Community Posts, Tips & Support on Postpartum Care

Honest, unfiltered, and in real-time: what women like you are talking about. Peanut group chats, support, and posts on Postpartum Care

Mom Rage

I feel horrible because I just yelled at my almost 3 year old daughter for being upset that I trimmed her hair. I’ve been struggling a lot lately with irritability, rage, and it’s just comes out mostly on my kids and husband since they’re the ones I’m around all the time. I am a full time mom, so I don’t know if the rage builds up from the duties and things that I do every day. I just feel like my irritability and rage are worsening. I just get so frustrated sometimes and end up screaming at everyone. My toddler tonight even tried to explain to me that she was upset because I cut her hair & honestly I didnt want to listen but now that everyone is sleep and the house is quiet the guilt is building. I don’t want her to have all these memories of me yelling at her but I’m sure she will… I just feel like there might be something more wrong with me than just stress, hormones…

I would appreciate any advice 😞

What do I do

My mum has been ignoring me since I was 1 week postpartum because she was upset I didn't use her name for our newborn. It's been over 2 weeks she hasn't spoken to me and now she's randomly messaged me asking how I am. No acknowledgement at all that she's just ghosted me through probably the most difficult 2 weeks of my life? Just a casual "hi how are you doing? xx" Like??? Do I even reply? What do I say? Do I just pretend she didn't have a full blown temper tantrum? Do I just keep doing this over and over again?

Is anyone suffering with rage

Lately I’m struggling with anger towards my husband as I feel he doesn’t do enough when too overwhelmed with our baby but I know he does now. Please tell me I’m not alone.

Mom guilt

Is anyone else struggling with letting their baby play on their own? I feel like, if my baby is awake, I should be in there playing with her the whole time. I feel guilty whenever I leave her to play and go do things for myself. Anyone else struggling with this? And she’s not crying or anything, just quietly playing on her own. I just feel so guilty. I know she needs to learn to be independent. 😭

Hair

Anyone else’s baby got hair? He was born with black hair and it’s gradually got lighter. He’s now 17 weeks & im wondering whether it’s all gonna fall out 🥲🥲 it’s thinning at the back where he rubs his head against the cot in the night & maybe abit thinner on the sides but I don’t know whether it just looks like that compared to before because it’s not a dark

Help. Toddlerhood is so hard 😭

My little girl just turned 3 years old. I thought the terrible two will be over but hey what a joke. The attitude is sooo
much for me. she’s the sweetest but she’s too strong willed too. She keeps on testing boundaries. She’s a lot better with her dad though than she is with me. I know people say it’s because I’m her comfort zone blah blah. But gosh it’s exhausting and my patience is running out. It actually makes me feel like I’m doing things wrong. She even refuses potty when with me. 😭

Please tell me I’m not alone. She’s my second child too 😭

Best friend didn’t say HMD

Ladies , I need feedback .

My very best friend who I talk to every single day didn’t call or text to wish me a Happy Mother’s Day, when I called her the next day I asked sarcastically was she dead or did anybody die . 🫠

She told me she was sick and down bad. ( I knew she was sick with a common cold) . I told her that’s no excuse; you don’t have the flu and you could’ve at least sent a text.

She said she didn’t text anybody, which I don’t care about that either.

For a second she thought I was joking and the conversation got heated and I eventually hung up on her .. I told her that’s rude, disrespectful, and a slap in the face . Etc .

When I say I’m so annoyed, she was so insensitive about it .

I know I’m not crazy, but give me your opinion ?

Is it normal not to have braxton hicks?

So I have seen many posts and comments over the years about people having braxton hicks. Some as early as 30 weeks.

Is it normal not to get them?

Those who got the hicks, did you have a breach baby? Small baby? Low fluid? Anterior placenta?

I had all of those, bubba was born at 37+6 via c-section but I never had a single contraction.

Struggling with mental health as a mum

Has anyone else found their mental health has really taken a hit since becoming a mum? I love my LO more than anything, but some days feel overwhelming and like I’m not even here or a whole person. I just want to do my best for my baby but my anxiety and depression are bad. I would like to know if anyone else felt this?

Need your opinion.

