Community Posts, Tips & Support on Baby

Honest, unfiltered, and in real-time: what women like you are talking about. Peanut group chats, support, and posts on Baby

Boundaries

What do you do if you have boundaries and your partner has none at all?

I have lots of boundaries/rules with our baby- and with myself postpartum but my husband disagrees with all of them. I’ve tried to be reasonable and meet him half way but he refuses to. And so I feel helpless. For example, if I say no to anybody kissing our baby- but my husband says yes people feel free to do so. And I can’t stop this. We live with his parents so it’s been a nightmare. I can set a boundary with them but then he will say he doesn’t mind so they follow what he wants.

He’ll say as it’s his daughter too he doesn’t need to follow any rules. He can let who he wants hold her, kiss her, leave her with unsupervised etc even if it makes me uncomfortable. I don’t know what to do. I’ve started working part time again so boundaries are more important than ever as I’m not with her 24/7 anymore.

My FIL is particularly disrespectful of my wishes. He changes my baby’s meals even because he doesn’t believe she is getting the right nutrients! ( I have her in a specific plan because of her chronic constipation). And is always invading my privacy. I’m not comfortable with him at all. He touches my daughter with his dirty hands all the time and if I tell him not too, he says his son says it’s fine. Or if I don’t want them holding her, they’ll say their son has given them permission so they will etc it has been a thousand things. I’m wfh but supposed to be returning part time in office but know I don’t have the trust to do so.

Do I have no say? I feel so trapped. My husband has stated repeatedly he doesn’t care about my feelings on it and his parents should be able to do whatever they want with their grandchild. Honestly, I want to leave him but cannot imagine co parenting with him (and his parents) it would be torturous.

Do you shame women who choose to cover when they breastfeed?

I see a lot of comments on social media that make covering your boob when you nurse seem like it's anti woman. Like we are being set back. I don't want my boobs out. That's all. I support you if you get yours out. Heck I'll help your baby latch if you're having a hard time.

2 under Two!! 😳

My April baby just turned one last month, and I just found out I’m pregnant 🤪 It was also right after I decided my relationship wasn’t healthy anymore, well it never really was, but silly me kept hanging on to hope or that he’d “get it” at some point, but I’m so shut down and can’t talk to him about anything without it turning into multiple hours of lecturing, bringing up everything he’s ever been hurt by and throwing jabs at my character. So now I have to decide to either keep the relationship going for the logistical help, while keeping communication limited, or if I should still end it for my mental health and be pregnant with a 1 year old alone. I have no idea how I’ll handle this crazy toddler energy along with a new born by myself! He’s not the worst, I’m just not happy and feel like I can’t be myself or at peace when he’s around. He has several kids with other women (should have been my immediate NO to having kids with him 🙄) but I know if I end the relationship he’ll basically disappear from our kids life too. Ugh 😭

Really struggling

My baby is 3 weeks old and I have not had at least 1 hours uninterrupted sleep in the night, he sleeps in the day but at the most inconvenient times like when I have to pick up my daughter from school, so even then I can’t get a good sleep. I don’t know what it is, he drinks well and has gained weight so I know it’s not the feeding, he is always clean… I’m genuinely struggling and do not know how to get him to sleep more than 1 hour at night. I’m being interrupted every 40 mins and he just wants to be on the breast, not even drinking just staying there 😅 … my first was sooo easy, she was sleeping a good stretch at 1 months old and I never struggled with her, this is so new to me, any advice is welcome

Rolling over

My son just hit 3 months on Tuesday & he is rolling over from tummy to his back my question is that I swaddle him at night should I stop & put him in a sleep sack with his arms out?

How was your ~ 10month old after circumcision?

THIS IS NOT MEANT TO TRIGGER AN ARGUMENT DO NOT COMMENT IF YOU DON'T LIKE CIRCUMCISION

I'm only asking this because my son is having his circumcision in July, he'll be 10m. The doctor already gave me the instructions for healing, I'm just curious what he might be like after...

Sleep training or not?

