Mother-in-Law Problems

My MIL is a flight attendant. She can fly free. She just told us that she’s selling everything she has a moving in with us to help us when she’s not working! Hello I never asked you!!

today me and my husband had a massive argument my mother in law caused my mil asked me if my husband said something so i told my husband what she said when my husband went to ask her she lied and said she didnt say that and called me a liar .

She also said that she cleans around in the house when she only did it twice she makes it out like i disrespect her . She always tells me what to do with my daughter as well. And she has an issue id i sit in the front seat as well in the car .

She said to me today that she will always come first to my husband as thats her son i dont know what to do anymore

MIL won’t have anything to do with us unless we go to her house. In the beginning, we would ask her to come and sit with baby while we do projects around the house. She always said no if it meant she had to come to our house.

BIL (24) has been providing BIL (15) with THC and has been threatening 15 and his friend group with SA apparently. That’s not something to play around with and is even worse if it’s not playing around. 15 also has been using so much MJ and edibles that he’s ended up in the hospital for it in the past.

SIL (30) is currently engaged to BIL (24) ex fiancé so that’s a hot mess and is choosing a life of drugs. SIL (28) is all about the church and cuts people out of her life when they upset her. When the grandfather passed away, 28 started cutting out family from her life and I made the short list until I couldn’t take it any longer that she refused to speak to my husband. Now I’m blocked as well.

Basically, my whole in-laws are not a part of my kids lives by their own choices and actions. My husband still talks to them but it causes him so much stress and anxiety. He’s the oldest and wants to “fix” everyone. He’s also made comments about how much it hurts that his mother is capable of being a good grandma to his siblings kids but can’t show up for ours ever.

Only BIL really ever used to come around but after the hospitalization of 15, I asked he not be allowed in our home. Now with the SA threats from 24, I want to make the same request. Is it wrong to just want to cut all ties with all of them since they’ve been so awful to our family? I know my husband will never go for it. I had such a hard time going to him and saying I did not want 15 in my home.

I’m now realizing while writing all this that I truly do need to be in therapy. So I guess I am going to be on the hunt for a therapist that won’t break my bank 😕. Also, I know my family isn’t perfect, but they show up and care about my kids. My in-laws used to just send presents and now don’t even do that. Kids are 2 and 3.

I have always had issues with my MIL. Some of the issues: She tracked all my pregnancies, and took the joy out of me reading the pregnancy app things. She bought baby clothes none stop before I delivered, so I never felt like I could buy any myself. She also only ever got clothes in the style she liked. She monitored what I ate, what medicines took, told me not to be intimate or I could hurt the baby. If I mentioned wanting to buy something, she would buy whatever it was before I had the chance to. Again always what she would prefer. She would try and take the babies out of my arms if they hurt themselves. And anytime I brought up being a little less involved, she would say “I can never do anything right, I’m always in trouble” not speak to my for a week and then go right back to doing the stuff again. I always felt like she was trying to take over the role as mom as she views my significant other more of a husband than a son. Has anyone else dealt with something similar? Ate the boundaries ever gonna be listened to?

I feel like this might be the right group to ask this. I’m raising a wonderful son, and I want to be intentional about the kind of man he grows up to be. I know the way I raise and treat him can influence how he shows up in his future relationships. For those of you who’ve had challenges with a mother-in-law, what are some things you wish she had taught her son—or things you wish she had done differently while raising him or how she acts?