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How To Have Sexual Dreams: 5 Tips

last year5 min read
Last updated: Jan 23 2023

Sadly, if you’re looking for fool-proof methods on how to have sexual dreams, you may find yourself on a never-ending quest. But we’ve done the legwork to find our top five tips on how to have sexual dreams. Night night!

How To Have Sexual Dreams

In this article: 📝

  • What are sexual dreams?
  • How to have a wet lucid dream
  • How to have more sexual dreams

What are sexual dreams?

To this day, dreams and their origins continue to confuse (and scare and delight) us.

While many compelling theories have popped up about why we dream and what our dreams might mean, we just don’t know for sure.

One thing we do know is that sexual dreams are popular.

According to the Sleep Foundation, more than 70% of people report having sex dreams.

But exactly why we have dreams that leave us hot and heavy, well, that’s up for debate.

So how can you have sexual dreams yourself?

While there’s no direct route, there are some avenues that you might want to try.

We’ll start by having a look at lucid dreams.

How to have a wet lucid dream

Lucid dreams are dreams where you know that you’re having them.

You get to walk around in your dreamland, aware that this is where you are.

Wet dreams? Well, their scientific name is nocturnal emission, and they basically boil down to having an orgasm in your sleep due to a dream.

You don’t have to masturbate to have a wet dream. And contrary to pop culture, women are also totally capable of having them too.

A 2020 study shed some light on how we may gain more control of our dreams.

According to this research, the most effective methods for inducing lucid dreams are:

Mnemonic induction of lucid dreams (MILD)

This involves waking up after five hours of sleep and then telling yourself that you are going to remember your dream before heading back to sleep.

Here’s the phrase to use: “The next time I’m dreaming, I will remember that I’m dreaming”.

You then imagine yourself in a lucid dream before (hopefully) heading into one.

Senses initiated lucid dream (SSILD)

Like MILD, SSILD requires that you wake up after five hours of sleep and then focus on the stimuli in your environment—the sights, sounds, and touch—for about twenty seconds and go back to sleep.

There are some other bits of research that might help us influence or understand our sexual dreams.

According to this study, women are more likely to report erotic dreams with their partner, while men are more likely to report an erotic dream with someone other than their partner, often an acquaintance.

Perhaps not surprisingly, regardless of gender, those that were more satisfied in their relationships were more likely to dream of sex with their current partner.

This is called the continuity hypothesis of dreaming, where dreaming reflects what’s happening in your waking life.

So with all that in mind, here’s the closest we can possibly get to a how-to guide on sexual dreams.

How to have more sexual dreams

Disclaimer: consider these suggestions rather than precise instructions.

The land of dreams is a mysterious one.

  1. Nurture your relationship. If the continuity theory is correct, our dreams reflect our waking life. If you want to have a sexy dream about your partner, it may help to have more sex in real life.
  2. Warm up to it. Fantasizing, exploring your body, and wearing something that makes you feel sexy may all put you in the mood for your dream date. And even if you don’t have the sexual dream you had hoped for, you’ll have a lot of fun trying.
  3. Try the MILD or SSILD techniques of lucid dreaming. You may just become a master — you never know!
  4. Adjust your sleeping position. Okay, the evidence is not too solid on this one, but if you want to, give it a go. This study suggests that sleeping on your stomach (in what is called the prone position) might increase the likelihood of R-rated dreams.
  5. Keep a dream journal. This can make your dreams easier to remember and give you insight into what they might mean for you.


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