13 Pieces of Advice for New Mums You Need to Hear

By

Keshia Sophia Roelofs

Jun 6 2023

·

10 min read

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We all know that motherhood doesn’t come with a manual.

But it can come with support, information, and advice from other women who know what you’re going through—which comes pretty close.

So for all the new mamas and mamas-to-be out there, know that you don’t have to figure out everything on your own.

It’s OK to ask for help.

And it’s OK to be searching the internet for nuggets of wisdom.

To help you on your way, we’ve put together the ultimate list of tips for new and expectant mums, straight from Peanut mamas who have been there.

Ready to take notes? 📝

➡️ Related: 10 Life-Changing Mum Hacks From Peanut Mamas

What is the best advice for a new mum?

Advice for mums-to-be to inspire, support, and remind you that you're not alone—there's an entire community of women speaking your language:

1. “There is NO shame in asking for help”

“When I had my little one, I felt like I needed to just do everything by myself until I nearly passed out from exhaustion. I’ve learned my lesson now and will take help and support when it’s offered!” - Chrissy

2. “All babies cry!”

“It doesn't mean you're doing anything wrong, baby just has a need to be met. They're like little puzzles, you gotta go through all the possible reasons for the tears. Just breathe, sing a song, and go about solving your fun adorable little puzzle” - Carmen

Look, keeping calm when a screaming baby has become your new theme song is easier said than done.

And the frustration when you can’t seem to soothe them (no matter how hard you’re trying to) is very real. 🫠

The best advice for new parents? Take care of your rising stress levels.

Babies cry for all sorts of possible reasons—hunger, overstimulation, colic, to name a few.

Unfortunately, it’s their only way of communicating, but the good news is that Peanut mums have learned plenty of ways to calm a crying baby.

An important one: calming yourself.

Step away when you feel the agitation rising, enlist those support troops if possible, and tap into your lamaze breathing—you’ve got this.

3. “Be kind and patient with yourself"

“I know you’re busy raising a tiny human, but make sure you look out for yourself too. Postnatal depression is common, normal, and it is good to be aware of the signs in case they impact you.” - Hannah

We couldn’t have said it better ourselves.

It’s not uncommon for new mums (even veteran mamas) to experience baby blues—that wild emotional period after baby has arrived. 🥲

But postnatal depression can have a way of sneaking up on you—and on fathers too.

Effecting 1 in 7 women, postnatal depression tends to worsen over time and can last months.

There’s no harm in brushing up on postnatal depression symptoms.

Just as there’s no harm in practicing self-compassion and allowing yourself to recognise the physical, emotional, and mental changes you’ve been through.

You created a whole person mama, be kind to yourself.

4. "Take as many photos as you can"

“It’s a total cliche, but time really does pass by so quickly. They change so rapidly in the newborn stage, so make sure you take photos and treasured keepsakes.”- Jenny

As you adjust to a whole new routine (read: existence), snapping memories may not always be the top of your priorities or even mind.

Especially if you’re contending with night feeds, little sleep, and new mum hyper-vigilance (we see you).

But baby’s milestones gain momentum fast.

Luckily there are great memory books that can help you get into the flow—even when you’re recovering from that 3 am wakeup.

5. “It’s OK to not instantly bond with your baby"

“The first few weeks and months with a newborn are exhausting and super stressful for most. Bonding with your baby happens over time, and that's OK!” - Roz

Not all deep connections are formed immediately.

Research shows that 20% of new parents struggle to feel emotionally attached to their newborns in those first hours.

Bonding builds over months and years of sharing each other’s lives—not in the first few days after birth.

Feelings of anxiety, stress, lack of support, and exhaustion can all get in the way of bonding time.

And rightly so.

But making time for skin-to-skin contact can do wonders for securing that attachment.

And it doesn’t just have to be through breastfeeding.

Things like stroking their back, rocking them to sleep, or even eye contact all add up.

Just give it time.

6. “Don’t buy newborn clothes"

“I bought so many teeny tiny newborn clothes during my pregnancy, was gifted lots at my baby shower, and then even more once my little peanut arrived. Turns out, babies grow super fast, and I didn’t even use a quarter of them!” - Aisha

It might seem like an obvious new mum tip, but babies really do grow fast.

In their first six months, babies can grow up to 1 inch (2.5 centimeters) per month. 🤯

That’s a lot of growth spurts (and jumpsuits) to go through.

Not to mention baby clothing sizes are not exactly one-size-fits-all.

(Our top tip? Get a baby clothes rental subscription from Bundlee. Affordable, space-saving, and sustainable!)

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7. “Use your vacuum!"

