Marriage Help

Almost a year ago, I expressed wanting to move so I could have help with our kids and be closer to family. As time went on, my grandmother’s health declined tremendously and she’s in the final stages and could be gone any day now. And I realized how important it was for me and our kids to spend as much time with her as possible. I haven’t lived there in years and phone calls and visiting not the same no more knowing time isn’t on our side.

I made it clear I wasn’t trying to move forever. Just a year. Just time I can’t get back. We both have jobs and a place to stay waiting on us in the new state. He has a job now that he goes days/weeks at a time not working and our kids are under 2 so it’s no problem moving. And he agreed.

Now that it’s actually time, everything changed. The dates kept getting pushed, the reasons kept changing, and now it’s turned into “you can go with the kids, I don’t have to go. I’ll just stay.”

It hurts because I didn’t just want to go I wanted my partner there with me and support me. I’ve always supported him in the past even when it was hard. Plus we get married in a few weeks.

I just eventually said I’ll go without him but I’m hurt the one time I need support I don’t get it. It’s not giving we a team.

I have left my partner i couldnt take doing everything for him he took me for granted we were together for 13+ years and he just didnt do a thing he lost his job but even when he was working I still done everything for him anyway hes refusing to leave we are joint tenancy on our council home I feel like signing the rights to him and find myself somewhere else to live with our 3 kids I cant stand living with him any longer hes constantly in my space asking for me back I sleep on our couch I have been for nearly a week now he is adamant we are getting back together our kids know I have been to housing they wont rehome me I'm just looking for any advice hes also waiting on me to help him find a job and to find out what hes entitled to which im also trying to find out for myself too and hes refusing to talk about co parenting as he is always in my space saying can you take me back now I will change I have made changes just take me back but im done I have asked him to back off and he hasnt - sorry about the rant I just dont know what to do any advice please hes draining me.

This is an incredibly long story but it starts with childhood trauma. Then mother problems as an adult. Losing his job & having to get help from family to pay bills. I started seeing a loss in drive at the time of losing his job & he had a hard time trying to find a new one because of lack of confidence. We had marital problems due to my postpartum depression & weight gain. Then he got a new job this January & February was the best month ever. Lots of sex lots of laughter and fun & just happiness. All of a sudden he isn’t in love with me anymore. His hobby is slowpitch softball & he said he has drowned himself in softball due to not wanting to come home. Never seeing the kids before bed. Being gone all day at work. Never being around in the evenings. He says home doesn’t feel like home and he’s miserable. We don’t have a bad relationship. We communicate well, we don’t argue or yell. We talk through disagreements. We have the same values. I’ve never been unfaithful even though he has done plenty that I’ve had to forgive. He has gone as far as saying he wants to separate & he has gone to stay elsewhere leaving me with our 2 kids. We’ve been together 11 years. He says this has been going on for 2-3 years but never said anything even though we’ve had ups & downs. I truly feel like he’s depressed but won’t admit it and won’t get therapy or any professional help. He says he needs time to decide if he wants a divorce or if he want to work on things. If I am sure he’s depressed & hes going to ruin this family how can I help him not make the wrong decision. Can I give him an ultimatum? If he wants to come back he needs help? If he wants a divorce he needs help first before I sign papers? He’s said so many hurtful things to me but I want to believe that it’s just the depression talking & the depression telling him he doesn’t care because he does care. I know this Is just a very small portion of everything but any advice?

I have told my partner I'm done we are over and at first he took it well said i was to do what made me happy and that I wasnt to worry about him but now hes threatening to take our kids away from me and that I'm only allowed them at the weekends and I have to send him all our finances as hes going to become the primary carer and I'll have visitations I'm not a bad person at all then he said this has came out of nowhere hes refusing to go but hes stopping me leaving with our kids so I have to sleep on our sofa while he has our bedroom to himself I dont know what to do I have never been in this situation before but I cant go on in a loveless relationship anymore I didnt plan for this which is my bad but I'm just so fed up now this is making me sick

Been together w/my hubby for 20 yrs and just recently tried to move to NC w/him in a tiny home. I stayed for 1.5 yrs, but sadly my mental state was declining since the property was so remote and I have no fam/friends there. I decided to move back to our FL home since it didn't sell and he's still in NC till he finishes his contract w/his job in September. My son decided to stay w/him and my daughter w/me. It's been hard, sad, lonely w/o my boys, but I'm trying my best to put a smile to my face everyday and keep going. I have so many emotions especially guilt because I left. I was on 3 medications when I lived there and fell into a really dark place at one point. Now, I'm no longer on meds and seem better. I'm also looking for new employment (living off my savings for now), and working on me. When I do bring up the conversation of him coming back in September my husband seems hesitant. He hates FL and wasn't happy when we were here. I told him to give it another chance and after the kids finish school (approx 8 yrs to go) we can try moving again...I do sadly feel if he comes back to FL he'll resent me. I don't want to beg him to come back because I want him happy even if it's w/o me...I'm so lonely and it doesn't help that I'm an introvert, hard to make any friends etc...Does long distance marriage even work? Any advice? Is anyone else going through something similar out there? I just miss my little family being together.