Mamas who have suffered loss?

My blessings go out to you. Me and my husband lost our first (son) 12/27/19 at 18 weeks+. He was vaginally delivered and did not live past 1 hr. We have been blessed we are now expecting a girl 1/26/21. I’m currently nearing 32 weeks. I’m still not over the list of our list. I expect my delivery to be very emotional for everyone. Wishing you all the best.

I fully understand your anxiety. My husband and I lost two babies. Both 6-7 weeks. 2018 and 2019. Were 19 weeks today with our son. We both had sooo much anxiety the first trimester that we couldn’t even enjoy it. We are getting more excited but we still get nervous for every dr appt.

I understand how you feel. With me, i had anxiety with the first 3 pregnancies. I ended up losing all 3. Im 13 weeks now, and have basically given it all to God. (Yes, i understand not all are religious). I havent felt nervous or anything like that, still not like, jumping up and down excited, but excited to a degree. If that makes any sense lol. Just keep yourself busy, pick up a hobby that you love. For me, its coloring or being creative. I just helped my mom finish a scrap book for a christmas present, and i color almost every day lol.

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I mean i guess i do get nervous at some of my appointments or when they post lab work when i have no idea what it means. That annoys me, but i mean, i guess its whatever lol

I feel you dear! I am 4w3d with my fourth baby I lost 3 babies all under 7 weeks me and hubby have endured so much pain. We are so excited now but still a bit nervous. I’m religious it’s helped me out to find comfort also. In Jesus name this baby will be strong because god gave me a miracle baby after 6 months of trying and not being able to til now 🥰

We had a missed miscarriage (found out at 10 weeks with our first). Currently 38 weeks pregnant with rainbow. I was so anxious probably till I hit the 17 week mark when I had a reassurance scan. I just had to tell myself I had no real control over the outcome, all I could do was try to stay as calm as possible and focus on all the things I could control: eating really well, staying hydrated and exercising. This helped to some degree and the anxiety was at bay at the back of my mind rather than overtaking me all the time. What I would say is I thought that once I hit the 20 week mark all fears of losing the baby would be gone. In actual fact for me the anxiety got worse, once I started to feel her moving I started to connect with her more. I look back now and I actually think the first 13 weeks were easier for me then the rest. Even now I sit here and worry that something will go wrong and she might just stop moving. I just try really hard to focus on the things I can control. Sending strength as it is hard x

Hey gentle congratulations to you and your husband. I lost my first baby last year 39 weeks +4. I completely understand the anxiety that you going through. We had our rainbow baby this year in July. Me and my husband got through it by being kind to one another and sticking to our promise to always speak about how we were feeling. Our care team too great care of us also ❤️❤️ xx

I lost 3 back to back 2016 2017 she lived for a hour thats the one that hurts the most and in 2018 I just prayed and took it easy stressed as less as possible i just had my baby 3 weeks ago

Hi. That's great they have said all looking ok so far. I lost my first baby at 8 weeks after trying for 3 years then had my beautiful baby boy who is nearly 3! I then lost 2 more since having him. The best advice I have is to try and enjoy every moment. It is so hard to enjoy a pregnancy after a loss. In the early stages just try to avoid stressful situations and your mind wandering to the worst case scenario. Maybe try relaxation techniques just to keep yourself strong for that little bubba. As hard as it is you need to accept or embrace the fear as it will not go at least until you are much further along. And lean on those closest husband, parent, friend whoever you need. Happy to chat anytime if you need to feel free to message 😊 good luck and take care of yourself x

It's so hard to be positive and without stress when you've had a loss. I need help too, any tips on how to get through the next few weeks to a more "safe" time. I miscarried last time at 5+4, I'm 7weeks now and had 2 early scans already one for reassurance and one because I bled. Booked one for every other week now just so it gives me some peace of mind. Have you got a second Scan booked? Or waiting for NHS one?

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The doctors office has my first scan for 11 weeks (mid Dec). But I will most likely get another scan at ultrasound place within the next couple weeks. I like to have reassurance and peace of mine. I completely understand.

