@courtney More often than I would care to admit to. It’s like he waits till I have an issue to bring up his issues.
Honestly, my ex did this to me and it was an abusive relationship. Not saying yours is but id really think about your relationship and see if there is any red flags that you'd been ignoring or didn't realize. You can message me if you want to, to talk about possible red flags in your relationship. No judgement and everything would be kept between us.
Either he’s doing it unintentionally meaning you bringing up an issue allows him a way to bring up issues—ie he doesn’t know how to effectively communicate OR he’s doing it intentionally to downplay your issues/make it about him. The only way to tell is to keep communication open and see how he reacts.
Wow you articulate your emotions so well I took in some own self reflections throughout reading. Wish I was this sound inside my head with deciphering how I feel. I hope you guys can overcome this disconnect ♥️ for your sake.♥️ You deserve your partner’s attention and shouldn’t feel obligated to fight for it or sleep with them to receive it. Just because he accepts feeling unimportant and doesn’t speak on it doesn’t mean you should accept it as your norm too. You sound like you’ve met yourself deeply and being more emotionally advanced… he unfortunately has to play catch up by doing some inner work tons of humans (cough especially men cough) shy away from
My husband does the same thing and it's frustrating and annoying he always says he doesn't bring up anything because it's not important then when I ask why he brought it up after I brought up a issue he gets upset
Makes sense if he hasn't really been validated in his life (from his past and childhood) then he might not really know how to validate others. Not sure if that is what he was trying to communicate or is a fit for the situation. If it is, definitely a skill that can be learned. Sorry you're feeling bad about it. You shouldn't ever be made to feel guilty for not being in the mood.
If its not a trick (and due to his first response I think it is not), then the problem is that you asked a person who apparently has never experienced making up for ignoring, to come up to an idea of how to do it for someone. An impossible task. Maybe next time you can think about it together or just choose something simple, like „let’s try again from the start“ or a long hug.
Does he often do this? Is it out of character for him? Are you open to more communication about it?