Community Posts, Tips & Support on Baby

Honest, unfiltered, and in real-time: what women like you are talking about. Peanut group chats, support, and posts on Baby

Vulnerable post: Is there such thing as the 4m+ trenches? I feel like I’m trying to stay afloat..

Next week I enter 4 months postpartum & my baby girl will hit, yet another milestone. As someone who struggles with anxiety, OCD and depression I somehow have done pretty well postpartum so far. I’ve always heard about the four month mark and as each week passed and I came closer to the four month mark, I still didn’t quite understand what these women were talking about as I didn’t genuinely feel like I was entering a rut. Well, next week is the week and this week has ROCKED me.

Maybe it’s because my husband left on Wednesday for 16 days, maybe it’s because I have officially hit a month of very little to no sleep, maybe it’s because I’m feeling extremely alone and isolated, who actually knows. Today as I was feeling joy of the memory of last September 27th when I found out I was pregnant, I simultaneously felt sadness, loneliness, anxiety, and failure. Failure that I am not doing a good job. Failure that I cannot make my baby happy or stay calm or get her to sleep. Failure that I’m not doing enough. I feel guilt when I put her down to try and get two seconds to myself or two seconds to eat food or two seconds to go to the bathroom for two seconds to try and manage an over flowing never-ending pile of laundry that’s accumulated from the last three months I spent away from home. I know I need to have grace for myself; every mother is told that. “Find grace for yourselves during a hard time”, but when my mind is racing and the baby is crying, grace is the last thing on my mind. Failure, guilt, sadness, anxiety, isolation, loneliness. Those are the words that come to mind.

Everyone talks about the newborn trenches. Personally, that wasn’t the “trenches” for me. Was it for you? People offer to help (maybe), phone calls, texts, gifts, deliveries, food all comes pouring in, babies sleep the most they will ever sleep besides to eat (yes that is more often), but it’s so different.

There is no more phone calls, no more texts, very to little support, no surprise check-ins or food drop offs, no offering to help watch the baby so you can try & feel human again, nothing. Most women go back to work, the partner has most likely been back at work, but for your baby everything has changed. They are more aware, more excited about the world, more excitement, are growing rapidly and hitting milestones quicker than you can blink. If anything, they need YOU, MOM more than ever. For mother’s these milestones come and go far too quickly, well before mom is even able to catch her breath or realize just how much time has passed, because she’s been trying to play catch-up with life and her mind since the very beginning.

So when all else fails, what are we doing mamas? Everyone tells you it takes a village to raise a baby, but no one’s willing to help build the village. So does anyone want to help build my village? This Mama could use a friend or two🥲🤍

He’s here & I’m struggling

Hey ladies! The little man is here but I’m struggling. Day 2 and he won’t sleep unless I hold him all night, we had an emergency c-section and I’m a single mom struggling tough. He is getting donor milk in the hospital along with matching because I’m not producing yet.

Does anyone have suggestions for things to help me recover, bottles/nipples for the formula feeds at home that won’t mess up me breast feeding until I’m producing more, and ways to get him to sleep not in my arms… it’s so hard to move a lot right now so if he doesn’t go down on his own I can’t keep getting up and down but that means I end up sitting sitting straight up and I’m not getting much sleep.

I’m sure once I’m producing milk and more healed it’ll be easier but right now it’s rough!! I gave in and introduced a pacifier too which I’m worried is why he’s not latching as much on the right side,

Pic of little man to draw more suggestions

Formula

Hey, I’m stuck on what formula to get, does anyone know which is the best as there’s so many different ones!🙈🤣

I think gone a bit overboard with the newborn/up to 1month clothes 😭

I honestly don’t know how I’ve managed to do that especially as a second time mum. I completely missed judged how much newborn & up to 1 months sleepsuits and vest I had from my first so I brought a few more and I’ve washed everything and was putting everything away and omg the draw is complete fully 😩😭 I hope baby can use them for at least the first 2-3 months like my first… 😩

Struggling to space out feeding

My 14 weeks old eats every 1h30 or 2h otherwise he starts screaming. Same at night. I’m really struggling to space it out. He did some 6h stretches a few times at night so he’s capable but struggling here.

