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A Short Guide to Sex After Menopause

last month8 min read
Last updated: Jan 20 2023

While some women will go through menopause with little more than some slight inconvenience, others will find themselves with the “classic” menopausal symptoms. Yep – think hot flashes, night sweats, and more. But what about sex after menopause?

Sex After Menopause

Sex after menopause might be fantastic, it might be pretty similar to before, or it might be affected by all kinds of symptoms, such as bladder control issues, a loss of self-confidence, poor sleep, change in sexuality (what you’re attracted to), and stress or anxiety related to the transition.

Everybody is different.











And if you’re wondering “do women enjoy sex after menopause?” the answer will, of course, vary depending on who you ask.

But with the right information about sex after menopause, we hope everyone will continue to enjoy a loving and intimate sex life.

So what’d good to know about having sex after menopause? Here’s our quick guide.

In this article: 📝

  • What happens to a woman sexually after menopause?
  • Why does sex hurt after menopause?
  • Does sex drive return after menopause?
  • Can a woman have an orgasm after menopause?
  • How do you pleasure a woman after menopause?
  • Sex after menopause tips
  • What to know about sex after 60
  • At what age does a woman stop being sexually active?
  • At what age does a man stop being sexually active?

What happens to a woman sexually after menopause?

Levels of the hormones estrogen and progesterone are lower after menopause.

And it’s this reduction of hormones that causes your periods to stop, after all.

But it can also lead you to feel less aroused, have reduced sensitivity, and possibly mean you’ll find it harder to reach orgasm.

Why does sex hurt after menopause?

So, why is sex painful after menopause in some cases?

Low estrogen means a reduced blood supply to the vagina and pelvic area.

This in turn can cause vaginal dryness.

The vaginal tissues can also lose their elasticity, meaning sex can feel uncomfortable and cause irritation.

Does sex drive return after menopause?

With the easing of symptoms (often within 3-4 years of menopause), some women may find their sex drive after menopause increasing again.

But you shouldn’t feel any pressure if this doesn’t happen naturally, because there are many factors that can affect your sex drive.

Can a woman have an orgasm after menopause?

Yes, although it can be more difficult, and may take more time and effort to reach climax. Some women may find it easier to orgasm after menopause from clitoral stimulation rather than vaginal – so take some time to find out what feels best for you. Again, everyone is different.

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How do you pleasure a woman after menopause?

Accepting that menopause can have a major impact on a woman’s physical preferences and mental attitude towards sex is important.

Switching up the routine, trying new things together, and following her lead will mean it’s more likely to be a pleasurable experience for everyone.

Sex after menopause tips

Painful sex after menopause doesn’t just have to be something you just put up with.

These could well be the best years of your (sex) life! Finding out how to enjoy sex after menopause may be an interesting journey, but here are some ideas to try:

  • Water-based lubricants can help tackle dryness
  • Focus on foreplay and/or oral sex before, or instead of penetration, to increase the likelihood of climax
  • Try new positions where you can control the depth of penetration
  • Experiment with new ways to arouse each other — e.g. toys, massage, erotica (our Peanut menopause community love the KURVE for hitting all the right spots!)
  • Do daily pelvic floor exercises
  • Use safe vaginal moisturizers daily and before intercourse

    See a counselor to discuss your feelings and concerns if you think it might help
  • Try some stress relief activities, such as meditation, yoga, or tai chi
  • Try to stay as healthy as possible, with a good diet and regular exercise.

What to know about sex after 60

Sex after 60 — we might not talk about it much, but it’s most certainly a thing.

In America, 40% of all people between the ages of 65 and 80 are sexually active.

Is that number reassuringly high or depressingly low?

It depends on how you look at it.

Intimacy doesn’t become less important as you grow older.

But our needs evolve.

Often older adults place more emphasis on the intimacy and affection associated with sex than on intercourse itself.

Many people over 60 decide they’re ready to stop having sex, and that’s a personal decision.

Before you make your decision, it’s worth looking at some of the health benefits of sex, as well as some treatment for issues — like vaginal dryness or erectile dysfunction — that might be impacting your sex life.

Can a 60-year-old woman be sexually active?

That’s a resounding YES.

At 60, sexual activity is affected by certain factors.

These are three main ones:

Availability of a partner

Sadly, many older adults lose their sexual partners due to divorce or death.

And in it’s worth noting that, in the United States, women live about five years longer than men, which impacts this.

Physical health

Our physical health affects whether we are able to have sex.

Health issues can range from diabetes to erectile dysfunction to arthritis.

(The good news is there are now medicines to help many of these health concerns.)

Psychological and emotional well-being

There is a link between sexual activity and happiness.
And a low mood or depression can lead to reduced sexual desire.

How often do 60-year-old couples make love?

As we said, 40% of all Americans over 60 are having sex.

But that number actually increases for those who are in relationships.

According to the research, 54% of couples over 60 are still sexually active.

As for the frequency of sex after 60, that number is so variable, no matter what age you are.

There is no normal here.

From once a day to once a year, whatever works for you and your partner is great.

At what age does a woman stop being sexually active?

There is no one answer to this question, but certain factors affect women’s libido and enjoyment of sex.

One of these is menopause and the associated menopausal symptoms.

It’s common for menopausal women to experience a range of vaginal and urinary tract issues.

Symptoms like pain during sex and bladder control issues can make sex uncomfortable.

But there are treatments that can help.

So if you’re experiencing any of these symptoms, it’s definitely worth speaking to your healthcare professional.

One reason to try to keep sex in your life, if possible, is that it offers some health benefits.

Some of these are improved health, better mental functioning, less genital dryness, and a greater sense of happiness.

So if you think you’d like to keep having sex, speak with your doctor or a therapist.

There is help available!

At what age does a man stop being sexually active?

Like with women, there’s no age or deadline when men suddenly stop wanting or having sex.

It’s completely dependent on the individual and his body.

Again, your overall health greatly influences how sexually active you are.

Other specific health concerns might affect your ability to have sex.

Erectile dysfunction (ED) is one of the main ones.

It’s experienced by 39% of men between 50 and 90 years old and the likelihood increases with age.

These days there are numerous ways to treat ED.

If talking to a doctor feels too much, chatting with a counselor can be a good place to start.

It’s likely that after menopause, you’ll have less sex than in your 30s.

Our bodies change, and so do our needs and wants.

Being adaptable and open to changing the way you have sex can be a game-changer.

A good sex life isn’t just about intercourse.

All the more so as you get older.

Intimacy, sensual touching, and sharing fantasies are all sexual experiences that can be as (or more) enjoyable than penetrative sex.

And sex toys can be an amazing addition to your sex life.

If you’ve never used sex toys before, a good sex toy shop can be a great place to peruse options and get advice from a sales person.

It can feel complicated to navigate the changes in our bodies and lives as we grow older.

It’s key to keep communicating with your partner.

Let them know the changes that you’re experiencing and your new needs.

It might feel awkward but push through.

It’ll be worth it. ❤️

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