seen-on-2-news/experts-warn-against-chat-gpt-hallucinating-false-information/#:~:text=%E2%80%9CChatGPT%20may%20generate%20incorrect%20information,and%20not%20for%20complex%20tasks. We use the Ferber method not cry it out. https://www.whattoexpect.com/first-year/crying-it-out.aspx We started with 3 minutes and check ins and now are at 5 minutes. https://www.sleepfoundation.org/baby-sleep/ferber-method

@Jihene k agree with @Breanna what each mum does is what works for her and you have no right to be telling people what to do, especially when it is not factual.

@Jihene k From my research, attachment theory does not say this. Yes, you can find any research article to prove your point. However, when multiple high quality research teams find otherwise it is hard to argue against the evidence. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3422632/ At the same time like I said before you are the momma and can do what you want for your baby and you. Please stop bullying other mothers. It is not nice or respectful. From my viewpoint you can provide your experience in a nicer way and not make other moms feel bad.

@Charlotte It breaks my heart too listening to them cry for any amount of time.

@Jihene k i agree will its wrong to let your baby cry it out... it can cause problems down the line ... i try not to do that to my baby girl.... we will lay with her to get her to go to sleep then we leave the room then if she starts crying we go back in and lay with her again ... and it seams to work ... and she has he bed full of stuff animals to cuddle which helps a lot .... if i can i wont ever let her cry it out ... bc it can cause problems in the future ...the cry it out dosent work for my baby... she has seperation problems from me and dosent like being alone if she wake ...