Newborn constipation

My baby is 11 days old, she’s formula fed… I took my baby to doctors on Friday for not pooing, the doctor said keep an eye and be worried if she goes longer than 7 days, she had a poo early hours this morning but it was very pebble like rabbit droppings, she is still feeding, having wet nappies, alert ect… is there anything I can do to help her? I’m going to get another appointment tomorrow at GP but don’t know if I should be overly concerned, has anyone else had this? Her stomach often feels hard but I am under the understanding that’s the common sign of constipation

Nappies bins

Quick question, is it worth buying a nappy bin? Im pregnant with my first and I was thinking about nappy bins. My step daughter is just coming out of nappies but we would just put her dirty ones in the cats poo bin but with her she barely did poos when with us but when baby arrives I going to have a lot more pooy nappies would it be worth it getting a nappy bin. Thanks for any advice. 😄

Car seat newborn insert

When did everyone take out their newborn insert for their car seat as mine is a Joie signature travel system and was wanting to know when did they take their newborn insert out of their car seat

B/F baby constipated

My nearly 9 month old I think may be struggling to poo, she’s gone a couple days before but it hasn’t bothered her at all.

Today though is day 3 no poo, she keeps having random outbursts crying, I just changed her nappy and she was crying her eyes out and when I say she never cries, that’s how I know something is wrong. It looked in her nappy like she’s tried to poo but hasn’t been able too, she’s not really having solids and with being breastfed her poos are always really soft.. not sure why she’s struggling all of a sudden.

Anyone else had this with their little one and have any advice?

rocking chair

Hello, does anyone have any good recommendations for rocking chairs?
I find it so hard to shop online as you can’t try out how comfy they are!
I’m after a soft cosy rocking chair, with sturdy fat arms and preferably a foot rest unattached.
I want in comfortable enough that if I fell asleep on it, I would be comfortable the entire sleep.
I tried a few in the Mammas and Papas that is local to me but found the arms too thin. My local John Lewis also does not stock armchairs in branch to test.
Any recommendations and reviews would be much appreciated x

Swapping Formula?

My 4m old has started pooping a LOT this past week. She’s the most content baby, hardly cries, never seems uncomfortable so i’m not sure what’s causing it? Shes on cow&gate formula! We’re on day 5 of 6+ poops, yesterday we reached 11😭
Some are quite mucousy, some are watery and some seem normal? She’s red raw bless her, we’ve been lathering her in creams but i think just the sheer amount of pooping and wiping isn’t helping!

Advice? Do we need to try a different formula? Any recommendations?

Sertraline

Has anybody had any experiences with sertraline for postpartum ocd?

Depression

I feel so lost, unheard and unseen. I have postpartum depression because of my husband. Not because of my baby. He is so unkind to me. But he is so kind and has empathy towards other women. Seeing that breaks me. Any advices? I’m struggling to stay positive for my baby as I need to play and cheerful around him.

Night time routine

Just curious...what's everyone's bedtime routine? What time do you put baby to bed and do you go to sleep at the same time or stay up, and if so, is baby still in the same room as you? And when do you eat/go to bed yourselves?

13 months - sleep… what sleep?!

Since my little girl turned one her sleeping has drastically changed. She wakes more in the night. Takes at least an hour to resettle and is up again within 2 hours. I’m trying so hard to keep her in her own room but end up bringing her in with me by 3ish. She naps well at childminders, naps through the day well, she goes to bed between 6:30pm-7:00pm. Is this normal???

Formula

So I know formula is only good for an hour but what if my baby is still drinking it when it gets to the hour mark? She’s been falling asleep half way through her bottle then will wake up 10 mins before the hour so I’ll feed it to her. If she’s still feeding when it hits the hour is that okay?

How do you know baby is getting enough breast milk?

I’m new to this, he is feeding well, he doesn’t seem unhappy.

Crying when tired

Our son screams, and I mean screams when he’s tired during the day. He can take ages to settle and only sleeps on us. It’s so tiring. Anyone else? He’s always been this way I think he’s really sensitive to being tired & has high sleep needs

feeding and drinking

is anyone having trouble giving their baby milk, my daughter refuses to drink plain milk unless it's a milkshake any tips or tricks for this.
anyone having trouble with their baby's sleeping all the way through she wakes up about 3 times a night.
and is anyone having trouble with trying to get their kids off a 6month plus bottle and my daughter refuses won't take anything else and how do i get her to eat a bit more than she does as she's drinks so much juice that she just doesn't want to eat much food.

Skipping naps

My boy turned 18m last month, We’re not going through a sleep regression as such but he’s just randomly started skipping his daily nap is this normal? Is that it now for naps?