Orgasms After Menopause: All You Need to Know

Orgasms After Menopause: All You Need to Know

Let’s answer one question straight off: yes, a woman can have orgasms after menopause. In fact, women can have aaaah-mazing sex after menopause.
You might have to do a few things differently and be a wee bit more patient, but it’s certainly worth the effort!

Let’s take a look at some of the changes to your sexuality that menopause can cause, and how to balance these out when it comes to your sex life.

In this article: 📝

  • How does menopause affect sexuality?
  • Sexuality after menopause
  • Enjoying sex after menopause
  • How can women orgasm after menopause?
  • A final word on menopause and orgasms

How does menopause affect sexuality?

You’re officially in menopause once you haven’t had a period for a full year. By this point, you’ve probably noticed quite a few changes that have been happening to your body already. Hot flashes, insomnia, and irregular periods are all common features of the transitional time leading up to menopause, known as perimenopause.

The main culprit behind these shifts is a dramatic drop in your estrogen, the hormone that plays such an important role in women’s sexual and reproductive development.

But it’s not just physical changes. This drop in estrogen can seriously affect your sexuality after menopause too.

Here are some things you may be going through:

Sexuality after menopause

Drop in libido

The drop in estrogen caused by menopause can have an impact on your libido. During perimenopause and menopause, you might find that you’re just not in the mood for sex as much as you used to be.

Less elasticity in the vagina

The lining of your vagina can get thinner, so that its walls become less elastic, and it loses some of its natural lubrication. These changes can make your vagina feel dry or itchy, or create a burning sensation that can make penetrative sex uncomfortable or painful.

Emotional changes

Your desire for sex in menopause can also be affected by other shifts that aren’t directly related to your libido or vagina, such as feeling moodier, or battling anxiety, depression or fatigue.

These experiences are all totally normal. But, since having great (and orgasmic) sex usually depends on being in the mood for it and not experiencing discomfort or pain during sex, does this mean that you’ll never have another orgasm after menopause?

Absolutely not, we promise!

It just means that it can take a little longer and you might need to approach sex in a slightly different way.

Enjoying sex after menopause

First of all, keep in mind that having less sex, or different kinds of sex, at this point in your life is natural. Your experience of sex is changing and maturing, but that isn’t necessarily a bad thing. What matters is that you’re finding pleasure in ways that feel right for you.

[As you explore your menopausal and postmenopausal sex life, use the opportunity to look into different and even new sexual experiences. Touching, rubbing, fondling, oral sex and mutual masturbation can be just as intimate and pleasurable as sex, and can still help to release the incredible hormones that give sex its good name. ](

That being said, if you’re trying all of these and still battling to have orgasms after menopause, we get that that can feel frustrating.

Some of the following tips and tricks might help.

How can women orgasm after menopause?

OK, let’s get down to some practical advice.

1. Touch, kiss, cuddle

Foreplay matters. If you feel like your libido has taken a knock, take your time before having sex. Maybe you and your partner could take turns giving each other sensual massages, or you could have a bath together. Anything that helps you feel close, relaxed and connected is a good option here.

2. Lube up

Using lube during sex can help with the dryness you might be experiencing in your vagina. Water-based and silicone-based lubricants are best, and they should go both inside your vagina and on your partner’s penis, fingers, or any toys you use.

Don’t use silicone-based lubricants with silicone toys as they can break down the toys, and try to avoid flavored or scented lubes as they might irritate your vagina.

3. Give your clitoris more attention

For many women, stimulating the clitoris is an important part of having an orgasm. A 2016 study found that 64% of women had an orgasm by stimulating both the vagina and the clitoris.

This doesn’t change just because you go through menopause, so now is definitely not the time to neglect your clit. Some lube is probably useful here too, as is oral sex, which offers stimulation and lubrication all rolled into one. Using vibrators on your clit can also help you to feel more sensitive and wet.

4. Try and relax

It’s also important to remember that the Big O isn’t necessarily the point of sex. You can still experience sexual pleasure without reaching climax. In fact, enjoying the other aspects of sex and taking some of the pressure off having an orgasm might help you get there!

5. Speak to your partner

When it comes to sex, communication is always important. Your partner needs to know what you want and need, what works and what doesn’t. This is even more critical if you’re not feeling very aroused or worried about any kind of pain or discomfort.

Let your partner know how you’re feeling and talk through things. There might be some compromises that could help: maybe oral sex feels better than penetrative sex, or there are toys, positions, and techniques you could introduce to help you feel sexy, turned on and pleasured.

Your partner may also be experiencing changes of their own and be worried about how you’re feeling. Adopting a no-holds-barred approach to conversations about sex can help you both stay more emotionally connected and intimate.

6. Check the side-effects of any medications you are on

Some medication, especially for conditions like diabetes, kidney or heart disease, and multiple sclerosis, can also affect your sex drive. But don’t come off any important medication before speaking to your doctor first. Chat to them about your options. There might be alternatives that you can take instead.

7. Watch your health

Ordinary things, like how well you eat and sleep, how much alcohol you drink, how much exercise you get, and how you manage your stress levels, can have a major impact on your sex drive. Taking good care of yourself can give your libido a boost, too.

A final word on menopause and orgasms

Orgasms after menopause are definitely in reach. You just need to be a little more patient and experimental in order to find them. Take things slowly, stay open and relaxed with your partner, and remember to play, and you’ll likely find what you’re looking for. If you used to squirt, too, you may find that you’re not able to at this stage. But that doesn’t have to mean it’s any less enjoyable for you.

Curious for more info on menopause? Why not check some of these Peanut resources out too?

What Happens During Menopause?
How to Deal With Menopause
When Does Menopause Start?
What are the Signs Perimenopause is Ending?
How Long Does Menopause Last?
Unusual Menopause Symptoms You Might Not Know
A Short Guide to Sex After Menopause
What are the 34 Symptoms of Menopause?
Menopause and Sexless Marriage: Is There a Link?
Nipple Orgasm: How and Why
Can You Get Pregnant After Menopause?

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