To the mam's who haven't sleep trained at all, do your LOs go down for a nap without help to fall asleep? Mine is currently 8 months old and will not go down for a nap unless she's basically rocked to sleep with a bottle.
Do they eventually learn to do it themselves or do I have to sleep train her?
I don't really like any of the methods but I'm worrying about how hard work she is to get down for a nap when she's starting nursery/daycare soon😭

What am I doing wrong

Has anyone else experienced this around 5 weeks postpartum? My husband just went back to work and works 7 days a week, and ever since then my baby has been taking it really hard. Before he went back, she was such a content and happy baby she’d really only cry if she was hungry or needed changed. Now she cries constantly for what seems like no reason, and sometimes gets so worked up she screams and holds her breath.

The part that’s getting to me emotionally is that she calms down when her dad gets home and she’s also usually fine when we’re around friends or other people. But when it’s just me and her, she seems so unsettled and unhappy, and it honestly has me feeling like maybe she just doesn’t like being with me. I know that probably sounds irrational, but postpartum emotions are heavy and I’m struggling with it.

Did anyone else go through something similar? Is this just a phase/developmental leap or separation/change in routine?

Sleeping advice

Little one wont settle at all in a next to me or a Moses basket any advice please?

Worried if I co sleep he will get so used to it, still have a 3 year old who wakes in the night and wants to get in my bed!

Breast growth and Milk supply

I am 27 weeks pregnant and my breasts haven't grown hardly at all , this is slightly worrying me as it was the same in my last pregnancy and I literally had no milk supply at all !!

No poop in 2 days

My little girl is 2 and half weeks old, she was having poo’s like 4/5 times a day up until about 5 days ago and then it’s slowed down to 1/2 a day and now she’s not had a poo in over 38 hours, we’ve just been to the dr but they say to wait it out abit longer but she’s unsettled and seems in pain, we’ve tried doing the belly massage and bicycle kicks but nothing seems to work, does anyone have any suggestions please. She is currently combi fed with a 50/50 ratio

Where is your LO with communication?

Mine is 7.5 months and is squealing, grunting, and making vowel sounds. Terrified she is behind vocally!

Nappies

Going out of my mind ahah my daughter keeps leaking
Through her nappy basically every time she poos. We pull the frill out, seem to be right size nappies. What am I doing wrong 🙈🙈

Napping often

I’ve noticed my 4m baby has been napping frequently throughout the day, is anyone else’s going through a growth spurt?

Day out on 1 nap

How do people go out with their toddlers on one nap?

It’s my mum in laws 80th and she lives 1hr 30 mins away. I thought we could travel down day before at nap time, travel back day after at nap time but I don’t know how he’ll nap on the party day. (He won’t sleep in pram)

And then I don’t now how he’ll sleep in a strange place at night as he’s only ever slept at home, so potentially looking at 3 crap nap days/nights. When he’s napped in the car in the past he sometimes will only do about 30-45 mins which won’t even get him to bedtime when he’s now used to having 2hrs nap, to allow him to do a 5.5hr window before bed.

If I try and do a 2 nap day so he naps in the car going and then coming back on the same day again there’s no guarantee he’d nap that early in the morning now if we left say 9:30/10, as he’s used to having 5:5hrs awake.

I don’t know how to do it other than I stay home with him and my fiancé just goes so he’s there for his mum.

Should I do it in one day and hope for a couple of naps and early bedtime or potentially have three crap days?!

Wake windows

What do your days/nights look like for your 10 month old? Naps, wake windows, bedtime?

Are you worried at all about postpartum?

I'm just curious, what are others concerns when it comes to being postpartum? Are you more worried about the adjustment with a new baby or do you worry about your capacity for self care and your mental well being or lack of support or going back to work or anything else..... It's a lot when you think about it isn't it?

Parenting styles in the long run from experience..

I’m a first time mum to a 7 month old baby girl. Im exclusively breastfeeding, co sleeping and hoping to raise her to be securely attached.

Ive worked in nurseries in my early adulthood so i’ve seen all types of attachment styles and how it affects the early years.

Im trying to do everything the ‘right way’ in my mind but how has the above affected the future with your kids? Has it been positive/negative and how does it affect you as a mother?

8.5 month old separation anxiety

Is anyone else’s 8.5 month old really really clingy at the moment? My baby boy screams of if I put him down to do something else or can’t see me all the time. Is this normal?!

One year jabs

Dreading the jabs! I hated taking him for the first lot but they were so tiny they had no idea what was going on, now all I can imagine is him having one then being absolutely distraught and fighting the rest

How many needles do they have at this stage?