Totally understand. I’ve lost 3 and I am currently 33 weeks. It was terrifying in the beginning and it still scares me. I have been listening to positive meditation on YouTube which has helped me. It helps that I’ve joined a new company which I work from home and have an amazing team which support me. And have an amazing support system at home. The fear is always there but it gets easier

I totally get how ur feeling and how hard it is not to stress about something going wrong, we had two miscarriages and now on our third pregnancy, currently almost 33 weeks 🥰, we were so nervous throughout the early stages and would just be open about how we were feeling, even with all the signs looking good for this one, the morning sickness, etc we still had it in the back of our minds that it might not work out as our first miscarriage was a missed one, but once we saw the heartbeat at the first scan at 12 weeks we were relived that everything was looking good 😌, as we got further along we got more relaxed and definitely once I could feel movement daily that has helped, I am enjoying pregnancy and can’t wait to meet my little girl but I don’t feel I can truly relax until I’m holding her safe in my arms

I’ve lost 4 and am currently 6w4d. First ultrasound tomorrow! The anxiety is crippling sometimes. With my ultrasound tomorrow I’ve been a wreck all day. Didn’t get anything crossed off my list. Just trying to take it day by day.

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Love it!♥️

I’ve had 5 losses over the last few years, I’m now 39 weeks pregnant & being induced next Sunday if our boy doesn’t arrive on his own before then - take it day by day. Some people get to a certain point & then relax, I’ve been anxious the whole way through & still wake up having horrible dreams about the worst happening. Everybody deals with losses in different ways & I think you’re best to just focus on your rainbow baby & each little hurdle you cross together to get you through your time - don’t put pressure on yourself to be a glowing, non-anxious pregnant woman, just do what you have to do to get through & once your baby is in your arms if your anxiety hasn’t already gone by then I’m sure it will!! Good luck & congratulations xx

Hello, I lost my first 2 and am now pregnant with my 3rd. I am 28 weeks and still anxious. I can say whatever is going to happen is going to happen whether you want to or not. Everytjing happens for a reason. Try not to stress about it because its not good for the baby and just continue to go day by day taking it one step at a time. If you ever feel like something is off don't feel afraid to go get it checked out even if it's nothing, to put your mind at ease. Its ok to be a little nervous because of what you have previously went through, but just continue to know your baby is doing fine with a good heartbeat and you will make it through this. Once your baby is here you will be the happiest women alive. I get through it by constantly asking questions and the fact that my baby will not stop kicking me and flipping haha. Good luck mama and I hope that you have a healthy baby at the end

Take every day as it comes, I lost my first baby as a missed miscarriage, my second at 14 and 4 and then my third was thankfully my beautiful boy who arrived safely 🤍 just because it’s happened before doesn’t mean it will happen again, if all looks good at this stage that’s a great great start my friend works in a scan place and she says once there’s a healthy heartbeat at 6 weeks the chances of anything changing drop significantly. Just try and keep the faith I understand how hard it is xxxxxxxx

Also the fear never went away I lost another baby this year early on and then fell pregnant again with this baby (20+4 now) and got an early scan again at 8 weeks to check on this one and like I said above the healthy early scan is good reassurance. The anxiety stays with me this time but gets easier every week that passes and every scan we’ve had, im booking another reassurance scan for about 28 weeks just for peace of mind xxxxxxx

i’ve lost 2 this year and i’m currently 19 weeks and all i can think about is my baby not having a heartbeat bc w my first one everything was fine even when everything was wrong.

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Awww so so sad bless you hope everything stays so well for you guys xxxx

Good luck Heather x

We had to have our daughter via a surrogate and it was a roller coaster. We had two surrogates fail their phone screenings with our clinic. Then we found a surrogate and for pregnant on the first try. Sadly we miscarried at 11 weeks. It was devastating for us, but traumatizing for our surrogate. She wanted to try again so desperately for us but she has PTSD and extreme anxiety. The three of us mutually partners ways after 9 months, she realized she may never be able to try again and didn’t want to make us wait around for a what if. We luckily got rematched quickly and after 1 failed transfer, 2 mock cycles done and a successful transfer we had our beautiful girl who is almost 11 months. But the whole pregnancy every milestone was a sigh of a relief, but we basically had our breathe held until we held her in our arms for the first time. My best advice is do find the little things to distract you or bring you joy. A small act of self care if you can.

