It’s something every happily married woman dreads – signs your husband isn’t in love with you. With up to half of all marriages in the US ending in divorce, this sadly happens more often than we’d like.
Many factors can contribute to the ‘spark going out’ in a marriage. You may both be overwhelmed with work, your kids may be taking up all your time, or you may have just simply grown apart. In some marriages, tragic circumstances shift the balance – for example, the loss of a child.
If you’re looking for signs your husband doesn’t love you, you need to make a choice. Remember that it’s rarely ever one person’s fault. Your husband may have his own issues, or you may both need to put more effort into the relationship. If it’s a sinking ship, then it may be time to make a decision that works out for the both of you.
In this article: 📝
- Does my husband love me?
- Is it normal for a husband to not show affection?
- What are the signs of a loveless marriage?
- What do I do if my husband doesn’t love me?
Does my husband love me?
Ultimately, nobody can tell you this except your husband. While the signs of your husband no longer loving you may include lack of communication, these could also be negative personality traits.
What is a disrespectful husband?
In some cases, for example, you may have a disrespectful husband. Rather than a sudden change in behavior, these may be traits that were not immediately obvious when you first got together. Rather than jumping to the ‘my husband doesn’t love me anymore’ conclusion, you may wish to explore this further.
Look back to the beginning of your relationship. Did you spot any of these red flags?
- He failed to acknowledge you in front of his friends or introduce you to friends and family
- He made offensive jokes about other women
- He shirked his responsibilities (which may manifest later in life as poor parenting, for example)
- He was uncommunicative (playing hard to get, or simply dismissive?).
While some of these may have seemed forgivable, even charming, at the beginning of your relationship, they could have been precursors for a disrespectful husband.
On the other hand, sudden changes in behavior may suggest your marriage is heading in the wrong direction.
Is it normal for a husband to not show affection?
Lack of affection, particularly a new lack of affection, is one of the first tell-tale signs of a failing marriage. Perhaps you married a man who was not known for being tactile – but there’s more than one way to show affection.
If he’s not listening to you when you tell him about your day, if he’s no longer sending texts to check in, or he doesn’t kiss you goodnight – he may have fallen out of love.
Similarly, he may have a complete disregard for spending any time together. Whereas he may have suggested socializing together before, he may be more interested in his own alone time, or cease to check with you before he makes plans.
What are the signs of a loveless marriage?
You may be thinking “my husband doesn’t love me”, but before you go any further, ask yourself if you’re exhibiting the same behavior that he is. Sometimes, the end of a marriage doesn’t need to be catastrophic – you could just drift apart with time as your life circumstances change.
A loveless marriage could be a simple lack of interest, or it could be driven by emotion. For example:
You’re fighting all the time
Those little things he used to do that you thought were sweet are now driving you crazy. Are you constantly arguing over bad habits such as lateness?
You’re not fighting anymore
Arguments between married couples are totally normal. In fact, they may even be a sign of passion in a relationship. If you simply don’t have the energy to argue anymore, you may have given up the passion to fight.
You’re fantasizing about other people
This might not be something you’re sharing with one another, but if you’re thinking about spending time with other people – either platonic friendships or sexual relationships – then your partner may not be your #1 priority anymore.
You’re not telling each other how you feel
A lot of people tend to assume the end of the relationship is when the sex dies, but this is only part of a relationship. Love is made up of many complicated layers, from passionate lust to longstanding commitment.
It’s one thing for the sex to die down, but if the two of you cannot communicate why – or indeed, why you no longer want to spend time with each other, then you may have grown apart.
What do I do if my husband doesn’t love me?
If you think your husband doesn’t love you anymore, ask yourself if you really love him. Sadly, for some couples, the stars misalign. One partner may still be devoted while another may have checked out a long time ago.
But if you’re both feeling the same way, it may be a difficult issue to confront, but it could be better for both of you. The first thing you should do is talk about it.
Do you want to fight or flight?
Once you’ve made time to have that conversation, it’s time to decide if you think the marriage is worth saving. In many cases, couples simply need the jeopardy – when they’re apart, they realize what they’re really losing and commit to doing better in the future.
In other cases, couples realize they can grow without each other. If a married couple truly are incompatible, then they may even thank one another for ‘setting the other free.’
When it’s right to get out
Getting out of a marriage will be one of the hardest things you ever do, but you need to think of yourself. If yours is a toxic relationship, for example, if he is abusive, then it’s time to leave.
Take comfort in friends and make living arrangements for you or the kids. You don’t always need extreme circumstances either – sometimes, you may just need a friend to look you dead in the face and tell you your husband doesn’t love you anymore. You are worth more than waiting around to find out.