Community Posts, Tips & Support on Postpartum Care

Honest, unfiltered, and in real-time: what women like you are talking about. Peanut group chats, support, and posts on Postpartum Care

Can I get pregnant again after I start getting my period after birth?

I’m about 9mo postpartum and since my baby was 2 months old I started getting my period again. I assumed getting a period was a sign that I had eggs waiting to be fertilized but after all this time I haven’t gotten pregnant again? Why is that?

Itchy scar

I am 4.5 months postpartum and I have pain in my left hip and scar is itchy. The scar looks fine, I think it's just strange it's itching now.

Pregnant again

I’ve just found out Im pregnant again. I havent even told my husband yet. I have a 4 year old and my youngest turns one next month. That means 2 under 2. Anyone in the same boat or got any words of reassurance for me. I feel like I need to manage my own emotions before I can tell anyone else.

am i an asshole?

I'm going to try my hardest to explain myself and my feelings as best as possible here. This is the second time that this is happening to me/ i'm feeling this way, and I'm beginning to wonder if maybe I'm the problem.

So I had this friend that I have known since we were in preschool together. She and I have been besties ever since. I had my son and shortly after, she had gotten pregnant and was due with her first baby right before my son turned 2. Around the time she told me she was pregnant, I was in the thick of motherhood. I had to become a stay at home mom, my son was still not sleeping through the night, and I was having a hard time trying to find who I was again. Literally every conversation with my friend became pregnancy or baby related and it just got extremely annoying. Any attempt at making conversation about anything else was ghosted or short lived before returning to talking about baby things. Now, don't get me wrong, I wanted to hear ALL things baby, but i didn't feel like 100% of our conversations should have been about that. I feel like, since we were friends for years, we should've been able to maintain conversations about other things. Unfortunately, we ended up falling out.

Now, I am having my third baby and I still feel this way, except it's a completely different friend that this exact situation is happening again. I'm not the type of person to talk about my kids or my pregnancy 100% of the time. I have other interests. I'm not just a mom. I love talking politics, pets, movies, conspiracy theories etc. I love reading / writing. I just feel like we can talk about those things, too. Not just baby or mom talk. Especially if these are friends who have bonded with me over those things in the past.

Is this feeling valid or am I just an asshole ???

LINDSEY CLANCY: woman who was 8 months postpartum and killed her kids … are you on her side ?

I think all the people saying that her husband did it are just off the rails, I know that what she did to her kids was wrong but she was in postpartum psychosis on medications for months trying over 10 types that wouldn’t work. Her husband FAILED her and their babies completely. He was not there for her the way he should’ve been it doesn’t make what she did okay and sure she should sever jail time or mental health time but I support her and deeply feel sorry for her…
Her journal says it all she was SUFFERING and alone her husband was not there for her when she told him how she felt he should be just as guilty those are HIS kids postpartum IS NOT EASY

Vent

Okay, I need some brutally honest advice because I’m genuinely at the point where I’m angry and I don’t know what to do with it.

My sister-in-law and I used to be extremely close. I was there for her through pregnancy, postpartum, her husband and her baby, and I genuinely treated them like my own family. Then I had my baby, and when I was at my most vulnerable and actually needed support, she completely withdrew from me. She stopped talking to me, started treating me like a stranger, made plans with mutual friends without telling me, and carried on happily while I was struggling, crying and trying to survive postpartum. I tried reconnecting so many times, opened my heart and told her everything, and still never got an explanation.

Now we live under the same roof and basically act like strangers. She can be completely normal and lovely in front of everyone else, while I feel invisible at home. I’m almost 10 months postpartum and honestly, I’m angry. I hate how much this situation has affected me and how much of my happiness and motherhood I feel like I’ve lost because of it.

I don’t want to hurt her physically or do anything dangerous or illegal. But I’m also tired of always being the understanding one and just swallowing everything. So tell me honestly — if you were in my position, how would you “give it back” without stooping to something horrible? How would you make someone realise they no longer have access to your kindness, energy or attention? because I genuinely need to get this anger out somehow.

