Do you think not having a father causes ‘father-less’ behaviors?

The amount of men not wanting to be in their kids lives, or is/has a weak mother and a bad influence on her image of what woman to be is so sad. Personally, I do think it has a correlation.

Lee más en Peanut

Las opiniones en la comunidad son solo de quienes participan y no representan las de Peanut.

Conoce más sobre nuestras reglas.

Add a comment

100% yes! Ppl don’t understand the significant impact of a father in a child’s life.

Yes as someone whose father was absent most if not all her life. He was only in my first 8 years but in reality he was constantly in the first 5 years and after that he was in and out. After turning 8 he was basically dust to me.

He’s now sober and we have a great connection now that I’m over the age of 18 and he’s recovered from addiction but it has still impacted me. I wouldn’t say fatherless behaviors if I’m understanding that meaning not respecting self but more of issues from not having a father like anxiety and fear of abandonment.

I think saying "fatherless behaviour" is taking the responsibility away from the absent father. It also puts responsibility on the parent that stayed as if they are a failure for staying. People only say fatherless behaviour when they are blaming single mothers and the children of dead beats.

@Marina I completely I agreee with u. I grew up with an absent bio dad & a very docile Adoptive dad. I had major daddy issues! I strugggled a lot. Got pregnant for the 1st time at like 15 & then again at 18. I often times think of who or what I would have become if I had present parents especially a present father

Yes! My dad was a violent, drunk abuser and the short period of time (0-9) he was in my life has dramatically affected my entire self. I think if I wasn’t such a positive, open, forgiving person by nature I wouldn’t not of turnout out the way I have.

I also think if my mum had stayed single instead of marrying/being with countless other awful men I probably would have really sought out a man like my dad. Between the age of 10-13 I REALLY missed my dad and I was confused why I missed a man that was so awful to us. Then being a teenager seeing my mum be with more abusive, violent awful men lead me to deliberately find the opposite.

So having awful step fathers helped make me realise that my dad being awful wasn’t my fault and that a lot of men were awful and pushed me to find someone totally different. So I guess that’s the only bonus of the long list of shitty men I grew up around!

@Zainab🗝️ I only use that term because of a video I’ve just watched, not shaming or blaming single mothers AT ALL. The parents that leave or are incompetent are definitely the ones at fault. I’m purely talking about their actions as adults which was considered or labeled fatherless behavior

Personally no, I never had a father, and I never engaged in “fatherless behaviour”. As a grown adult you decide how to act. I could have turned into a pregnant teen on benefits (like most my family) but I made the decision not to. Can’t always blame others for your own actions, especially as an adult

Both my husband and my own dad had absent fathers but both are loving, involved dads themselves. I think they use it as motivation to be better. So to answer your question, I believe it depends on the man.

I didn’t mean to come off any way, purely talking about the activities or behaviors of adult children without good fathers. I’m also one, not blaming myself or my mom for being weak. It’s what it is, she still has a more teen like thinking and I know she didn’t see it for what it was or caused me and my brother

So much is situational. My kid doesn’t have a father because she has two moms. I have friends who are single moms by choice and they set their lives up so there isn’t a gap. We all have male friends and family who are active in our kids lives, but it’s not coming from a place of brokenness.

yes. there is only so much a mom can do in terms of filling in that role and that including having father like figures in the family. it’s not the same as a dad being there just as much as mom

I think it goes both ways. Children are affected if they don’t have either a present mother or father figure.

I know for myself personally that my father not having a role in my life led to a core belief of “I’m not enough” that belief influenced a lot of decision making especially as a teen and young adult. Literally “daddy issues”.

I agree it does also go both ways, ofc there’s deadbeats of every variety and everyone is so complex what situation they grow out of vs how they become. Me and my brother took our upbringing very differently though we grew up same circumstances. I feel it’s either you observe and learn or sadly repeat the cycle that raised you

Yes. And it grinds my gears when mothers keep their children away from their fathers just because their relationship was bad. Being a bad partner does not always automatically equal a bad father. And just because he was a bad partner doesnt automatically make him a narcissist either. That word is thrown around way too easily on here.

It’s been proven that having an absent father comes with many statistical risks to the child and the family.

Yes, but not only a father, but reliable, loving adults.

100000% me and most of my friends are fatherless and have all displayed signs of it through our behaviours unfortunately 😭 especially the way we engage with the opposite sex

I think having a bad present mom is just as bad of possibly even worst than a absent dad in relation to future behaviors

Having a bad dad is worse than having an absentee dad. My father left when I was a baby, I've got zero memories of him. But my friends who had inconsistent dads or abusive dads all engaged in more "fatherless behavior" than I ever did

@Raqi honestly yea my dad not being present probably meant a lot to my life lol! Idk if I’d be a great person if he was in my life when I was a kid or even alive

What is father-less behavior? Lol. Sounds like some shit an incel would say on 4chan ten years ago.

I think fatherless behavior is super subjective. And I think a lot of people with present & or active fathers still act fatherless. So. Idk.

There’s a song lyric that I love, “where’s your respect? And didn’t your father teach you anything before he left?” I like how it can be interpreted literally, or be interpreted as like, try your best to not let the piece of shit influence you as a human.

@Raven🇵🇸 as it was used, it was used towards doing sex work from a past sex worker turned sex therapist. I was more using it in a way of ‘daddy issues’. For instance I had issues with authority figures, I felt the need for attention from men not in sexual way but imo rooted from not being looked at as important as my brother. I have issues with how men act, but it may also look different like I’ve said i agree it does depend. I get these might just be parental issues because our caretakers are our world growing up but as our mothers show us self love from a woman’s perspective, and self love how we should be treated by a man. There’s specific issues that arise when a child is lacking one parent, so if it offends you it can be called ‘daddy issues’. In other words just issues arising from one parent

OP u explained it perfectly! X I also understand what u meant by “fatherless behavior” even tho I’ve never used or heard of that phrase being used before bt I knew u meant “daddy issues” that’s why I used that phrase in my response to Marina. I honestly learned something new today cuz I didn’t know that incels were using the term “fatherless behaviours” until I just googled it now