Finally letting your hair down !

My baby is 5 months old and I’m 22 my brother just told me this the time i need to be going out and having fun … i just feel like i need to be here with my baby and be a mother ….. i feel like he don’t understand… is he right?

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No he's not right your baby is Soo young and you can't get that time back stay in with your baby and have all the cuddles I haven't gone out once since having my baby and I don't feel like I'm missing out on anything

Honestly, I wasn’t ready to get out more till my son was at least 1 1-2, and that was more of getting together with other moms at parks and stuff that are child friendly. Only another mom would get this lol

Absolutely not. Yes if you were 22 without a child. You’re absolutely right this is your role now. Of course try and find a balance and have some time to yourself and meet with friends

You can still go out and have fun… just in moderation

If you’re wanting to go out and have fun then do it, if you feel comfortable enough to do so
If not, that’s okay too!

I’m 22 and me and my partner had a date night on Friday (little girl is 7 weeks old) we went out just after her feed, and was back before her next feed and her grandparents watched her in our home and we had 2 beers while out. It was lovely and a year ago that would have usually led to us going out and partying but we just wanted to go home to our baby.

I’d say for that subject don’t listen to anyone’s opinion of what fun you should be having.
As a young(ish) mum myself with an almost 2yo it’s way more fun for me to play games with my son or go to soft play or the park or a play date rather than go out partying with “friends” that are still on that party every weekend lifestyle.
As a mum I definitely value other things way more. Even after almost two years fully dedicated to my child I don’t miss going out so definitely take your time and do what feels right for you x

The only person that knows is you. You know what feels right for you and no one else should be telling you how to live your life!
My mum at 22 was married with 2 kids already. It used to be very normal. It's what some people want, and not what others want, that doesn't make it right or wrong though.

I’m a mum and I still go out, have fun, go out w friends, brunches and lunches and dinners, hobbies out. You don’t have to go out every single day of the weekend, every week, and you don’t have to be a mum 24/7 either. I love the balance that I have right now, we both have a hobby night and a friend catch-up every week, each. That’s 2 days a week we both get out, if we wanted. The hobby is locked in though- that has a scheduled time and place. My “going out” is my hobby, my salsa/bachata/Reggaeton dancing every Friday, so I get my break, my exercise, and my socialising in the one night. Keeps me fit also. And I love dancing. And then yeah the friend catch-up which is usually dinner and drinks. As a sahm that spends 10-12hrs every day w a baby I need a couple hrs to myself at the end of every week, keeps me sane. So it’s totally ok to take one night off mothering each week IF you wanted to.

Is he saying that because he sees you stressed and unhappy? It’s still possible to care for your babies and have fun. Obviously the care and safety of your child comes first, and you can also wait until you feel more comfortable.

I just take my baby with me and if the people I make plans with complain then I don't hang out with them.

in our community

Is this clever or cruel?

My husband and i were talking and with social media and the internet in general being a terrifying dumpster fire, we are trying to figure out the best way to keep our son safe while still teaching him how to safely be online and moderation.

We landed on the idea of giving him the 90's kid treatment. A computer in the living room for us to keep an eye on what hes doing online, and once we feel hes mature enough to hang with friends without adult supervision he gets a flip phone. When we feel he is responsible enough and he earns and saves up the money for the physical phone, case, and screen cover, then we will be happy to take him to get a smart phone.

I thought this was air tight, but now my brother says its cruel to give a kid a flip phone, and besides he can just use his friends phones at school.

My husband and i remember a time before the internet, and we remember having complete access to something no one understood yet. We saw unspeakable things and are always battling with the urge to put the phone and social media down. I dont want that for my son, especially with his brain so vulnerable still.

If your partners parent passes away

And you and that parent didn't get along are you still go to the funeral?

Not my situation!

Partner no longer wants baby #2

Before our son was born we originally both wanted minimum 2 kids but we were hoping for 3-4. My partner found the birth traumatic to watch and also struggled a lot with the newborn/baby stage. He no longer wants to have any more children and it’s completely breaking my heart. I need another baby. We’ve spoken about it a lot and the options. He said he wasn’t COMPLETELY closed off to it so I asked him to try and work through his feelings and reconsider his decision. He eventually said he definitely doesn’t want another. I know that I will always want one and my feelings will never change. Do we have to break up or does anyone know anything else I can do to help change his mind? Has anyone else’s partner said this and then changed their mind? I don’t want to break up because I adore him and our life together and I’d hate to split up our family for “selfish” reasons and make my son miss out on having both of us together but I just don’t know what to do

Nursery funding

My child turned 9 months last week. I applied for government funded hours nearly 2 months ago and so well within the required timeframe for the April term, however upon receiving my first invoice without the funding applied and having questioned this, I have now been informed that the stretched funding doesn’t start until 4th May.

Has anyone else been told it won’t start until May?

The government site states it should start from April 1st, and so I intentionally set my nursery start and return to work as the start of April for that reason, knowing that I wouldn’t be able to afford the nursery on my sole income without the funding

Jealous of my husband

I’m so jealous of him and it’s making me resentful. We have a ten week old and I’m jealous that he is at work all day. I’m jealous he can leave for lunch and actually eat an uninterrupted lunch. Take a phone call uninterrupted. Chat with a friend he runs in to uninterrupted. Even go to the bathroom when he wants uninterrupted. He comes home from work when he wants. He’s not on a set schedule. Some days are late some are early. It depends on when he’s done. I’m jealous he can come home at 10pm and shower, eat and go right to bed uninterrupted because I already have the baby asleep. He doesn’t have to worry about anything house wise or baby wise because I’ve done it all. Meanwhile I’m covered in puke and crap and smell like rotten milk. When he is home he is VERY active and helpful. So it’s not that. I’m just jealous his world hasn’t changed and mine has I guess. This isn’t something he’s doing wrong so I’m not sure how to get past this. I wish I could keep him home all day because that’s how helpful he is, but I understand he obv needs to work.

Calpol

My mum has just given my 4 year old calpol because he asked for it. He isn’t poorly (although was last week, been fine this week) he just likes the taste of it. My mum didn’t check, didn’t ask, just gave it to him and when I’ve questioned her she said “he asked for it”. Then quizzed 4 year old who said he asked for it because it tastes nice.

How would you react?