Community Posts, Tips & Support on Adoption, Fostering & Surrogacy

Honest, unfiltered, and in real-time: what women like you are talking about. Peanut group chats, support, and posts on Adoption, Fostering & Surrogacy

I feel guilty for not giving my child a sibling

I really wanted too at one point (he’s nearly 2) but me and his father aren’t in a good place, he still doesn’t sleep well and I’ve basically been a solo mum and found it so hard.
I’ve came to the conclusion with everything how it is atm that we wouldn’t be having another baby which means my son will grow up with no siblings and part of me can’t help but feel guilty about that … 😢

I know there’s pros and cons of it all and you don’t miss what you’ve never had as they say. But I’ve got siblings and I’d love him to have someone to share his childhood with but it just isn’t practical right now for me.

I’m nearly 30 and the hopes of me finding someone else to want to have a child with in the future is unlikely so my only chance would be with my current child’s father and we just are so on and off I don’t think it’s going to happen and it kinda breaks my heart ..

Giving up the dummy..

Has anyone had trouble giving up the dummy? Weve gone cold turkey tonight and its been hard. Itll all be worth it right? RIGHT?

Adopt

Does anyone want to adopt my newborn .. a good family or mom or someone who can’t conceive his name is Chozen. He is due September 9th.

Giving him up for adoption

Family is horrible I’m giving him up then I’ll take myself out hope they find these messages left behind on my phone I applied for section 8 they never got back to me there is no escaping this horrible home and family I would do it now but I would be taking a innocent child’s life but rape baby so I no longer care I don’t care about life psych wards don’t help I’m just gonna take a whole bunch of ibuprofens

Hot take

If you wouldn't be able to adopt a baby you shouldn't make a baby

Did/will any mamas here choose NOT to allow visitors to hold their newborn baby?

I don't know what it is but I really don't want to pass my baby around like a parcel this time around (second baby). I didn't mind it so much last time because it was all new to me, but something in me has changed. Maybe it's because I feel resentment toward both mine and my husband's family as they're so selfish and haven't given us any support yet expect us to hand over our baby like they are some sort of accessory. Wondering if we could try and avoid people holding her - has anyone tried similar?

Anyone else having issues with Amazon losing your returns?

Fuming...
This is the 2nd return that they have lost on their end, I have all the proof that I returned it to the post office and it was picked up by the carrier... Yet it says lost again and they are refusing to help, every time I write them they extend the deadline by 14 days 😑 they owe me over £100. Just wondering if anyone else has had similar issues? Seems like they are just scamming twats now, and yes I would do a charge back but unfortunately they keep changing the date on my refund so my bank will just tell me to wait

Dont want more kids?

Ok, so I am a 35 year old first time mom. My baby is 3 months old.
When i was younger i always thought I would have many kids but as I grew older the number kept going down. We have tried for our first baby for a 4 years and she finally came. During the 4 years of trying i got to a point and said if I am nit pregnant by 35 I would not have any kids. I am so blessed fir our little girl but is it weird for me to already think i dont want any more?
I already feel "old" and not physically fit and I really want to be there for my kid.
Anyone else felt the same? How do you truly know you are done having kids? Why do people always ask - whens the next?? Like 1 kid is not normal.
Am I being selfish by not giving my daughter a sibling?

Chicken pox!

How did this start for you & what can I expect? 😳

Baby number 2 incoming

So we are trying for baby number two.

But I’m nervous . Don’t get me wrong I’m so excited to give my son 18m old a sibling he will be two and a bit by the time a new baby gets here but I’m scared he won’t like having a sibling or scared he will feel replaced

I will love my baby’s equally and he will forever be my first but I know we want one more baby to complete our family.

I need positive from other mum in this same situation or have there 2 baby already.

I think I need to know that he won’t feel replaced or like he comes 2nd because I don’t want him to feel that way.

Dad bonding

My partner is struggling to bond with baby he’s less than 48hrs old but I’m struggling how to support him / help him bond. Does anyone have any suggestions?

Struggles with living in a world that doesn’t always accept mixed race children

Hey mommas,
I’m currently a single first time mom to a 6 month old little boy. I’m white and his dad is Mexican. I know it takes up to or sometimes even over a whole year for melanin to fully develop, but my son is currently very pale and has been since he was born. I love him regardless but I get snide or rude comments often that people are surprised he isn’t darker or that he’s mixed. To some he’s not white enough cause he’s half Mexican and to others he isn’t Mexican enough cause he’s so white. How do yall navigate in a world like this where our babies aren’t just seen for what they are? Blessings. Like as a white woman I will never claim to know the struggles he will go through but I wanna do what I can to support him and myself through this journey. I mean he’ll even his dad makes comments about how he’s so white and are we sure he’s his. Mind you paternity has been confirmed and his dad chooses to not be in his life so.

Did anyone stop the dummy? Literally called turkey and had success?

I’ve just done this myself (I know much delayed) so far on the second day it seems to be going well. Hoping it stays a success. Did anyone do this cold turkey and it carried on working?

Thanks

Sadness

I’m giving my baby up for adoption and I feelll so sad I want to keep my child but financially I can’t do it and I don’t have no support my mother helps with the kids I have now it’s not like the help that I need. She doesn’t watch them Nothing all she do is be there and I can’t really put responsibilities on her because she is not their father I already have three kids, and this will be my fourth. I feel like such a letdown and a failure.

Does your partner actually enjoying being a parent?

I don’t mean having the label of being a dad. I don’t mean the fun times. I mean everything that comes with raising children. Basic care/hygiene, feeding meals/bottles, settling for sleep, helping them learn etc.

I feel like my partner would rather leave it all to me, I see no real passion or excitement when it comes to our children. When I see glimpses, it’s very short lived

Collecting Colostrum

Now that most of us have hit close to 37 weeks, has anyone started collecting colostrum? I turned 37 weeks last Wednesday and have tried a few times with no success. I have only been doing hand expression so far since I have not had more than a drop or two. I am curious if you started collecting and at what point, day/week, you noticed more production? I hope this question makes sense.

Parenting challenges

What’s the one thing you wish you had more help, support or guidance with when it comes to your child? How old is your child? ❤️

Day 6 post transfer negative any hope

This is my third euploid 5AA! First two implanted and chemical.. I’m losing hope. Any success stories please.

Another baby

A quick question to you all, did you feel ready to have another baby? Months ago I was a no to having another one, but the more I look back at baby videos of my daughter, I feel like I’d love to relive that stage (mentally prepared this time lol!)

Mums who have 2 children or expecting, what’s it like? Is it hard? The one thing that is stopping me is that I don’t want my daughter to feel ