Community Posts, Tips & Support on Postpartum Care

Honest, unfiltered, and in real-time: what women like you are talking about. Peanut group chats, support, and posts on Postpartum Care

My fault apparently

Basically I have a 5 year old son and I'm having a little girl in October but unfortunately I don't have my son living with me and my unborn daughter can't come home either it's because of domestic violence records cohesive behaviour physical and mental abuse from him and hes always yelling at me saying it's my fault because I was in care and I'm on methadone it's killing me inside

When did you get your spark back postpartum?

going through PPD and i think this feeling is forever… please comment as well?

Pain after C-section

I had an emergency c section 3 weeks ago. Is it common to feel worse now than I did last week? My abdomen is aching and I’m getting stinging and aching pain from where my C-section wound is. My lower tummy around the C-section is still very sensitive and it all looks worse from how deep my stretch marks were during pregnancy.
I am now exclusively breastfeeding so I think this may contribute to how achy I am feeling?

Was it wrong of me did I really overreact?

So for context we both woke up at the same time I got up changed the baby put clothes on him and got the diaper bag ready and then went to get myself ready we were short on time but I still wanted to look nice so I went to the bathroom to shave my legs with
Dove sensitive was doing it in the sink counter and he comes in saying I’m nasty for doing it on the sink was it really that bad? It’s not like I wasn’t going to clean the sink and he trims his beard and leave his hairs

How to control postpartum anger and anxiety

I have postpartum anger and anxiety it's been a year now since I've had my amazing son but I'm still struggling with it. Mainly with the postpartum anger and it only comes up when me and my boyfriend have an argument things will get escalated and I've tried stepping back and taking time but he keeps pushing and says space isn't healthy and we have to figure out in the moment how to solve whatever the problem is. I don't think that's healthy if both of us are frustrated especially if I'm about to blow up like a volcano and ask for time to calm down. I've even used my phone as a fidget where I just scroll and scroll and listen to what he's saying but not making eye contact But then that's rude I'm not paying attention and looking at him. Does anyone have the same issue? How are you dealing with it?
And then I feel bad when I blow up.

Support

Hi, I don’t really know where to start off, I suppose this is maybe just a bit of a rant but I don’t know where to turn to. My daughter is 8, she has suspected adhd and is on the waiting list for a diagnosis. I am at a point where I don’t know how to cope, I’ve been to the GP so many times and I’m always told to persevere. I have persevered… for years. I am used as a punching bag, I get called every name you could imagine, I get swore at, I get hit, I get bit. I’m at a point where I’ve exhausted everything that I can do and nothing is working. I can deal with being called a name once in a while but when you’re dealing with all of this every single day without fail then it seriously wares you down. I basically sit and cry every single night because each day feels like I’m being crushed under enormous pressure. There’s genuinely never a day where there isn’t some form of issue. I just don’t know what to do anymore.

Anyone experiencing severe intrusive thoughts .

It started well over a week ago would I hurt my daughter or how would I hurt my daughter .
And since then it’s been consistent would I drop a tea on her or am I going to drop her.

As well as having thoughts maybe she needs to go for adoption .
I have ppd and major anxiety

Its going to get bad. Tw:grief and cancer

Today I am leaving to move into the hospice house with my sister until the end of her time. I can feel this bringing on a depressive episode. My big sister, my second mom, and my best friend. How am I supposed to keep going without her? Who will I call when I have news? Who will I send funny videos to at 3am? The one person that I know has my back no matter what is leaving. Aggressive colon cancer that has now spread to her brain. Im finding it extremely difficult to be "mom" in my grief. My daughter is 7 so she knows what's going on, but doesn't fully understand. I feel guilty for leaving her while I go to my sister too, but I know I have to. No point to the post. Just getting it out there.

Anyone really been through it up to supporting soneone going through it?

Anyone dealt with custody, DV, entire lack of support system, housing instability, crisis of all kinds?

Just looking to talk to someone that understands. I feel like theres a lot of new moms, married/partnered, working or otherwise mom's that are not able to relate to this or feel comfortable hearing about it.

Bonus if you came out the other end of this okay. Even if your still dealing with it let's connect.

Ive got a Deadpool sense of humor about things and a life like a soap opera.

