Adoption, Fostering & Surrogacy

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Colourism

So I am Canadian-Jamaican and it’s such a spicy topic regarding skin colour. I have always considered myself black as both parents are from Jamaica. Externally, my dad would be considered “mixed” which stems from slavery. His family goes 2 generations back of mixed heritage. My mom is the descendant of Maroons that escaped to the mountains of Jamaica. When people ask what are you mixed with? I give them the spunky response with, “my mom and my dad.” Or when I tell them both parents are Jamaican they insist I give them more of a response.

Now that I have my daughter I already knew I had no control what DNA did in terms of skin colour. My fiancé is a dark skinned man from Antigua. When our daughter was born, she came out lighter than me. She is now 6months and basically is my twin except for when she frowns, that is all her father.

Now my mom has her “light skinned preference “ and has made comments on me dating a dark skinned man and she has also made comments about my daughter and her “good hair” and “nice skin.” Even my own dad has also chimed in on the skin colour of my daughter.

As a kid I struggled with identity and my blackness in schools that were predominantly East Asian. The very few black students in my school never wanted to be my friend because of how “light” I was.

I know times are different for some kids, but I wonder if any other moms out there struggle with colourism within your family or in the public?

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Did you worry about finances when having a second child?

Like you might not be able to afford them, or what if your financial situation changed?
Child poverty is so high at the moment, higher than ever and I fear many people don’t take into consideration how expensive children are.
Not just when newborns but throughout their whole life! Especially from starting school to teen years!

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Infant Adoption in Colorado

Hi there! My name is Natasha and I wanted to see if anyone has any recommendations, thoughts, or information for infant adoption in the state of Colorado.
A little about me 🌻
My situation is a little different and some what complicated but to not make this post super long, I am completely infertile and the only part that works in my internal reproductive system is my uterus 🥺 the path of IVF is out of the question for now as it is very expensive and with my history my chances are technically 0 (per many reproductive endocrinologist)
We have tried embryo adoption but unfortunately they didn’t attach.
At this time my expectations and hope are slowly disappearing and although it hurts to admit, my husband has started to give up on having kids. I would love to adopt but I think I need guidance and and support ❤️ thank you all for being part of this app ❤️❤️

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Transfer day advice?

I am due to have my embryo transfer on Saturday 🤞🏼 does anyone have any tips or advice on what to do for the following few days? As it’s Easter weekend I’d usually be doing a lot of visiting family and friends but I’ve seen some people suggest just resting for a few days. Any experience about how you felt afterwards?

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8

Do you spank/agree with spanking?

I live in GA USA and a lot of people around where I live seem to support spanking. Half of the people that I know are completely against it. The other half are for it. I have even met some who have changed their minds about it after they had kids. Some use to be against it until after they had kids. And some use to be for it until they had kids. Also, in my state it is legal as long as it does not leave marks and as long as it is from the parent and not from a school teacher or daycare worker or foster parent.

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14

“People really don’t want kids, they want babies”

Thoughts?

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11

Different shades

I have two boys with my husband- one is darkskinned/black and the other is light skin/ mixed race like. I am mixed race and my husband is black. We make the joke that people may be thinking that I am the step mum to my first born because my second born look so much like me. My second born is the lightest in my husband family and my first born the darkest in mine.
Truthfully I am just patiently waiting to deal with my children questions and also a bit scared. How can I support hem both to grow confident?
Some people in my family joked that my second born will have it easier in this world which make me eek. It made me very protective of my first born.
Oh dear, is anyone else in this situation?

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7

Does anyone get annoyed with non-parents giving unsolicited opinions/advice?

Usually the over simplified or idealistic kind?

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7

AITA for not wanting this ?

My husband who is from another country, Senegal, and he is legally adopting his nephew and he wants to bring his nephew here to live with us. He didn't ask me anything about it, he didn't consider me about it he just expects me to agree with it. Am I the a****** because I don't want to raise another kid, especially if I have no input on it and not biologically my child, the child is eight years old. He says he'll have better schooling here. What if I just told him that you take care of this child I will not be ? I just think what he's doing is not fair to the child.

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4

are you planning on teaching your kids about the concept of virginity?

meaning are you telling your children virginity is a real thing to concern yourself with?

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29

Preferred parent

In your family, who is the preferred parent?

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Puppy

How does a person go about responsibly adopting a puppy?

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Set up ready?

Anyone else not set stuff up ready?

The next to me is still in the box, the Mamaroo is in our room and needs to go downstairs and the pram is still in the box too 🤣🤣🤦🏼‍♀️

I've done clothes and got everything else but honestly I've been so slack with the rest and I'm now panicking 🤦🏼‍♀️🤣

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TW -

How do you explain the concept of passing away to a small child (3yo specifically)? My mom’s dog, who my son adores, suddenly passed away today. They live in the US but we visit a lot, so when we go there & her dog isn’t there he will definitely be confused so obviously best to get ahead of it. How do you explain the concept of dying/death to a child? I’m not good with this sort of thing 🙈💔

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11

Are there areas of your house you don't let your kids go?

I'm having trouble aligning with my husband on household boundaries with our toddlers. We have no attic. We have an autistic teen whose room is on the top floor. His room is very spacious and stores Xmas decorations and out of season clothes.

To me, it seems like a space that can easily be boundaried off from the younger kids. My husband however, is inconsistent. So the kids get confused about whether they're actually allowed up there or not. They go and wake him up sometimes just to get a toy that doesn't belong to them. He seems to think it's a rule for the sake of a rule, but I find it convenient to have a place I can hide things from them - and I find it stressful to not have one.

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6

Custody

My dear friend is working on a plan to separate from her Fiance. They have a toddler together. What does she need to know before starting this process?

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