It’s coming up on 2 years since my daughter passed. I feel like I’m still unable to grieve correctly due to the mistreatment I was treated like the day she passed. When she passed the corner came in the room and the first thing he said to me was “so CPS was at your house last night?” Mind you CPS has NEVER been to my house. After we left the hospital we had to do a reinactment with a fake baby doll on how we found her. When I was sitting on the side of my bed he stated “this is what happens when mothers sleep with their babies, they die” during this entire time I felt in survival mode. No tears, feeling like I was in a front row of a horror scene. Nothing made sense. We later find out she passed of a viral infection, I had to call him for the report he never called me. It was a terrible situation I’m from a small town and wasn’t ever able to share because I’m scared of backlash. Coming up on 2 years I want to speak about it, should I?

Does anyone else ever feel like a bad mum?

I made a post on a Facebook group about how my baby’s grandparents have him every other weekend for a night and omg the backlash I’ve had is insane. One person even took it a step too far by saying I shouldn’t have had my baby if I wasn’t going to act like a mother. Now I’m sat crying my eyes out over it. Because you know, as a new mum a young one at that, it is sooo easy to put yourself down wondering if you’re doing something wrong. Nevermind another mum telling you you’re being a bad mum.

Like genuinely what do I do now, I feel so guilty and genuinely attacked. Maybe they’re right and I’m the problem?😕

Soothing baby question

context: sometimes it takes me a few minutes to soothe my baby and my mom tends to want to hold him thinking she can soothe him faster.

question: how long should i wait before i let someone else give it a go at soothing my baby?

i feel like it destroys my confidence when my mom wants to jump in immediately when my baby is teething and a little hard to soothe. I don’t think people see me as someone capable of calming my own baby down because I’m a young mom even though I’m always ready to do so. that being said, I’m willing to put my ego aside if there’s some science behind letting someone else soothe your baby if you can’t do it yourself under a specific amount of time.

hope my question makes sense. thanks in advance!

Mastitis

Have any of you ladies had mastitis and could give recommendations to help? I've not been feeling too great the last 24hrs I've now been as sick as dog. I have pain in one boob doesn't appear to look or feel any different although I am in pain.
Will ring Dr in the morning but need something to help a girl out through the night.
P.s - currently combi feeding and have just taken painkillers x

Separation Anxiety - help!

Any advice for a mum who has a VERY (physically and emotionally) attached baby? She will only sleep if I put her to sleep. She will only eat if I feed her (she’s bottle fed). And she will only stop crying when I comfort her. She also has now started crying when I’m out of sight.

We have tried increasing her time with Dad when he’s at home and letting him be the one that settles her, but she starts hyperventilating and it’s very difficult to not comfort her. He has also been wearing my hoodies so he smells like me. I just don’t know what else to do now.

Does anyone have any advice because she’s starting nursery in 3 months and I’m dreading it now 🫠

Need to vent am I the problem?

Needing to vent a little here. We have a soon to be 3 month old baby.

My MIL seems smitten so far which has suprised us as she has always been negative about me and my husband having a baby, even telling my husband that they ruin your lives etc.

So I am giving her the benefit of the doubt and she wants to see her once a week for a few hours which is nice. However on every occasion she adds too many layers to our baby despite it being a warm day, we have told her every time she only needs one more layer then what you do and to check the back or chest to see if she is too hot or cold. Countless times she has disregarded our instructions and says her feet were cold so wrapped her in 2 blankets and covering her head despite her already in a long vest and sleepsuit. I picked her up and our baby felt so hot so I immediately removed the blankets. This happens every visit.
However our last visit we once again said please do not wrap her in a blanket it is warm enough. However upon our return she wrapped her up once more covering her head also. We again challenged her and she said she will do whatever she can like at her house.

I am also struggling with postnatal anxiety and feel this is making it worse. I am worried we will leave her one day with the MIL and she will be dead. I honestly dont know what else to do, I dont want to stop her seeing her only grandchild but I am not sure how else to get it through to her how dangerous it is to overheat a baby. What is worse my mil has experienced SIDs yet she still wont listen to us.

Needing reassurance.

My baby is over 6 months.
He can’t sit, at all.
He screams during tummy time, doesn’t put the weight on his arms, puts it on his chest instead and superman’s and can’t roll belly to back at all, no signs.
Have started weaning, would rather stare at the wall, no interest in food at all.
Is miserable all day long, has been like this since birth.
Barely looks at us, if put in front of us, just tries to look away as much as possible.
I keep being told it’s baby things and all normal, but I feel like no milestone is being hit.
I feel it in my gut and everyone is telling me I’m being crazy that there’s something wrong.. maybe I am.
But maybe there’s someone out there who feels the same as I do?

