Community Posts, Tips & Support on Postpartum Care

Honest, unfiltered, and in real-time: what women like you are talking about. Peanut group chats, support, and posts on Postpartum Care

How are we not burning the world down?

I just want to know how all the other moms are doing? With everything going on in the world, I I end up hysterically crying every other day. The horror so many women and child have experienced. That they are STILL experiencing. And almost always at the hands of a man. I am sad. I am furious. I want to give up. I want to hurt them back. I have so many feelings and have no one around me that understands. My husband tells me to stop paying attention, but that feels like I’m burying every little girl and woman that has gone through these things and I don’t want them to be forgotten. I can’t sleep some night because I just stay up crying, mourning all the lives lost. Is there someway I can help these people more than just signing a petition? I want real change but have no idea how to go about it.

imposter syndrome since having baby ??

i don’t know i kind of forget im her mom ?? like it’s hard for me to wrap my head around. or like i feel like its all too good to be true. i had a perfect pregnancy and birth and my baby is so beautiful. she’s a clingy and fussy baby but she’s absolutely lovely. i feel like im dreaming half the time because how is this my life ?? i thought it was all going to be worst case and it wasn’t. i’m incredibly grateful but it just seems like maybe i’m waiting for something bad to happen ?? idk

IUD and biopsy

Weird question but has anyone ever experienced this before? I’m 10 weeks postpartum and she said I would have to get a biopsy done today and that it would hurt along with the insert of the IUD, well I was completely numb down there? Like I couldn’t feel her doing anything including putting in the IUD i freaked out a bit and tried to ask why I couldn’t feel anything even her touching me but she was in a hurry and rushed out..

CPS?

Something’s wrong with me. My LG was wailing & crying & screaming & all I did was watch. Didn’t feel like picking her up to comfort her & still don’t.. should I just turn myself in?

I don’t think my husband is taking his meds

My husband has bipolar disorder. He was on Vraylar but when he got a new job the company that they use benefits for denied his authorization for approval to get the medication. He sent in so much paperwork saying that he’s been on this particular medication for 10 years and they still denied him. So his doctor put him on something else and it makes you sleepy so you have to take it at night.

When he was without his medicine for close to a month he had a manic episode and we were arguing every other day. He started going through my iPad and argued with me about pictures that were in my email from 2010 from an ex boyfriend. I didn’t meet my husband until 2020 so idk why he would be upset about something that was 10 years before he even existed in my life. Also he’s been accusing me of cheating when I’ve never cheated on him but he has cheated on me when I was pregnant with both of our boys.

Today he got mad because he went through my cashapp and saw my cousin sent me $100 last month for my birthday and wanted to know why I didn’t tell him and give him some of the money. For context I’m a SAHM and he is a Cyber Security Engineer who makes $160k/yr. I feel like if someone gave him money for his birthday I wouldn’t ask him for it.

So because of that he pulled all of the money out of the shared account and I have to ask him for money I would need for the kids, groceries, cleaning supplies etc. The reason I don’t think he’s taking the medicine is because he’s been starting arguments and asking about shit from 6 yrs ago. I love him but I can’t take how mean he is when he’s not on his meds. Idk what to do. Honestly this is making me wish I never met or had kids with him.

Imposter Syndrome

Does anyone else feel like you have imposter syndrome being a mom?

I had my first a couple weeks before I turned 38 and I had already accepted I wouldn't have kids (not by choice).

I remember going to my appointments feeling like I wasn't as pregnant or really pregnant like the other patients in the lobby were. I often catch myself feeling like this isn't my life and I'm playing house my child. I love him so much, but I feel like this just isn't real. He's 15 months so I've had time to come to terms.

Has anyone else felt something like this? How did you get over it?

Bonding with baby

I think I am struggling to bond with my baby. I am 2 weeks pp and just dont feel any strong emotions. It feel bad that I don't, I'm worried and feel a bit ashamed of it. I have a history of poor mental health but I have been ok recently. I don't think I have ppd. I just think I don't have the capacity like other mums to bond properly. I have not been able to breastfeed. I would love to hear what other mums experiences have been of bonding. (Maybe I just don't know what it looks like)
What does it feel like? How would you describe it? When did it happen for you?

Self care tips

I’m tired of the role of a mum ? I love my baby and enjoy being her mum but I’m tired of all the work that comes with it. It’s so much effort being a mother, and it’s 24/7. Even when I’m asleep there is a part of my brain that is still on high alert and can hear every shuffle , and feel breathing changes and temperature changes etc.
I’ve had a couple hours away from my baby but I spent that time thinking about what I need to do for my baby when she gets back !

What do people do to switch off and recharge? I desperately need to reset but I don’t know how

4 months pp feelings

4 months in and still don’t feel myself..
Every day I’m waking up and just waiting for my partner to get home. Feeling lonely constantly..

love my baby so much but he still doesn’t do a lot so sometimes (often) feel like monkey running around him so he doesn’t cry.. wish he was bigger so we could have a chat, I could at least have some conversation with him.

