Sex and Relationships with Railey Molinario

So long post but I feel like I’m living with a narcissist and I’m starting to lose my mind. I met my husband when I was 11 (in Europe while visiting my family home) I knew then he was going to be my husband. Obviously being long distance and being little kids, we didn’t start dating till I was 16. He was great, or maybe it was the honeymoon phase? He moved to Canada about a year and a half later and has been here since, I am now 27 he is 30. We have 2 kids together, a 4 year old & 16 month old … my kids are my world. He’s a great dad when it comes to the physical aspect but would he be great if I wasn’t there watching them all day, having all their meals prepped, bath time ready and everything else that comes along with kids.

I work full-time, remote but it’s still very high demand. I was responsible for finding the childcare and running around the town trying to find someone suitable. I do all the cooking, cleaning, appointments, paying of bills; anything that you can think of I do it … all of it. I just had surgery on Wednesday to have a cyst removed so obviously I haven’t been very mobile, but without my mom’s help I would have died of starvation, we probably all would have. He told me today to get the f*** up and stop over exaggerating. Constantly belittling me telling me to take a look at how I look, am I not embarrassed and much worse. Also been finding an immense amount of porn on his phone which is disgusting and it’s funny because not even one girl on those videos looks anything like me. I feel like I’m constantly being gaslit, stepped on, I’m mentally physically and emotionally exhausted and I’m not sure I have any desire to be with him.

I have 0 care for sex & even when we do have sex it’s all for him, nothing for me. It’s boring. My mom has been here cooking all the meals, cleaning, watching the kids and he’s for some reason still frustrated even though he’s had to do fuck all. I’m angry, unhappy & stressed but he makes me feel like I’m the crazy one. Without me the world would stop turning

My husband and I have been together for about 9 years, married 3 and a half years. We have an almost 3 year old and our youngest just turned 1. I'm not sure how to go about this, but I'll just get to the point... We have no sex life. I try. I try to come onto him both physically and verbally. He acts oblivious. (I know he's not). He just kisses me goodnight and rolls over. We haven't had sex in over 3 months. I feel undesirable and I find myself detaching from him. I'm beginning to admire other men in public. To make things worse, we never talk. He comes home from work (im a sahm), I make dinner, we eat, and we get the kids to bed. The rest of the night, we dont have conversation at all. He plays his game or doomscrolls his phone. I feel like we're strangers.

I can’t quite work out if this is a me problem or him. I’m pregnant, I have a 15 month old I’m working to help pay bills I also have an older son with ASD. I feel like I have a lot on my plate right now. My husband and I are also starting a business. He works 4 days a week and focuses on the business the other days, I work 3 days n focus on the business and kids the other days our life’s feel jam packed. Yet I’m still solely responsible for childcare, cooking and cleaning. Our 15 month old will throw biscuits on the floor or create mess and even on my husbands days off he’ll just walk right past it and leave it for me to do. I feel like as I’m pregnant working with kids why does he never pick up some of the slack. Whenever I talk to him about it, he throws it back in my face tells me I’m moaning about small things I’m always looking for an argument when I’m not, I just want a healthy grown up conversation about being responsible for the things we have together. He isn’t earning as much as before as he’s now gone part time to focus on the business and so we both need to play a part in finances which I have no problem with. Why if I’m helping with finances does he feel like he can’t help with anything in the home. He walks around with a funny attitude doesn’t greet me after work or in the morning and when I bring it up to him he shouts n tells me to go call a friend don’t bother him with stupid issues. He’s never willing to listen to me.

Has anyone else completely lost their libido since having a baby? My son is 18 months and before him I had such a high sex drive and would want to have sex pretty much all the time however since having him I just don’t have that desire whatsoever like when it happens on the other occasion that I do want to do it, I do really enjoy it however I don’t sit there and think or I could really use a shag right now sorry that is a bit TMI but do you know what I mean? Anyone relate like? I don’t fancy it until it happens and that’s not very often.

Me and my boyfriend the father of my child have decided to go our separate ways after 10+ years idk I guess I’m just looking for encouragement that everything will be ok my youngest just turned 1 I was a stay at home mom I’m scared I know people start over everyday but still the thought of doing that after all this time is killing me