Someone help me figure out why I'm in my own way or just laugh with me about how fubar all this is

Separation Anxiety??

Has anyone’s little one done this? Our girlie is 17 months old and has started playing a game where she throws a toy away or puts it in her bed or in some other hidden spot and waves good bye and starts crying. Then she repeats it again and again until shes almost inconsolable.

She’s also started some nights requesting to be put in her bed straight away (we feed to sleep most nights) and waves goodbye to us and cries her little eyes out. Then she gets mad if I pull her out but is so upset when I put her back in the bed. The only thing that breaks the cycle and gets her to sleep is feeding her while my husband and I kiss (I kid you not - she literally will request it and gets mad if we stop).

Anyway I have no idea what to do. She’s giving wanting independence but terrified by the concept vibes.

Has anyone experienced something like this??

Rage

Anyone else dealing with irrational rage atm? I have 4 kids 11,9,2,5 months) and I’m constantly snapping at them and just bursting into tears because I feel so burnt out & frustrated.
I shuffle with mental health at the best of times and have had ppd after every baby.
I’m on medication but it’s not working. So I’m booked in for a review next week.
I don’t really know why I’m posting this tbh. I guess I’m just looking for people in the same sort of position so I don’t feel so alone in all this 😞

Lost

Just the other day, I was told by somebody who I thought loved and cared about me tell me that I’m a bad mother and honestly, it made me go into a full mode of just not knowing what to say or how to react. This person has no idea what it’s like to be a mother and I just wanna know if anybody else has gone through this or if anybody else has been through this by somebody who has no idea what it’s like to be a mother my house may not be the moat tidy toys everywhere all the time, and might not have their ducks all in a row, but still takes care of their child who is making sure their child is bathe happy loved fed. I just needed to let somebody know and please no hate. I’ve had a bad week as it is getting that message, but I just needed to get this off my chest.

I’ve given up being anonymous 😂

Hi mums, I’m really looking for some advice because I’m feeling angry and hurt.

I’m a first-time mum and my son is still very young. Over the past few months, things with my mother-in-law have become increasingly difficult. There have been hurtful comments towards me, criticism about my parenting, and issues with boundaries.

There was also an incident where my son was unwell and struggling with feeding. Instead of asking how he was or showing concern, we felt accused of lying or exaggerating the situation and keeping her away from him. That really hurt, especially as we were already worried and trying to do what was best for our baby.

My partner and I decided to take some space because the situation was affecting us as a family. I recently reached out to her myself because I genuinely wanted to try and talk things through calmly. I suggested meeting for a walk and having an honest conversation, but she ignored my message and instead called my partner while he was at work.

When he didn’t answer, she told him that if he didn’t answer, “this whole situation was going to get a whole lot worse” and that she had spoken to people who said she had a “high chance of winning.”

The thing that has really upset me is that she has previously told both me and my partner that she would take our son away from us. Hearing words like “winning” and “fighting for my grandson” has made me feel like my child is being used as a threat or a way to pressure us.

I completely understand that grandparents love their grandchildren and want to be involved, but I don’t believe a child should ever be used as leverage in adult disagreements. My partner and I just want a respectful relationship where boundaries are listened to.

At this point, I honestly feel like I don’t even want a relationship with her anymore. I feel like too much has been said and done, and I’m struggling to see how we move forward after feeling like my child has been used against us. Part of me feels like no contact is the only way I can protect my peace and focus on my little family.

Has anyone experienced anything similar with a family member? How did you handle it when someone brought your child into conflict or threatened to take them away? I’m just looking for advice and support because this has been really stressful.❤️

First Trimester Trenches

Omg…I’ll be 12 weeks this week and I’m starting to feel like myself again, but starting at 6 weeks to 11.5 weeks I thought I was going to die. I was SO sick and when I wasn’t throwing up I was severely nauseous. I finally got the energy to deep clean my room, which made me feel a lot better. My morning sickness was so bad I was showering every 3 days, even the smell of the shower water made me sick. Now that I’m feeling better I’m just really lonely, I feel like my few friends I do have are enjoying life and it’s making me depressed being alone all the time. Especially when I feel like nobody understands what I’m going through…on top of that I can’t stand my bf now that I’m pregnant lol

Why do MILS / grandparents push boundaries

Needing to vent to some fellow moms who might understand.