“It sounds weird, but someone told me to run the vacuum while the baby sleeps early on so they get used to sleeping through noise. It was the best advice ever because we don’t have to tiptoe around at all.” - Danielle

Going from soothing womb sounds to real-world acoustics can be a little jarring for baby.

Unfortunately, there’s no real indication that we can train all babies to sleep through household sounds—that may depend on their individual sound sensitivity or temperament.

Plus, hearing damage is a very real possibility with young children, and experts recommend you only expose your infant to noises softer than 80 dB (decibels).

But that doesn’t mean household upkeep needs to stay on hiatus (unless you would very much like it to).

White noise has been shown to soothe babies by blocking out other sounds.

One 1990 study of 40 newborns even showed it to help 80% of them fall asleep within five minutes.

But remember, when choosing your white noise machine, stick to ones that produce sounds lower than 85 dB.

And should you venture out to a firework display anytime soon, there’s always baby headphones. 🎧

8. “Don’t get lost in the new baby fog"

“It can be so overwhelming becoming a mama (and the best thing ever, of course!), so it’s really important to take time for yourself. Even if it’s just an uninterrupted bath or being able to eat a meal without juggling a baby.” - Holly

One of the best pieces of advice for new parents has got to be the importance of self-care.

These little acts go a long way towards preventing burnout as you juggle exhaustion, stress, and, for many, low self-esteem.

Your maternal health thrives when you’re nourished, socially supported, mentally eased, and physically rested

Even having the ability to set boundaries as you adjust to your new role as a parent can help improve your emotional health.

So this is your reminder: self-sacrifice and self-neglect are not what it takes to be a successful new mum.

That comes with accepting help, setting boundaries, and taking time to recharge yourself enough to be present for your little one as your full self.

You’ve got the green light!

9. “You don’t always need advice

“I follow the rule that asking and listening to advice doesn’t mean you need to take it. Everyone does things differently, and you know your baby best.” - Fiona

Deep breath.

Becoming a new mum often means never being short of baby advice and parenting tips.

Some of it is welcome, some are unsolicited, and some is enough to have you questioning whether you’re good enough (spoiler alert: you are).

Between doctors, relatives, friends, and strangers online, the advice for new parents is endless.

And let’s not even get started on post-pregnancy beauty standards.

But here’s the thing, it’s not all for you—you get to choose.

Especially if you’re hearing advice from people who know very little about your unique circumstances.

As Fiona says, you know your baby best.

Your greatest tool is your own knowledge—the more you research, the more you can make choices with confidence (and without losing your mind).

10. “Find your people

“Connecting with other women who understand what you’re going through is essential. Don’t ever think you have to do any of this alone. I’ve met so many supportive women through Peanut who I can’t imagine life without.” - Anouschka

There’s strength in numbers.

Seriously.

Studies show that strong social support can lower stress levels and have a positive impact on new parents’ interactions with their infants.

A more recent study even showed that a perceived lack of social support can put first-time parents at higher risk for mental health problems/

And this is most true during the critical early postpartum period when parents are navigating so. Many. Changes.

Finding support groups that speak your language is more than just finding a connection—it’s about reminding you that you’re not alone in your struggle.

We’ve got you.

11. “Everything is a phase

“Good sleep, bad sleep, fighting naps, cranky, fussy, teething, growth spurts, developmental learning curves, etc. Everything is constantly changing and is just a phase.” - Sophie

No doubt, having a baby rocks your world to its foundations.

Throw out everything you thought you knew about adulthood—motherhood is a totally different ballgame.

And just when you think you’ve figured out this level, best believe it changes again.

But that can also be reassuring.

So whether you’re handling 3-month sleep regression or 11-month sleep regression, you can feel safe in the knowledge that this too shall pass.

The same goes for parents of picky eaters.

12. “There are so many different ways of doing things"

“Every baby and every family is different, so find what works best for you, and don’t worry about the rest. Someone somewhere will judge your choices no matter what, so don’t worry about trying to please anyone except your little family unit.” - Bekah

Gentle parenting, crunchy mum philosophy, and countless parenting books — it’s just the tip of the iceberg in the vast ocean of parenting.

It’s enough to have even the most experienced mum overwhelmed.

When you’re new to the game, it’s easy to second-guess every decision you make.

But trust your gut.

No, you won’t have it all figured out, but with a little patience, help (from the right places), and time, you’ll figure out what works best for your family.

And finally, the ultimate piece of advice for mums-to-be:

13. “Relax and trust your instincts"

“You’ve got this.” - Laura

You really do, mama.

And if you’re ready to start implementing some self-care for you and your partner, check out 12 postnatal sex tips from real mums.

Or how about 10 wine-free self-care tips for solo moments?

Remember, you can always tap into the Peanut community for judgment-free advice on the fly.

References

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