Postpartum Depression

I'm glad everyone loves my daughter, I really am. I have more people who will stand up for her than for me, but on that note...I wish I knew what was wrong with me that I have no friends...being a mom with no friends is hard...

I know I have PPD, but sometimes I don’t understand why I feel the way I do and if it is due to PPD. I’m never 100% on here about how I feel because some people can be very judgmental and don’t understand. First off I love my baby unconditionally but I get feelings of not wanting to spend time with him or look after him so I have to get his auntie to take over. I don’t want to feel like this, I want to enjoy my time with my baby but I really don’t, it feels like a chore, I hate being a parent and when I ask my partner if he likes being a parent he says he loves it and he loves being with his son but I just can’t seem to understand why he would enjoy it, what’s there to enjoy? During my postpartum journey I have had many different feelings and these are just a few but I was wondering if anyone can relate to this?

So I’ve come to a realisation the other day that after the birth of my son I have been sitting in depression for 2 years, I’ve been told that I have postpartum depression and mentally I was like yep let’s get that fixed and did it but it didn’t really sink in till the other day when I was having a play with my son that I have been sitting in deep depression for 2 years and I knew it but didn’t know it and now I want to make a turn in my life and get socialising but I don’t know how to anymore. How does someone get socialising again? How do you pace yourself where your not tired out from over socialising and your not under socialising how do I go about weighing these out?

Let me start by saying my husband is wonderful and a wonderful dad to our little girl, but he also works third shift so most of the time I feel like a single mom. I have no friends and it depressed me when I see mom friends hanging out because I have no one and I crave friendship. Maybe I'm stupid for feeling this way, but I do. I love my little one with all of my heart, so I feel selfish saying I need more

Just decided to share this since I’m having an off day and this is what goes on in my head if anyone thought they were along they definitely are not.