This is my third pregnancy, 5 weeks before this pregnancy I had just finished having a miscarriage, I’m now 15w pregnant today. It is hard but I’ve been taking it day by day. The 9w ultrasound was so comforting for me, seeing my baby and it was doing a little wiggle and heartbeat was good. Now I’ve started feeling more defined movements which is also further easing everything. I’m not having another ultrasound until 20w so just hanging in there.

I had a missed miscarriage discovered at 14 weeks so I was traumatised and constantly anxious. I’m now 23 weeks. I found out a place in my city does ‘reassurance scans’ which are quick 10min ultrasounds I wish I’d known about earlier. They’re strictly non medical but maybe something may offer similar where you are?

I lost my first 2 babies, had a successful 3rd pregnancy & now I am pregnant again... I completely understand your fears. Any little pain I get terrifed. I don't want to pick things up or do anything that could harm baby but I also don't want to be completely lazy as I have a toddler to look after. But we just have to try and take it day by day and always talk to others. You got this mama 😁

I’m 11 weeks with my rainbow baby and every day is a battle. What has helped me is writing affirmations and saying them out loud every time I feel anxious. Things like... I trust that my body knows what it’s doing, I am able to do hard things, I will be a badass mommy! Etc. it really does help!!! Xoxo

Im so sorry 😢 pregnancy after loss isn’t easy. You do what you need to get through mine was trying to keep busy and distracting myself. We lost our first baby at 6 days old in the nicu he was very premature due to preeclampsia. I had my second and was so worried throughout but was fine. Im now on my third baby still worried but better than my second now that i know more of what to expect. Once you lose a child you lose that innocence that bad things dont happen to you unfortunately. Here if you want to have a chat xxx

Idk if you do get through the fear. I lost 3 back to back and was ready to give up for a while but was already pregnant. My husband and I didn’t announce or even start preparing for baby til after 20 weeks. I just did my best to stay either positive or neutral. No negativity. It’s hard and part of me regrets not letting myself enjoy my pregnancy (which wasn’t that bad).

Hey! I really can empathise how you are feeling. I had a missed miscarriage in January. I’m currently 13 weeks, I have suffered complications and was diagnosed with a subchorionic hematoma. In total I have had 5 scans. If it wasn’t for that reassurance I have no idea how I would of coped. Hearing the heartbeat every times lights up my world. Days like today when my anxiety is bad, (I’m having a bleed, which I have had from the beginning) I question everything. Just got remain positive and be In tuned with your body. I don’t think we will never be worried, even when the baby is born xx

I lost my first pregnancy as well! I have an almost 2 year old now and had a very easy pregnancy! But definitely take it day by day and try not to worry yourself to death. I can’t say the anxiety goes away because it doesn’t but it will get easier! I’m now pregnant again and still have the same fears I had before. You got this mama! Sending all the good baby vibes you way ❤️

I lost my first pregnancy too, a MMC. I'm very sorry you lost your first too. Honestly I was desperate to conceive again and anxious the moment I did. Counselling, CBT, helped me to get through it. Hypnobirthing really helped i used a series of cds from Maggie Howell which helped me.

