Community Posts, Tips & Support on Mental Health

Honest, unfiltered, and in real-time: what women like you are talking about. Peanut group chats, support, and posts on Mental Health

How do I begin to start making friends again?

It’s so so crazy how my social life has flipped from when I announced I was pregnant. I am the only one that has a baby so far in the small circle I had. No one checks in, even when I try myself. I feel like my “friends” are just sick and tired of hearing about my son. My son is the best thing that ever happened to me. He is the absolute centre of my world and I don’t get up to anything anymore other than being a mum because everyone has just checked out and moved on. How the heck do I start anew? I have to really really hype myself up to even post this 🤣
Advice is more than welcome I need help lols💜

Lonely

I always told myself i’d have the perfect pregnancy , perfect “family life”. but it feels like my partner has gotten so distant and i’m in this alone . i don’t know what to do what to say so i just lay in bed crying now.

Alone

I don’t even know what I want out of posting this. But I’m so alone. I’m so tired. I’m so burnt out… I’m a single mother of a medically complex kid. I have no friends. I have no family. My daughter’s family has nothing to do with her. I get no breaks. I get no time to myself. I work from home and raise my daughter while I’m working. I can’t afford a baby sitter so I have to balance both at the same time. I never get to get out of my house unless it’s the grocery store or errands. I have no social life it’s just this. My daughter is 6 now and I didn’t even think I could get pregnant when I found out I was pregnant with her… and then she came out when I was only 5 months pregnant. It’s been an emotional roller coaster ever since.

I literally have 0 support system. I don’t have the energy to make friends. I don’t have the safety to make friends because I don’t want strangers around my child and I’m never away from my child. I don’t have time to make friends….

It’s just my child, my job, my chores and errands.

I’m so tired. I’m so burnt out. I’m so depressed.

Does anyone feel back to normal yet?

I had my twins 14 months ago and I still feel like I don’t recognise myself - both physically and mentally. I am so much more anxious than my previous self and I just feel like a completely different person. Is it just me?

Haven't been on holiday

Im feeling really guilty that we haven't gone on a holiday with our little girl. Im a teacher so it would have been amazing to go away during term time but she started army crawling at 5 and a half months, she hates the pram, hates the car, isn't a good sleeper and can whinge/cry quite a lot if im not holding her, so the thought of going away just seemed/still seems so stressful. However, seeing other people go away with their little one makes me feel like ive missed out on making special memories. I think its because there is so much pressure to do every activty, club, adventure etc on maternity leave.

Anyone else feel the same?

Friends while being a mom

I feel like I lost so many friends since I became a mom. Just because I’m a mom doesn’t mean I don’t want to do the fun things and go out. I can’t even tell you the last time I went out and got to just enjoy being baby free for a few hours that didn’t involve grocery shopping.

Tired

Hate being told “you got this” when I’m literally crying and begging for help

I seriously need some advice on how to feel happier in life

I m so misarble,I m mot happy in my life,I m single mum,I don't get any head space,i deal with everything on my own,noone around can relate,all I do is worry,I never feel relaxed, never feel ok,I went through DV so my self esteem in on the floor,I have such a negative view on everything,I feel like noone likes me,I sick of feeling like this,it's been 4 years since I left,I feel no way of moving forward,I feel this big gap in my soul,not fulfilled with jobs,or where I love or friendships,money,I dint had sex for 4 years,I m off work now and all I do is sit on the couch,clean,everythung I do is for my daughter...fed up,tired,need therapy but don't have time....I feel.like I need to make seem changes

Any single moms?

Hey, are there any other single moms having a baby on their own?
How are you dealing with it ?

Sometimes I get so sad and cry, obviously we’d also want a life partner / husband to experience the beauty of pregnancy & those kicks w someone.

💓

Pregnancy Depression

I’ve been feeling really lonely since I’ve had so many symptoms all pregnancy, and now constant back pain, too. I feel disabled due to my big belly and my family just tells me to “stop complaining.”

I feel like I have no one to talk to and I have no motivation or energy to do much. I cry frequently and just feel so sad. Anyone else?

Building a village

9 months postpartum I have been really lonely. I downloaded this app to connect with other moms and it seems like many moms are wanting friends but what happens? How are there so many of us that are looking for a tribe of other mothers but it just doesn’t seem to happen?? I’m an extrovert this has been one of the hardest things about postpartum is the lack of mom friends. I had a friend that showed up for me quite a bit. Now lately she hasn’t been there. It’s been a bit uncomfortable when I see her because I’m so hurt. She had told me that it was because my partner. My partner and I have gone through it. It’s been hard to do all the things. I feel depleted, sad, hurt, and defeated. There’s a part of me that wants to get off this app but I’m hoping someday I’ll build a village of women that can help each other? Support each other and be there for each other!

What do you do for YOURSELF?

I know it's hard as a sahm to find time for yourself. Some nights I'm lucky I even get to shower in peace. But I also try to remember if I don't take care of myself first, the kids suffer. You can't pour from an empty cup and all that jazz. So when you do finally get the time, or make the time, what do you like to do? Need some ideas lol 💕

Feeling lonely

I no longer feel like me and my husband are a team. We have a beautiful little girl who is my absolute world. However I feel right now he’s not pulling his wait I basically do everything. I watched him last night my daughter was trying to interact with him and he was just on his phone I broke me. I feel like I’m alone as I’m on my own all day and tbh I feel like I’m starting to want to be on my own.