Depression

Why does depression come on so suddenly? Im 6w post partum and all i wanna do is hide under my blanket and cry. I have a therapist and im on meds that i take everyday. Idk what else to do.

Ugh

One thing I don’t like about myself is when I know what I’m about to say to someone then my social anxiety randomly kicks in and I don’t say anything.
So my son just started getting transportation to school . So the company called me Friday and told me the company name and what logo and color van that picks up the kids for school . So when I saw the van pull up I noticed the color of the van and I looked for the company logo to make sure this is the transportation for my son . So we went out for him to go to school and I didn’t say his name I waited until they confirmed his name and then I let him get in like I spoke and everything I’m just mad at myself that I didn’t actually say hey can you confirm his name now I’m having mom guilt 😭. Like I knew that this is the company that supposed to be picking him up for school I’m just mad at myself for not saying anything I feel dumb was I wrong ?

So I need advice here?

So recently my husband wants to have another baby but I don’t and I said multiple times I don’t after my first because of my mental health and I didn’t feel me.

But then when we was on holiday my husband myself and my son was on holiday and saw his nieces playing with him and that’s why he wants another child. But I stayed quite as I didn’t want to spoil my holiday and when we came back he made jokes towards my son that we gunna give more attention more towards sister/ brother coming and I was like no you don’t say that and get all moody at me but then forgot about it.

Yesterday he drank too much whiskey and starts thinking about 2nd baby but I said I wanna focus on me now as I am happy with me and my son and finally got back into sports.

But he said no we need another but I just stayed quite.

He’s a great dad but as a husband …he constantly don’t help me unless needed- he swears at me even at the smallest- puts me down in front of my son and also if I ask him something or just to do something he gets stubborn about it as says I’d should do it!

I wanna break it down on how to tell him I don’t really wanna have another but leaving out him being mean towards me.

I don’t want hurt his feelings or cause a agurment.

Possibly of getting back together with my baby dad ..

I need advice.. truly genuine, unbiased advice.

My baby dad & I have had it rough since finding out I was pregnant in 2024. He was smoking weed all the time to numb his feelings towards literally everything, including me. He just wasn’t a supportive partner at all. He’s bipolar (but won’t get help for a formal diagnosis) and always made me feel as if I was walking on eggshells. Granted, I know the hormones amplified my feelings, but he has done a multitude of things that have hurt me over the last year and 1/2. I left him at 14 weeks pregnant so that I could continue to grow our son in peace. I went back literally 2 days after delivery to give him a chance to show me he could be a good partner and father.

The week we came home from the hospital was the best I had gotten from him. Little things started adding up and leading to me resenting him over the next 4 months. The day our son turned 4 months old, I had to draw the line. I left him again. Since December 2025 to present day, we have been separated. I told him in January that I want my family with him, but there were things that had to change before I’d consider coming back with our son. I told him that if he could make the changes and be the man that our son and I needed him to be, that this separation would be temporary.

By February he was doing well. He had gotten a therapist to start learning to deal with his emotions. He took me on a date to celebrate Valentine’s Day, he was doing good. By the end of February things went down hill again. He had forgot to take his antidepressants/anxiety meds and was spiraling. His spiral consisted of hot and cold mood swings that I was not able to handle.

By mid March I had taken all I could of his mood swings and at this point, I didn’t want him to worry about me anymore. I didn’t want him constantly feeling like he was never doing good enough for me (he gets in head often and took my disappointment as an attack), so I told him to really just focus on bettering himself and being a good dad. Granted, I did and still do love him so much and I only said what I did so that he would really get the reality check he needed to push through to becoming better. This is also when we had started shared parenting time on the weekends and visitations through the week for him as our son is with me full time.

