How to Be A Good Mother: 9 Top Tips

There’s no such thing as a perfect mom, but these top tips will give you a little bit of guidance on how to be a good mother.
We’ll start by saying this: there’s no such thing as a perfect mother.

Every mama is different, as is every child, and every relationship — and there’s no one way of doing things.

The truth is that every mother (yes, even the ones who look like they know what they’re doing) is making it up as they go along.

So first things first, be kind to yourself.

In fact, research suggests that trying to be the perfect mother can lead to parental burnout and stress.

It can also have a negative effect on your family, your work-life balance, and your career.

OK, so let’s ditch the perfection idea, alright? No one’s perfect.

What about some ideas about how to be a good mother, then?

Well, yes, maybe there are a few things that we could mention here.

These aren’t about living up to the expectations that society or your family may have of you — or even you may have of yourself.

Instead, they’re tools that can help to create a safe and loving home and a happy little peanut.

So, let’s get started by diving into some of the questions that pop up for so many of us.

In this article 📝

What are the qualities of a good mother?

There’s no definite answer to this, and even some of the qualities that are generally useful are likely to be difficult to maintain all the time.

Try to be kind, loving, and patient with your little one.

And when you don’t always get that right, try to be kind, loving, and patient with yourself.

How do I know if I am a good mom?

Asking that question is half the journey, mama!

If you’re able to create a space where you and your little one can love, talk to and learn from each other, you’re doing great.

How can I be a more loving mother?

We all have different love languages, and they can vary depending on who we’re interacting with.

When it comes to your little one, we recommend trying to prioritize physical touch, words of affirmation, and quality time, but it really depends on what feels right for you.

Show your love in whatever way feels natural.

What makes a good mother?

We’ve put together our favorite pieces of advice that make for a good mama.

You can pick and choose from this list according to what feels right for you.

Some might not resonate at all, and some might hit you right in the feels.

Let’s get started.

1. Be gentle with yourself

Being a parent is big. Huge.

And at times, it’s really hard.

There’s no manual, after all.

Know that you’re doing the best you can with the tools you have available.

Watch that internal monologue.

If you feel frustrated, angry, or exhausted (that fatigue is real!), that’s OK.

Try not to be too hard on yourself.

2. Show love

Try to be as physically and emotionally loving to your child as you can.

Let them know they’re loved.

Children who feel loved are more likely to have higher self-esteem, fewer behavioral problems, and perform better at school.

Hug and kiss them, tell them you love them, and be curious about their lives.

Love takes many forms.

3. Listen to your little one

Give your little one their voice: ask questions, be curious, show a vested interest in their ideas and hobbies.

When they speak, pay attention, especially if they’re giving you parenting tips.

These can be tough to hear at times, but no one knows more about what you’re like as a parent than the little peanut you’re parenting!

4. Prioritize quality time

You thought life was busy before you became a mom, but looking back, it was a walk in the park.

Now, just trying to keep your little one clean and fed is a full-time job.

But sometimes it’s okay to put off the dishes or that load of laundry, mama.

Quality time with your child — to play, talk, or do an activity together — is important, too.

5. Let your child be who they are, not who you want them to be

This can be tricky.

While we want to guide our children, we also need to let them be true to who they are.

Try to strike a balance between intervening and giving them the space to flourish.

This is especially important (and harder) as they get older.

6. Try not to compare your experience to others

Again, easier said than done!

Especially because we also need the insight and advice of other mamas to help us figure things out at times.

But be selective about what you take on board.

Trust your intuition.

Only you really know what feels true to you and your little one.

There are no rules that apply to everyone in every situation.

7. Be an example

Your little one is watching and learning from you all the time.

We don’t say this to scare you, and it doesn’t mean you have to be on your best behavior at all times.

Getting sad or angry, or making a mistake, is an opportunity to speak to your little one about difficult emotions.

Handling tough situations well will teach them to do the same.

8. Take care of yourself

It’s not easy, we know, especially when your little one is young, but carving out a bit of time for yourself occasionally is really important.

Prioritize that hot bath, a coffee with a friend, or a well-deserved nap.

You’re not a machine.

You need to be taken care of, too.

9. Ask for help

It’s been said so many times that it might induce an eye-rolling groan: it takes a village to raise a child.

But it does.

Lean on your network.

Your partner or co-parent, sure, but also your immediate and extended family, friends, or online communities like Peanut.

You’re not alone, mama.

How to be a good single mother

Being a single parent is challenging in ways that being a partnered parent isn’t.

The suggestions above still apply, but they can sometimes be harder to achieve if you don’t have extra support on hand.

We’d say that point number two is probably the most important, mama: be gentle with yourself.

You can’t do everything every day.

Some days you might manage to get a load of laundry done.

Some days you might spend some time at the park.

And some days you might be in survival mode, and both your to-do list and quality time will fall by the wayside.

That’s OK.

If you’re wondering how to be a good mother, or a good single mother, you’re already on the right track, mama.

You’re here. You care. You’re trying.

And that — with a good helping of love — is what your little one really needs.

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Mom Burnout: Reasons, Symptoms and Treatments