On our very first night home with our newborn, our daughter had a rough time latching and cried most of the night. My husband and I were exhausted, overwhelmed, and just trying to figure things out. Instead of being helpful, both my mom and MIL completely panicked over the crying and added so much chaos that my husband ended up shutting the bedroom door on my mom just so we could breathe.

Ever since then, it feels like the focus shifted entirely to their hurt feelings. My mom cried because I didn't proactively offer to let her hold the baby while I was in the trenches of postpartum pain, and a month later, my MIL is still complaining about our boundaries (no kissing, waiting on visitors) with the whole "back in my day" speech.

I feel like those precious first days were stolen from us and turned into drama about them. We’re first-time parents just trying to keep our baby safe and adapt to this new life, but they seem determined to control the situation and guilt-trip us.

How do you all deal with grandparents who make your postpartum experience all about themselves?

Desire for partner

I’m about 10 months postpartum and I don’t have that much desire for my boyfriend. It’s been a point of contention in our relationship since our baby was born. He’s very affectionate kisses me all the time and loves up on me. He’s told me I pull away or he will feel like my energy is closed off. Then he takes it as rejection which then he takes personal. I have told him it’s not personal. I just take care of a baby all day and I don’t get a break to be human. Has anyone dealt with intimacy issues in their relationship?

Need advice.

I have a 2 yr old daughter she will be 3 in November I just don't know what to do anymore she's super attached & when I leave or just step away for a min she gets overly stressed I do believe she has ADHD I know it's too early to diagnose. Are there any gummies that could help calm her more during the day I just don't know what else to do. I'm a single mom doing everything by myself and it's to the point that I am very overly stimulated

Toddler cries horrendously due to weaning

Like wtf are parents doing who do CIO and similar methods. How can you leave your child alone
Are you all insane? No parental instinct?!

Mine cries a lot because we want to reduce bf. It is horrific, I’m there trying to help and are close to crying.

Not understandable to me how parents let their kids cry on purpose!

Yes, this is a rant about parents who don’t care if their kids cry! They are stupid, don’t understand long term effects and alternatives

I don’t know what to do

I’m a little over 4 months PP. I have been struggling pretty bad emotionally. My boyfriend and I have been having issues, even back when I was pregnant. I constantly feel like I’m walking on eggshells. I can never tell him how I feel or that he makes me feel a certain way because he turns it into a fight. He has anger issues and refuses to get back into therapy and get back on the meds he was taking. I left him last November. But it was only for a day. I was 6 weeks pregnant at that point.

We have been together a little over 2 years. I had a very complicated birth. He was absolutely amazing during all of that. But we’re back to him hating everything. It’s almost like it’s his way or no way. Even out in public. He just gets so mad all the time. If he accidentally drops something, it’s the end of the world. He’s always complaining on how everyone is out to get him and the world is out to get him.

Our son has been learning how to scream lol. Sometimes he will scream and cry at the same time. My boyfriend will just start yelling at him. Like I get it hurts your ears but he’s a baby. Like wtf! He says our son doesn’t like him because he only really does that when he’s home.

I’ve brought two dogs into this relationship. One is 10 years old and the other is 2 years old. The 10 year old is a rat terrier. My boyfriend hates him. They have never gotten along. Well the rat terrier is a senior dog. He has to wear diapers. He has peed on my boyfriend’s stuff before. Well I guess yesterday he wouldn’t go potty outside, but came back in the house and lifted his leg on our son’s stroller. He had his diaper on so he didn’t get any pee on it. But my boyfriend freaked out and basically told me that I have until the end of the week to get him out of his house. He’s making me choose between him and my first ever dog that I’ve had for the last 10 years.

Everything is so fucked right now. I’m so far in the hole it’s insane. He wanted me to stop working and just stay home with our son which I love doing. But I’m so far behind on my car payments that he said he would take care of. He makes $30/hour. I have no idea where all this money is going. He keeps saying we are so far behind in bills. Idk I’m just so lost right now.

I just want to run away 😭

How much sex a month?

How many times a month in the first year postpartum do you and your husband have sex? (Trying to figure out what the normal range is for partners with a baby!)