How to Have a Wet Dream: 5 Science-Backed Tips

Complicated and oh-so-good sex dreams bring a whole new meaning to awakening (and naptime). One minute you’re sleeping soundly, the next, you're swept up in a surprising, sultry fantasy tailor-made to you. 🌶️

They may seem to come out of nowhere, but sex dreams are incredibly common – as in 70% of the population common. Sometimes they’re unnerving (your boss… really??). Other times they’re a window into a harmless fantasy with a familiar face (celebrity crushes included).

If you’ve been fortunate enough to wake from a welcome rendevous that ticks all your deepest fantasies, you may even feel the benefits of a hot and steamy tryst. Lowered stress, a sense of calm, a little boost of self-esteem – no wonder you’re asking how to have a sex dream…

Short of a sexual dream schedule, we’re exploring the ins and outs of sex dreams to help you encourage some well-needed saucy zzzs. Put that snooze button on pause because we've got five tips on how to have sexual dreams any day of the week.

In this article: 📝

What are sexual dreams?

To this day, dreams and their origins continue to confuse, scare and delight us. Sometimes all in one night!

While many compelling theories have popped up about why we dream and what our dreams might mean, we just don’t know for sure. Scientists put it down to a type of cognitive functioning. Your brain is simply processing imagery and memories – which explains why familiar faces tend to crop up in our most vivid dreams.

It also explains why dreams tend to be the most memorable when we’re experiencing high stress or anxiety. There’s a lot for our brain to process.

One thing we do know is that sexual dreams are popular. Research shows that sex dreams account for 8% of reported adults dreams. But exactly why we have dreams that leave us hot and heavy, well, that’s up for debate.

What do sexual dreams indicate?

From Freudian ideas of repressed desires to coping with trauma, sex dream theories are diverse and plentiful. The reason being sex dreams are tantalizing.

Dream interpretation has been around for a long time in spiritual, psychoanalytical, and online realms. Each community has its own take on the significance of sexual dreams, with the most common suggestions being:

• They express hidden fantasies
• They are a safe space to play out prohibited or uncertain scenarios
• They are a way of processing trauma
• They reveal who we admire in terms of qualities or traits
• They are a window into potential insecurities or doubts in our relationships
• They reveal a desire to connect

It seems sex dreams are far more about revealing hidden parts of yourself and less about discovering a secret crush (even in fantasy, sex can be complicated). But sex dreams are also entirely subjective, and depending on who makes a guest appearance, these dreams can be exciting or deeply uncomfortable.

The best way to begin understanding the steamy contents is by looking at the context: how you feel waking up is often more revealing than the dream itself.

How do sex dreams feel so good?

Did you know it’s possible to have orgasms in your sleep? 😲

A 1986 study revealed that 37% of women in their sample group had experienced a “nocturnal orgasm”. And, of course, we’re all familiar with wet dreams.

So what’s happening? There’s not a whole lot of research, but the scientific theory goes that during REM, there’s an increase in genital arousal to keep blood and oxygen flowing to the tissue there.

Add to that the vividness of the imagery, your body’s relaxed state, and an inhibited mind, and you have all the ingredients for an easy climax. 🔥

And research shows that when it comes to nighttime fantasies with a happy ending, lucid dreams are best. This brings us to the next question…

How to have a wet lucid dream

Lucid dreams are dreams where you know that you’re having them. You get to walk around in your dreamland, aware that this is where you are.

As for wet dreams? Their scientific name is nocturnal emission, and they basically boil down to having an orgasm in your sleep due to a dream.

You don’t have to masturbate to have a wet dream, and contrary to pop culture, women are also totally capable of having them too. 🎉

A 2020 study shed some light on how we may gain more control of our dreams. According to this research, the most effective methods for inducing lucid dreams are:

Mnemonic induction of lucid dreams (MILD)

This involves waking up after five hours of sleep and then telling yourself that you are going to remember your dream before heading back to sleep. Here’s the phrase to use: “The next time I’m dreaming, I will remember that I’m dreaming”.

You then imagine yourself in a lucid dream before (hopefully) heading into one.

Senses initiated lucid dream (SSILD)

Like MILD, SSILD requires that you wake up after five hours of sleep and then focus on the stimuli in your environment – the sights, sounds, and touch – for about twenty seconds and go back to sleep. The study also looked into combining MILD and SSILD, but this hybrid method showed no benefit over using one method alone, so what you waiting for, give it a go!

There are some other bits of research that might help us influence or understand our sexual dreams. According to this study, women are more likely to report erotic dreams with their partner, while men are more likely to report an erotic dream with someone other than their partner, often an acquaintance.

Perhaps not surprisingly, regardless of gender, those that were more satisfied in their relationships were more likely to dream of sex with their current partner. This is called the continuity hypothesis of dreaming, where dreaming reflects what’s happening in your waking life.

So with all that in mind, here’s the closest we can possibly get to a how-to guide on sexual dreams.

How to have sex dreams

Disclaimer: These are all suggestions to get your juices flowing. There is no precise instruction on how to induce sex dreams. The land of dreams is a mysterious one.

1. Nurture your relationship: If the continuity theory is correct, our dreams reflect our waking life. If you want to have a sexy dream about your partner, it may help to spice things up in the bedroom. 🌶
2. Warm up to it: Fantasizing, exploring your body, using a virbrator, or even wearing something that makes you feel sexy may all put you in the mood for your dream date. And even if you don’t have the sexual dream you had hoped for, you’ll have a lot of fun trying.
3. Try the MILD or SSILD techniques of lucid dreaming: You may just become a master of your own dream body. 🎓
4. Adjust your sleeping position: Okay, the evidence is not too solid on this one, but if you want to, give it a go. This study suggests that sleeping on your stomach (in what is called the prone position) might increase the likelihood of R-rated dreams Again, we’re taking this with a pinch of salt, but hey, it can’t hurt to try!
5. Keep a dream journal: This can make your dreams easier to remember and give you insight into what they might mean for you. 📚

Nothing for it but to enjoy the process. 🛌

At the very least, you get to experience a little more shuteye and a lot more self-love. Practice makes perfect, right?