What do I do

I took my daughter to her nursery friends birthday party today and one of the birthday girls relatives bit my daughter I didn’t want to cause a scene so I let the mother of the birthday girl know we were leaving as my daughter was really upset and told her why we were going she didn’t say anything so I text her and she read my texts and I sent a picture of my daughters arm and got no response back I’m just fuming and can’t stop thinking about it I feel like I should have just kicked off cuz I’m raging

Don't Get a Divorce for the Sake of the Baby🧸

I’m in a pretty delicate situation. I have a three-month-old baby, and I’ve been married for four years, but it seems like our marriage may be coming to an end.

We have both accepted that, for our baby’s sake, we will probably need to stay together until he is at least two or three years old. There is still love between us.

As a new mother, with all the hormonal and emotional changes that come with this period, I feel very conflicted about how I should behave and what mindset I should have.

Do I tell myself, “He is still my husband, I still love him,” and continue living as though nothing has really changed until the relationship eventually ends? That would include continuing to have a sexual and affectionate relationship with him, but I’m afraid that this could make me even more emotionally vulnerable and make the eventual separation much more painful.

Or should I start creating some emotional and physical distance now — less touching, less intimacy, and more of a roommate/co-parent relationship? That also feels incredibly difficult when you still love the person. It feels sad for both of us, because it would mean not really being able to comfort, support, or be close to each other during such an intense period of our lives.

At the same time, seeing other people while we are still married is not something I consider ethically acceptable.

I’m genuinely torn between protecting myself emotionally and allowing myself to continue loving and being close to my husband while we still have this time together. What do you think is the healthiest way to approach a situation like this?

Genuine pp hair loss treatments

Hi girls! I'm just wondering if anyone has used any treatments or supplements that have honestly had a positive impact on less hair shedding? I fully appreciate that postpartum hair loss is normal and temporary but just putting the feelers out there before I spend my pennies 😘

Low mood 😩

Anyone else started with low mood about 8 months having their baba? I had a traumatic birth and never felt this low after it which is when I kinda expected too. I’ve been struggling with weaning at the start, my HV wanted to refer me to counselling for that but I managed to get over it myself and we’re smashing it now. But at the moment I just feel sad all the time, I’m not enjoying things I normally do, bickering with my partner constantly over things that I know aren’t his fault I’m just snapping. Feel like everything is getting on top of me and idk what to actually do about it. Can you get post natal depression 8 months in? Is that a thing?

Mourning 3 years later

My daughters father died 3 years ago from a drug overdose/suicide. I still cry and listen to our song. We werent together when he died but we were very close and practically best friends co parenting (no he was not an acitive addict he just used it to commit suicide). Its just really sad i couldn't save him and he didnt open up to me.

My husband now of 2 years loves my daughter and our 2 children together. And is very supportive when i have a night where im just dancing to our song in the kitchen.

Friday will be 3 years since he passed. Anyone have any tips on how to deal with grief?

"I dont like you daddy"

So my 5 year old daughter has always been a mummy's girl but the past year 80% time she will be horrible to her dad/my partner.
She will say "i dont like you" to me during a tantrum but she really goes at my partner for absolutely no reason 90% time.
She shouts "go away" to him when he walks in the room.
Its really upsetting him and I keep telling him she doesnt mean it and to ignore it but i know its really affecting him and he struggles in the moment and will say things like "fine I'll go"/storm up stairs or he will argue with her..which is of course making her do it more as shes getting a reaction.
I'm just after some advice really..is this a faze?

What the hell

My daughter is usually so kind, happy, clever and just amazing.
But these last few weeks have been AWFUL. Whining for me even when i am there!
there are a multitude of factors but I'm not sure which could be the main cause. The biggest things are
1) 18 month regression? My friend said her son was super needy and clingy and it lasted months.
2) a month ago we did another go at ivf and during the wait period I tried to be a bit more hands off to allow the embryo the best chance to implant.
3)18 month jabs last week
4) i am a teacher and she only does term time only in nursery, i have kept her in 1 day a week for familiarity but she has essentially had 3 weeks of more of me.

Anyone else going through similar? I've never wanted to be back at work this soon into the holidays 😅 she is just super whiney all the time - where has my lovely little girl gone 😅

Are they gaslighting me?

