Mamas with depression, anxiety, and other mental health disorders

Please don't judge I wasn't always like this. Well I was before I had kids but after my first things were different. I don't feel safe in my living room. I don't like having the blinds open and people being able to see in. I don't like going in the kitchen because even tho I've been in my own house for more than 5 years I still feel like someone's going to come in and start complaining that I'm doing everything wrong or I'm "stealing". I hate making food in my kitchen. I can't cook (except the basics but tbh more than some people I know) but I can follow a recipe but I don't like being in my kitchen for any length of time. I've suffered severe anxiety and depression since I was about 12, after I had my first things were different I was just in my bubble with my baby I didn't care about any of those things anymore. I had a difficult pregnancy with my second and ended up with postpartum depression and anxiety. I breastfed for 6 months and room shared for 8 months, he's 10 months now and I just don't jn know how to fix this this time 😭. It's got to the point my partner has to do meals and tries to get us downstairs but I always just end up taking them back to their room. I don't ignore my kids I spend most of my time in their room with them but I don't want them to end up like me.

I just feel so cornered. No one seems to understand what I'm going through. I get so angry with my baby and everyone around me. I feel worthless and that I am not doing enough. I think my baby deserves better and have thought about giving him away. But I really don't want to.

My husband has dumped every single thing on me over the last couple of years. Two children, two dogs, the house, groceries, cooking, cleaning... he works from early morning to late night and earns a big fat package while I am a stay at home mama. He stays home only on Sundays and refuses to help with anything saying it's his only day off and he needs rest. I'm on anxiety and depression medicines for 4 years now and my limits are stretching thin. The mental fatigue is so much I want to run away sometimes. We have zero connection, zero communication, he is not involved even with his own kids. It's just work, watching his sitcoms, partying with his people and sleeping. When I speak up, he says he is already doing enough by earning money and he can't do more. I can leave if that irks me so much. I don't know what to do!!

I wished someone would’ve told me to not date a man that doesn’t have friends. My husband has a couple of online friends who he plays video games with but other than that he calls our 3 yr old his best friend which to me is weird because once he gets school age and makes his own friends he’s not gonna look at his dad as his friend.

Because he doesn’t have friends of his own he hates that I have friends and thinks because I go to brunch once a month that I put my friendships that I put them over my family.

We started dating right as covid hit so it took me a while to realize that he didn’t have his own community of ppl. He literally gets mad when I say one of my friends invited me to a birthday party or something. Idk what to do I just feel like he wants to isolate me from everyone and stay a hermit with him

Any fellow bipolar/BPD girlies here? I’m interested to see how people maintain “stability” through their daily routines, especially if you have young children. I have an 8 month old and I’m struggling with a lack of routine 😩 Any tips or advice would be great 🙏🏻