It’s so amazing to read all of the encouragement being poured out in this thread. I lost my first baby, too. We had an ectopic pregnancy. This pregnancy was a rocky start. My doctors thought I had twins with one stuck in the tube early on. Turned out to just be scar tissue in the tube, thanks be to God but it was so scary. For me, it’s helped to talk to friends and my husband when he’s not drained from work. If I talk to him when his tank is empty I noticed it makes him feel anxious and helpless, I understand, I get it. It was hard for him too. I also let it out in my prenatal visits. I’m so blessed, my OB is super awesome. She told me not to hesitate to call in or message her if I’m feeling anxious about the pregnancy. She told me she’d get me in for a quick ultrasound to see my baby’s heartbeat. She made me feel understood and unashamed of my anxiety. Also, I pray for my baby and for good thoughts. The lord gives me his peace. One day at a time. Lots of love ❤️

This is my 5th pregnancy I lost my 4th at around 8 weeks. We were absolutely devastated and this time round (6 weeks currently) I am extremely anxious and afraid something is going to go wrong you are not on your own so far I have been keeping busy and getting involved in various activities preparing for Christmas (as well as working) and talking about how I'm feeling with my husband these things seem to help stay strong you are not alone xxx

Very sorry for your loss. I was very anxious until about 20 weeks when I could feel baby move in this second pregnancy after losing my first at 12 weeks. Things that I found helped: telling yourself that right now, to the best of your knowledge, baby is fine. Counselling- really helps to validate your concerns and grief. Reading the baby loss guide and pregnancy after loss books by Zoe Clarke Coates. Xx

I had 3 miscarriages and lost 4 babies 😓 I’m currently pregnant a 4th time and I’m 38+3 atm and I feel scared all the time, it’s completely normal but you honestly just get with it, I had to get my cervix stitched in the end and honestly it was the best thing for me, don’t lose hope or give up!!!

I've lost 3 and currently 22wks now, I don't think the anxiety and fear ever goes away. But the scans and movements are really reassuring. They still leave me speechless and in tears. But coping with the anxiety and fear, I've found keeping a journal and making personal goals has really helped me. And when things get really bad, you just have to remind yourself this is a different pregnancy with a different ending. And don't feel worried about talking to your midwife about these concerns they are surprisingly really helpful. Feel free to message me if you ever want to talk though, really hope it all goes well

Hi i had my first son 7 years ago. I was trying for a second baby for 23 months and had a really hard time getting pregnant. I ended up getting pregnant in dec 2017 and i was shocked but happy i ended up having brown spotting so went to my doctors they refereed me to the early pregnancy unit i had a scan and i had a subchronic hematoma which explained the brown spotting. They said to me it looks like i was having a missed miscarriage they asked me to come back in another week to check. And i knew before the first scan i had my baby was gone. I ended up bleeding a day before my 2nd scan and i still went in and they said yes im sorry your are experiencing a missed miscarriage. I waited just over a year and tried again and i got pregnant again with our beautiful baby girl who is 10 months old today. From the moment i found out i was pregnant untill the moment she was placed in my arms. My anxiety was so bad i couldn't relax i kept thinking something bad was going to happen. I dreaded every scan and every midwife

Appointment it was horrendous i didnt enjoy my pregnancy compare to my first pregnancy. I felt so bad that i couldn't relax. I only relaxed once she was placed in my arms. Then all my worry went away. I focused on getting through day by day then week by week. And that worked for me. I hope everything works out for you xx

I’m currently 13+2 with my rainbow baby after The lost of my son on 19th may this year at 13+5 due to a sub-chorionic haematoma that caused my placenta to come away. I’ve had 4 scans so far and no issues have been found that I had while carrying my son, but that still doesn’t put my mind At ease, it’s normal lovely, I can’t say your fear will go but talk to your partner, friends and family etc, don’t bottle things up x

i’m sorry for your loss. it’s devastating, makes you so scared for your next pregnancy. but enjoy it! pray (if your religious) put you and your baby in Gods hands. i lost my first baby at 15w 3d. we found out he was a boy that day. he took his last breath when he was born, he was perfectly formed, so beautiful, so tiny. he was doing amazing my whole pregnancy, it was my body that wasn’t the greatest and i wish i knew what i know back then. it could’ve been prevented. (and i know a lot of miscarriages aren’t at all) this pregnancy i was terrified in the beginning, but then i started praying. i was still very anxious with any little cramp, spotting, unusual symptom, with anything! but i did what i had to do and stayed in bed rest basically my whole pregnancy. i wish i could’ve enjoyed my pregnancy more. but i have my beautiful rainbow baby that’s almost 2 years old now. i also had a miscarriage before finding out i was pregnant with my daughter. i thought i’d never be a mom.