I’m 10 weeks having my first baby and I’m really not loving pregnancy at all. I’ve never been this exhausted in my life and still have to work full time. And my sisters, mum and partner have all said similar things like ‘you’re only a couple months’ and ‘it’s still early it gets worse’ trying to essentially say it can’t be that bad yet because you’re not pregnant enough. And I’ve never felt more alone in anything in my life. My partner is so supportive but when it comes to this he just cannot understand what I’m going through. So I have no one to vent to without feeling judged. When I talk about my pregnancy I see my sisters eyes all glaze over like ‘here she goes again’ as if it’s not the biggest change in my entire life. Just feel lonely.

I cried yesterday - but did I over react, I’m due on my p and I get SO emotional, I can’t control it. trigger child harm

I read an article the other day where a 12 week old baby had a fractured skull, broken legs and arms etc from either the mother or step dad. I commented on Facebook on the news article saying ‘go to hell’ for what they said. Anyway I didn’t know it was someone my partners friends knew so my partners friends wife messaged me saying the article is incorrect none of them hurt that baby (I still don’t believe them) as to what the write up said, but ok.
but at the time I was at my partners family house and he raised his voice (which he never does) at me in front of the whole family and said stop writing stuff on Facebook post it’s weird, so it’s what you get basically for writing stuff (but I only wrote as they hurt an innocent little baby)
Then my sister in law said you’re always causing drama (which I 100% didn’t) I felt attacked off them both, so I walked off and cried - I said to well you both clearly don’t given a crap about babies that are being hurt but I do

How do you work through/process anger as a SAHM?

I have been trying really hard to work on my patience this year. My mom was not the most patient person, so I've always known I don't want to be the same way. It's a lot easier said than done 😅 I do feel that I've improved to some degree. However, throughout the day, it's really hard for me to healthily process my emotions.
I feel like, when I do exercise patience with something, I suppress my angry emotions at that time. Those suppressed emotions then linger inside of me and build up until I explode later in the day, because when I'm going from trying to diffuse a little quarrel to trying to make sure my kids are eating (let alone eating fairly healthily for their ages), to making dinner while one kid wants me to hold him and so on and so forth, it all adds up.
However, I immediately feel guilty every time I do yell, especially because I know it doesn't help anybody. I always know that I want to and should be better. It's really difficult for me to do so in any given moment when I can't just walk away from a situation.

My husband is doing whatever he can right now to help with situations when he's not working, but he does have an injured back as of last week, so I am doing any physical labor for the most part (mostly with my youngest).

advice

I got a four month old and i have relative who is hoarder i didn’t know it before because i came here 2 years ago she never call or invited me so no contact at all but now i have a baby and when i went inside her house my heart broke how can someone lives like that. she got disability ( she got spine issue ) she can hardly walk and she’s in severe depression. she wont let anyone near her house only me and trust me how can i help her? she’s asking me to stay night at her place with baby but i dont know i really feel bad for her and what can i do. tell me how can i clean it for her in a day its 50 bags of clothes , wood and alot of stuff

High stress

If you’ve had a super stressful pregnancy from beginning to end full of anxiety/ depression. Did your baby’s turn out “normal” and healthy. I feel so guilty for my trauma and I want my baby to come out alive. I’m 37 weeks.

Am I being crazy?

Hi, so I just came on my period and yesterday afternoon I kicked my husband out for being too rough with my baby, he refused to see my point of view and instead made me feel bad, he’s done this so much.

He struggles to put her to sleep so he results to essentially forcing her to sleep, he picks her up roughly and plays with her too intensely for my liking she’s only three months so I don’t want to hurt her but he just doesn’t see it that way, whenever he puts her to sleep she screams but it’s different with me? I can’t tell whether I overreacted or not, I’m currently dealing with postpartum depression, anxiety and psychosis, I’m scared I overreacted.

I don’t want to do this anymore.

I’ve turned to cutting again. I tried to go to a hospital but my family won’t let me. I’m not on any medication and I’m waiting for part 2 of my psych evaluation to figure out what I have and medication to take but I’m just so over this. I love my kids but it’s just not enough anymore and it breaks me to even believe that. 3 under 5 is really getting to me while having no partner to help. I never imagined living past my 18th birthday and yet here I am. Birth control failed me and my bd threatened to kill me if I got an abortion so I listened but fuck idk what to do anymore. The house is a mess I’ve lost 35lbs in 2 months I just want my babies happy and I don’t think I’m cut out for this