Establishing boundaries with family. Am I wrong ?

I’m 35 weeks and talking to my husbands about what life will look like when we bring our baby girl home. I made it very clear that immediate family only will be able to see the baby for the first week as I’d like to bond with my baby and get acclimated at home. I also spoke with him about setting time limits for family that does come over after the first week and making sure there aren’t tons of people over at once as I, myself am going to be recovering. I also mentioned to him before that people must wash their hands and no kissing. My husband comes from a very large Hispanic family and I am white and have very little family. We are having a difficult time agreeing on these boundaries. He does not want to express to family any of these boundaries as he thinks it’ll come off rude and people will be offended. I explained to him that this literally could be life or death for our little girl and I have no problem telling his family what are expectations will be. Am I wrong ?

Show your support

You’re right !

I’m Hispanic too and I didn’t even had to tell my family nor his family all those things, themselves did all those without even asking and my family it’s really big too. And even if I had to say something I don’t see it as rude you are just taking care of your baby.

I’m black and no kissing and washing hands is an unwritten rule that people already know and I’m almost certain Hispanics are similar. As for visiting he’s definitely going to have to make that very clear. I also know his family will likely be your best support system forever, so try and use your words wisely. Congrats

You’re not wrong. You tell them the boundaries.

If people think it’s rude, that’s not your problem tbh 🤷🏾‍♀️ you’re setting boundaries to keep your baby safe. People who respect you will respect that imo

I’m Hispanic and my family wore mask and medical grade cover ups when he was a month old! For visits and I only allowed 1 person at a time, (Covid pregnancy ). But even then my family would never kiss my child especially without me saying if it was ok or not which it’s not. I think you’re totally right. Do what’s best for you and your baby!

I had the same conversation with my partner I have no family unfortunately just myself but he has a large jamican family and he was happy to express to them how I was feeling and there all cool with it if he won't do it I say u do it xxx

@Kassy sounds bt like us with our first, my mum wouldn't even hold him, she was convinced she would have covid unknowingly.

🫣and you are just talking for a week! He is not able to support it for a single week? Absolutely agree with you, but in my case will be for a longer period. I am 35 too and I think I need 2 months before welcoming nobody. I am Spanish, he is English, and the problem here is his part too. But this is once again cultural because they (men) are not able to manage conversations even with their people. Sad but stay strong. When you feel uncomfortable is your body talking, and cancel plans with zero problem

I wouldn’t have anyone around for the first few weeks! If he’s not willing to support your decision then tell him you don’t want anyone around until you are ready.

one tip is to babywear when anyone comes to visit! it helps you give time to communicate your rules to visitors before they just start reaching for the baby. 😊 welcome them, ask them to wash their hands and then explain your expectations. I also second another comment above though that you need to remember many of these visitors will be your main support system so remember to choose your words wisely and don’t overreact if someone does something to piss you off! emotions/hormones are wild after giving birth haha

Girl you ain’t wrong you have the rights too

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