I had a lot of trouble with this too. I was nervous every day of my pregnancy after loss. Talking to friends and other mamas who had gone through similar situations helped me a lot, as well as talking to my doctors about what I was feeling. I’m here if you need to talk. Lots of love ❤️

You don’t get through the fear, unfortunately. I just recently had a little boy, but a year before I became pregnant with him, I had a missed miscarriage. (Basically, the fetus stopped growing but my body didn’t let go of it.) So, with my current baby, I didn’t get any peace of mind until after the first ultrasound. Something that helped me through it was knowing that my miscarriage likely happened because something was wrong with the fetus. (I would not want to bring a baby into this world with a serious genetic disorder, and a miscarriage can be your body’s way of signaling that something is wrong. So I stopped looking at my miscarriage as a tragedy and started viewing it as nature’s way of making sure I had a healthy child who could survive.) Just because you have had a miscarriage, doesn’t mean this pregnancy will end in miscarriage. Just take it one day at a time. Everyday that passes decreases your odds of miscarrying just a little more.

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https://datayze.com/miscarriage-reassurer

Thank you for this❤️

The amount of SUPPORT and COMFORT is amazing. It is so so amazing to hear so many women’s stories. Thankful for each and every one of you♥️

I am a new mama first one and I fear it

Hello ladies, so sorry to hear you past losses! For those who had previous late losses were you given aspirin in your subsequent pregnancies?

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So sorry for your losses! Did you get it prescribed from the GP? And when did you start to take it?

Yes! I’ve lost 7. And I take aspirin every time I get pregnant now!

Prayer and taking it day by day trying to stay positive best you can

I’m currently 31 weeks pregnant with our rainbow baby, I would just say take each day as it comes and feel grateful for every step of the journey. I wish you the best xx

Just think positive that way you can bring positive vibes to you & your baby. Try your best to keep all negative people/vibes away from you.

I am in the same boat and I totally understand your anxiety. I had my loss in April and have been trying ever since. I am 5w tomorrow and have my first appt December 14th. Sometimes I’m very hopefully other times I’m scared out of my mind. The waiting game is so nerve wracking!! I’m hoping the anxiety subsided when we get to 12 weeks or atleast after my first appt. I’m here if you ever want to talk and congratulations 💕best of luck!!

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Best of luck to you♥️ I understand you completely mama! Try to take it day by day. I’m getting more positive with every week!

Good! I am too 💕

I am pregnant of my first but I am usually anxious about health related stuff and now I am 100% more! It took me almost 6 months to buy his first clothes and such because I am so afraid I am gonna Lose him! So far so good! I hope we all have healthy pregnancies !

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I understand the attached so much! I refuse to say baby or even think about names, nursery, etc. I’m too afraid it will make it that much harder if I go through loss again.

I totally get it. My first pregnancy ended in a miscarriage then it took another 8 months before I fell pregnant again. I remember particularly the first twelve weeks I stressed about every little thing. I remember saying I thought I was losing the baby again because I had back ache. For me I found I got better as the pregnancy went on specially after the scans. However, I don’t think it ever fully goes away. I worried about lack of movement later in the pregnancy. It’s tough but I got through it and now have a gorgeous five month old baby boy in my arms 😊 x

I had a mm and a blighted ovum

I lost during 7 weeks also with our 1st baby

Breath pray meditate talk to your man you guys are a team and your rainbow baby will be fine it's okay to cry to feel like you still need to heal but just remember that angel is watching over you and their sibling with love and peace

Just take it day by day. I miscarried my first and honestly the anxiety doesn't go, it just becomes easier the further along you are. It's completely normal to feel anxious though. I found acknowledging how I felt and that it was valid helped, and just have a chat with someone close to you (your partner, a parent or a close friend) and ask for some reassurance. X