I thought it will get easier but feeling still the same as I felt before.
Maybe I wasn’t made to be a mother.
I see all these mothers so happy walking around and feel like I’m a bad mother even though I give all the attention to my baby so I know he feels loved for sure.

When will I start feeling better?
To add to this, Baby sleeping 11 hours at night with 1 feed only but I barely sleep so I’m exhausted (I just wake up at night for no reason and struggling to fall asleep)

Is anyone feeling the same? Mothers with more than one child - did you feel like this with your first one and it passed at some point?

Sadness

10 days pp and I love my baby so much but can’t stop crying about the life I had before. All I do is worry about him and I hardly sleep because I can’t switch off 😩

i’m about to totally lose it on my best friend

at the end of last month, my best friend cam to stay with my husband and i until our new baby is born to help with my toddler, since i’m super pregnant and struggling. but the issue is she really hasn’t helped much at all. she’s constantly annoyed with my son for picking up and playing with her things even though she leaves them within his reach despite us offering to move them to a place he can’t get to. she refuses to do dishes because it “makes her nauseous” and she doesn’t want to watch the toddler because he just cries for mama the whole time. she leaves her things all around our already small and cluttered space and in all honesty i feel disrespected in my home. i spent all night cleaning last night. i mean disinfecting and mopping and everything and by the time i wake up and come out of my bedroom the entire apartment is a complete disaster. she leaves her vapes around where my son can reach them. she dyed her hair and left the mess in the bathtub for me to get down on my hands and knees to clean up by myself at 37 weeks pregnant. i love her but i am so enraged i’ve thought about kicking her out and making her go home. i understand she doesn’t know what it’s like to be pregnant or what it’s like to be a mom but i expected HELP from her and now i’m just cleaning up after, cooking for, and taking care of another person on top of my husband and my son while heavily pregnant. i had an absolute meltdown yesterday and sobbed like i havent since i was a teenager. im so exhausted and i feel so taken advantage of and angry, betrayed, sad. i don’t know what to do anymore. she lives states away and can’t drive herself home because she doesn’t have a license. i’m losing it. please help.

Have you ever had a post partum plan?

I mean written down like you would a birth plan and getting your partner on board. Not just preferences for after birth like baby bath, but I mean for example taking care of yourself - or better yet who's there taking care of you and how during those vulnerable weeks when you can only sleep when baby sleeps and can't find time to take a shower!

Am I doing things wrong?

My friend and her mum just came round to see me and my 5 month old and every time they tried to hold her she cried with real tears. She does this with everyone at the moment unless its me or my partner or my sister for some reason. My friend who has no kids said you need to leave the room as she spends too much time with you and the mum said I need to spend time away from her regularly which i said I can't as a breastfeed. They asked how we slept to which I said co sleep and she wakes quite a lot in the night and the mum said that her crying with others is my fault, that i need to be tougher and let her cry as she will struggle when shes goes to nursery. Friend also doesnt get why i cant go out in the evenings which i said is because of breastfeeding and cosleeping and to be honest I just don't want to. Doothers agree with them? I dont leave my baby at all, 1 hour max with my husband and I sleep with her and cuddle her when she cries in night. Am I doing it wrong and will she struggle at nursery when shes one? 😭

Am I being silly?

So I have a 4 year old who is a very girly girl. She has asked me to get her perfume that she can wear now and again but where do I even start?

I was diagnosed with PPA/PPD after she was born and it honestly gives me so much anxiety that perfume will really harm her.

Am I being silly? 🫣

Please be honest because I do feel like I’m a little too strict sometimes due to my anxiety and I don’t want that to impact her as she grows up.

Supportive partner

What does a supportive partner look like when you have bipolar disorder and anxiety and are a sahm to a 20 month old. I only have depressive episodes not manic episodes

Anyone else feeling quite emotional at the moment?

I don’t know if it’s my hormones or what but I feel so emotional. I cried 4 times yesterday for no reason. I’ve cried twice today for no absolute reason, I just feel really emotional.

Postpartum depression?

How do you know what's depression Vs just circumstance?

I'm feeling low but surely that's normal- as not sleeping due to regression, in the trenches with baby and toddler and partner roommate vibes. No money etc.
Not wanting to leave the house or do anything but surely that's lack of energy due to exhaustion?

Just feel a bit numb to It all. Is this normal?

Hair loss

The postpartum hair loss is getting out of hand. Any tips for what can help? 😣

Wrist Pain

Anyone experienced severe wrist pain postpartum? 12 weeks and severe wrist pain continues! Tried ice and hot compressions.

Struggling to accept

I have one of each and I’m pregnant with my 3rd and it’s a boy. I’m so desperately sad that I won’t have a girl again. I’m trying to come to terms with it and I’m just having flashbacks of my time with my daughter and it makes me sad that I won’t ever get to experience that again. My son has been a rough baby compared to my daughter. I’m just worried I’m gonna have a rough time with the new baby like I did with my son. This is my LAST baby and I’m angry and sad that this is it. How do I accept this? I’m hate change and always thought I would have two girls.