I feel like I missed my opportunity to explore my sexuality

I am now married with a 6 week old. I love my husband to bits, I really do. He is a walking sculpture in my eyes and overall is just amazing and delicious… but I also like women. I always knew I did but rejected it mostly due to religious values. My husband himself is bisexual and that’s something he had the chance to explore and we have discussed it. But because I met him so young, i never really got the chance to explore other women. Now I just do so through porn, but my husband and I invited a friend of his into our relationship for a brief period. I loved every bit of it EXCEPT sharing him. But it was so great to have a girl to talk with and be friends with, but also have that flirty nature or sharing nudes etc. I want that again, but I know my husband would not at all be ok with just me having that type of relationship. I also don’t feel thats fair because he has had that chance in his life, but also he has attempted to meet up with other people since we have been together and I caught him. This is turning into a pointless rant now but I feel like I haven’t been able to say this to anyone without the chance of being judged horribly 😅

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Divorce him and get into more relationships if that’s what you feel like.

That sounds like a tough situation. You now have a child so just breaking up a family is not the best call really think it through and you just said you’re really happy and you love him. You just want to also have a girl with him and talk about your guises options. If it’s something you feel like you can’t live without then maybe separating is the best option but who knows maybe he will be For you doing your exploring like you said he got to do his. It sucks being in that position.

Have you ever actually discussed opening up the marriage? The relationship would need to be solid (adding more people acts like a magnifier to issues). Jealousy can be worked on and it’s usually poly 101 to work on scarcity mindset. Hubs may be finding monogamy hard when he’s bisexual as well. If open to read some books about ethical non monogamy, try Polysecure and The Ethical Slut. You may find even if you don’t want a full blown second relationship that being open to having affectionate or intimate friendships may be what you’re after. Another exercise would be to look up the Relationship Smorgasbord and fill it out hypothetically for what you’d want from another partner. It will take a lot of work to really do it right and not try to jump right in and either cheat like hubs attempted before agreements made or end up head over heels for a new partner while neglecting spouse.

I feel this 100% currently... been just fantasizing a lot latley but it's not something he's ok with it sucks but I wanna so baadddd

I’ve been craving a woman’s touch for so long. Been with my bd for almost 3 yrs and I’m 6 months pregnant and being with a women is all i could think about. Ugh it sucks lol

Have you guys explored being swingers? That way you can still have the open relationship (sexually) and not have to maintain an additional relationship ( like you would if you opt for poly). It can be something you guys do and enjoy together as a couple.

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