Burned Out😭

I love my kids more than life itself and I am completely burned out. I am touched out and exhausted and empty. I smiled all day and now I am sobbing on the bathroom floor while dishes sit in the sink and laundry sits in piles. I feel like I am disappearing. Is this normal. How do you admit you need help when everyone thinks you have it together. Please tell me how you got through this. I need my people.

38 year-old first time mom - alone

I just need to vent because I feel like there’s just no place for me on any of these apps and I don’t really know how to make any friends that have any similarities here.

I’m 38. I was in a committed relationship with a 41-year-old man and we accidentally got pregnant and then he abruptly ended the relationship. I live in Manhattan. I have a great job. I’m not destitute but it feels like there’s no group for women that are single mothers that are in this category where we’re not absolutely bad off technically but it’s extremely lonely.. I didn’t use an IUI or a sperm donor. I also didn’t plan this. People that are married, seem to be weirded out by this and don’t really want to maintain a relationship because they’re like this is kind of a downer. And if I’m being so honest, the single mothers in these groups I have nothing in common with they’re always quite young and seem to be struggling in ways that I’m not.

My single friends don’t really understand and I married friends. I don’t think really will understand how f***ing hard this will be and I just feel like I have zero people that are in this category anywhere. It’s always people that are widowed or divorced or weren’t really even in the relationship or just decided to get pregnant by themselves because they didn’t want to have a partner. I just feel like there’s nobody that has anything in common and I don’t know where to look for that.

But if anyone on here genuinely wants to get together that lives in Manhattan, knowing this, I would love to talk to you because everyone on here is extremely excited about their pregnancies and I guess I was robbed of that a bit and I don’t really know how to celebrate with anyone in my life.

Any moms with 2 kids, no village, enjoying motherhood after PPD?

I have a 10 month old. I have PPD on and off. It’s gotten better but comes and goes. I feel overwhelmed by how physically difficult it is to do anything because he wants to be with me and carried a lot. If I don’t have a second I feel like I’ll always be sad because I suffer from loneliness and I don’t want him to feel it. I also want another. I’m just terrified of feeling this sad, anxious, and overwhelmed for years and years. I don’t mind hard days. I just feel not myself. Life does not feel normal yet.

Advice pls

Hi. I’m a single mom. 18 almost 19. I have been feeling very down lately and like I don’t have time for the things I enjoy. I want to be able to workout. I want a girl friend to go to the gym with. I want to swim. And I have been just so depressed. I can’t make friends with people who don’t have kids. And I can’t seem to make friends around my age with people who do have kids. I try working out at home at night when my son sleeps. But he just wakes up and starts crying. Please. Any help or advice.

Doing it alone.

People tell you, “You’re so strong, you’ve got this” but the truth is… I don’t always want to be strong.

No one really understands what it’s like to go through pregnancy alone until they’ve lived it.

It’s coming home after an exhausting day, emotionally, physically and mentally drained and realizing there’s no one waiting to hold you. No one to rub your aching back or your sore feet. No one to wrap their arms around you and remind you that you’re not carrying all of this by yourself.

It’s feeling your baby move in the middle of the night and instinctively reaching for someone who isn’t there. It’s wanting to share those little moments that make your heart so full, only to realize you’re the only one experiencing them.

It’s looking at things in the nursery that still need to be built, things in the garden that still need to be sorted, food shop that still needs to be carried and knowing there isn’t anyone to say, “Sit down. I’ll take care of it” or “I’ve got it love, don’t worry ”

People see the baby bump, but they don’t see the tears cried in an empty house. They don’t see the nights you wish you had someone to lean on or the moments you quietly grieve the family you thought your child would one day have.

I already love this baby more than words can ever say and I wouldn’t change them for anything in this world! But that doesn’t erase the heartbreak of walking through one of life’s biggest moments without the person I thought would be beside me through it all.

I know I have family and friends around me who are always there no matter what and I appreciate them so bloody much for helping me every step of the way. Honestly I’m so so grateful for every single one of them I really am.

But some days the loneliness is louder than I know how to explain. Loneliness in pregnancy is something that isn’t spoken about enough and it’s a problem.

This is meant to be the most magical and memorable times of my life but for some reason its been made to feel like one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to experience.

I will forever be grateful for the tiny little heartbeat growing inside me and I will continue to love and protect my baby with my life there’s no doubt about that, but I’ll never truly understand why this had to be my experience through pregnancy.

The day I can hold you in my arms and just know you’re here, you’re safe and with me is the day I honestly cannot wait for. That’s the day I’ll truly be at ease.

I know we’ll get through this together, just hold on tight and stay with me through this little one. We’ll be ok. We’ve got this,
Me&You 👣💛

Struggling

Anyone else feel so alone? I work from home full time, both my kids are home with me and my husband just got a new job where his hours are longer. We have no village and I’m so overwhelmed. I can’t be the only one, right?

Feeling like I compare myself for not having work

So I don’t have work but my friends do as mums. I think I just need to find people that don’t work but I can’t help but compare myself. I have a daughter thats 2 she goes childcare 4 days a week and my mum is getting old.. I’m also a single mum but I get government benefits… idk why I feel this way but I jusr cant help but compare sigh