Am I being over the top?

So my partner was amazing when my baby was born (he is 5 months old) for the first few weeks I couldn’t sing his praises enough! I had a hard labour followed by c section and he really was a life saver! Helped me through recovery and baby blues you name it. Fast forward to now and honestly he is completely different. Baby hasn’t slept more then 2 hours since he was 3 months (pray for me) and this week I caught a horrendous sickness bug which lasted 48 hours of non stop being sick and to put it frank it was shit. My LO has now got a really bad cold and it’s the first one so my anxiety has been all over the place. I also start my new job this week for the first time since LO was. Born. My partner has been out every weekend in April so far. Including this weekend where I just sat there exhausted with a sick me and baby and he still looked at me and walked out the door and didn’t come back till 1am. He physically left whilst I was sat on the bed sobbing from being so drained. We have had so many conversations about how I feel and even how he feels because I get it is an ajustment for both of us. He doesn’t change the nappies, doesn’t help get baby down for bed. Baby is EBF and he does work full time so I do the night time regardless that’s fine but doesn’t even offer to rock bubs on a bad night or anything. He gets angry at me when I tell him to stop snoring because it wakes me and baby and he just all round calls me lazy because sometimes I don’t get a chance to do a dinner or food shop. I just don’t know if I am being dramatic but even tonight I literally said “I feel really low and down, I’m not healing properly and haven’t slept for 3 months” and he full on ignored me (I repeated myself to make sure he defiantly heard me) I have tried talking Tried being better at doing the task a SAHM should do But I am beyond exhausted. I am so physically and mentally done I can’t see how he doesn’t understand.

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Hey! You’re not being over the top. Sounds like he’s not being very sensitive to what you need. It’s OK for you to put your foot down. There’s nothing wrong with you. You’re an amazing mom. You’re doing your best.

God bless you. My little one doesn’t sleep well either and it really takes it toll. I’ve just summarised your situation to my husband and he’s really angry for you. This is not how a partnership should be. You’re supposed to be his best friend and your baby his main priority. A few weeks ago my husband was going out with his best mate (they share a birthday) and I was having such a bad time. They both stayed in instead of going out, sent me for a bath and a nap. I felt awful but my husband reassured me I needed the support and it was his job to do that. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I’d leave him. You’re doing everything on your own anyway

You’re not being dramatic at all! Being a stay at home mum is a full time job in itself. That’s without all the housework/shopping/dinners expected ontop of that. You sound like you’re doing amazingly well with your little one. Your partner needs to do a day in your shoes, he’ll soon change his mind! Would he be able to look after little one full time and do housework etc? No, probably not. I would stop doing everything for him and let him do it himself and just focus on you and bub. He’s a grown ass man that should be helping you whether he works full time or not. You sound like an amazing mum, your partner needs to have a serious check of his priorities. I hope you get some sleep soon! X

@Satori @Rebecca @Kirsty thank you all so much for making me feel valid. It’s been a really hard few months with no sleep and I’m really only barely surviving because of it. I am going to try one last chat and see how it goes and then weigh up my options. I am gutted because I really thought he would of been like he was in those first few weeks but I guess not. Not sure what the switch up is but it’s infuriating. Thank you girls you have all had such nice responses and really put some things into perspective x x x

No I’m sorry but you saying you’ve tried being better at doing the tasks of a SAHM is ridiculous. Your job as a SAHM is to look after your baby. Your job isn’t to cook and clean. While he is in work, your job is baby. When he is home it is BOTH of your jobs to look after baby and share household tasks, equally! He doesn’t have a clue what’s involved with being a SAHM. The fact he’s out every single weekend is disgusting. Yes he may be struggling to adapt but mums have to figure it out, so should dads. I’d be putting some pretty harsh ultimatums out there. If you think you’re exhausted now, wait until you hit 12 months and have a bad sleeper. He either needs to support you and step up, or he can go and live the single life being out every weekend. Next weekend I would book a solo spa day and leave baby with him, don’t give him the choice and don’t ask.

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