As of April 2nd, we made it an official separation. By April 11th, I had moved all mine and our son’s out of his house. By April 17th he attempted to go no contact (via his therapists suggestion). By the 26th he had asked if he could start having our son overnight. I told him I didn’t think it was possible right now with our son only being 8mo and having newly diagnosed health conditions that require him to wear oxygen to bed and be monitored each time his pulse ox alarm goes off. By the 27th his mother had disrespectfully texted me (after not hearing from her in over 5mo) about how she was shaking her head over everything I had taken from the house (which, was in fact all MY things). On the 28th he had been going back and fourth me over the things I took as well bc apparently the baby shower gifts for our son, that his family bought should have stayed at his house regardless if our son was using it on a daily basis. By the 30th, he was over for a scheduled visit and he was great to be around. We had good conversation, making jokes, and laughing with each other.

Now, on to May. Last Tuesday, the 5th he had let me know that he had a therapy session scheduled during his scheduled visitation time (he visits every Tuesday and Thursday) and I was flexible with him and allowed him to come later, after his appointment. We had some really good conversations after everything we’ve been through and the nature of our relationship at this point. It had me feeling like, “yes, this is it. This is what I’ve been waiting to hear and see from him.” So the next day, (last Wednesday) I texted him telling him how proud I was of him to be able to have such calm, collected conversations with me the night before. He hit me back with “I’ve finally found peace and what’s done is done.” So I’m thinking… 🤔 wonder how he “found peace” so quickly? Something in me told me that the peace he was feeling was the fact that he had found someone else. Later that evening, I had sent him a picture of our son after he had finished up dinner. He responded within minutes. I sent a text back asking if he had therapy the next day (Thursday) and hadn’t heard back from him in hours. So I checked our conversation to make sure I had actually sent it and it sent as a text message and not an iMessage (iykyk), so I thought that was a little sus. Then minutes later, I see his Snapchat story…. He had posted a picture with a location filter on and he was in the next city over (about 30-40 mins from our city, but he never goes there). At that point, something in me broke.. because I just knew he was out on a date with someone. That night I couldn’t sleep, I felt like I was going crazy bc just the thought of him already being with someone when we had just officially separated a month ago was nuts. It made me physically ill to even think about him being with someone else. So the next day (Thursday), he comes over for his visit. We’re very cordial at this point and he tells me that he’ll be coming to visit Sunday for Mother’s Day bc our son got me something. So naturally, I get excited bc I really wasn’t expecting anything from him. Then, I very bluntly ask him how his date went the night before, he’s baffled and asks how I knew he was on a date. Sir… I didn’t really know anything but you just confirmed it. So I’m losing my sh*t, balling my eyes out bc I still love this man and I’d always hoped he would get his sh*t together and come after me when he was really ready to have a family. We converse for a while, I hysterically cry multiple times, he tells me that he wants his family back but he’s been lonely and he truly thought I was done with him. Then he hugs me and just the feeling of being held by him for the 1st time in months while I’m falling apart made all my feelings I had buried rush back. He pulls away from and looks me in my eyes… then bam, we’re kissing. Then we start talking about the possibly of us doing a no strings attached hook up bc now there’s INTENSE sexual tension between us. The hookup was planned. Fast forward to Saturday, the 9th. It happened. Afterward I felt great, but I knew that we connection we had couldn’t continue as a no strings attached agreement like we planned. I didn’t mention it to him, but he felt the same way. Then we visited the idea of us again and what we both needed to move forward bc he had made the comment that what we did just complicated things for him. We didn’t come to a final decision before I left. Later, he had dropped our son off to me at my brother’s and just seeing him again made my heart beat out of chest. I ended up having a heart to heart with my brother about missing my bd and he convinced me that I need to be raw and honest with him. So I had texted him around 1am telling him everything.. how he’s my person and I don’t want anyone but him. I tell him that I’m ready to start taking baby steps towards getting back together and that I’ll do couples counseling with him and I ask him to let me know what he thinks of it all. He responds back that we can talk about it when he comes to visit. So he gets here on Mother’s Day, walks in with a balloon, roses, and a box. In the box was a 4K image of the moment our son was laid on my chest after engraved into a glass heart with his birth date. I didn’t even know this man had taken this picture, this was the 1st time I had ever seen it. So again, naturally.. I’m so excited and I’m tearing up. We then visit the idea of us again, we go over the fact of needing counseling and that I need him to stand up for me to his family so that hey respect me as his partner and mother of his child. He’s very firm on making that happen, we’re all cuddly and lovey afterwards bc at this point I’m thinking, okay.. we’re really doing this.

** rest is is in the comments **