Expecting a baby and still want to go out on dates? Well, why not? Pregnant dating when you’re single can be fun. And a welcome distraction from pondering which breast pump to buy.
Dating while pregnant
Let’s face it. If you mention dating while pregnant, you may see a few raised eyebrows from friends and family. There are often expectations that you’ll spend your pregnancy tucked in with a mug of cocoa and a parenting manual. But if that’s not your style, don’t feel under pressure to go along with it.
You might simply be looking for fun and companionship before your baby’s born, or you might be open to a long-term romance. Wherever you’re at, here are our seven top tips to help make pregnant dating a great experience.
1. Think about what you want to get out of pregnant dating.
Think about what you want to get out of pregnant dating in advance. This can help save on heartache and weed out some ahem unsuitable candidates.
Are you seeking someone to share a fun day out with? Maybe to that new coffee shop or to hit the beach? Or maybe you want a sexy summer fling before the days of diapers and strollers begin. Or it could be that you haven’t ruled out a lasting relationship.
Whatever your priorities, let them shape your approach to dating when pregnant from the start.
2. Tell your date about the baby – when you’re ready.
It’s important that you’re honest about your pregnancy with dates, but it’s up to you to decide when to tell them. It could be before your first date or a couple of dates in when you feel more comfortable with the person.
If you’re designing an online dating profile, you might want to mention your pregnancy there. That way, you can feel more confident that people who get in touch are relaxed about the situation. (But beware pregnancy fetishists. Yep, unfortunately, they do exist.)
Early in your pregnancy, you may not feel you need to mention the baby to casual dates — though it might explain those virgin mojitos you’re drinking. But later on, when your bump is noticeable, you may prefer to explain to your date before you meet.
3. Choose a pregnancy-friendly dating spot.
Arrange for you and your date to meet somewhere you and your baby bump will feel at home — and at a time that works for you. If you’d rather be curled up in bed at 9 pm, maybe avoid a nightclub.
Choose a safe environment with plenty of alcohol-free beverage options. That might mean meeting for brunch rather than at a bar, for example. Make sure the foods on offer are safe for you during pregnancy too.
And of course, needless to say, having a bathroom nearby is a must. Aisle seat at the movie theater anyone?
4. Let a friend know where you are.
Your personal safety is a top priority when dating, whether you’re expecting or not. But with pregnant dating, you’ve got your little one to think about too.
When you’re meeting someone new, or someone you don’t know very well, it’s smart to tell a friend where you’re going to be. And to message them when you’re home safe.
5. Have sex if you feel like it (and don’t if you don’t).
Hormones can send your sex drive into overload during pregnancy. So if you want to enjoy sex with a date, go for it!
Just remember protection is still important. Is it possible to get pregnant when you are already pregnant? Yep! Though extremely rare, it is technically possible (it’s a phenomenon known as superfetation).
But the main reason to use protection if you’re having sex while pregnant is to prevent STIs. These can be harmful to you and your baby.
Also, bear in mind that having sex (or not) is one hundred percent your decision. If a date is pressuring you and you’re uncomfortable, it’s time to remove yourself from the situation.
6. Make your well-being a priority.
Pregnant dating should be fun and make you feel good. If it isn’t and it doesn’t, don’t feel you have to persevere with it.
Thanks to hormonal changes, emotions can run high during pregnancy. And this may be a difficult thing to deal with without adding the trials and tribulations of dating.
If pregnant dating isn’t working out, you could focus on other relationships in your life that make you feel loved and cared for. That might mean spending time with family and friends or meeting other mamas-to-be who understand what you’re going through.
7. Have fun!
You might find dating while pregnant can actually take the pressure off a little. Knowing there’s the deadline of your due date can help you simply embrace the moment.
After all, dating can be a great opportunity to meet new people and see new places — before the sleepless nights begin.
Being pregnant might also let you enjoy spending time with a date without worrying if you have a future together. After all, there’s no hurry to meet your soulmate when the love of your life is about to be born.
One last thing about pregnant dating…
It’s your decision.
During your pregnancy, if you want to go out on dates and meet new people, that’s great. If you want to stay in under the comforter with a chamomile tea, that’s great too.
Does pregnancy affect your relationships with the people you date? Of course, because it’s a part of you. You and the baby come as a package now.
But it’s up to you whether you want to keep dating as a fun phase during your pregnancy. Or whether you’re looking for someone you might like to have around once the baby is born.
Just look after yourself (and bump), be safe, and enjoy.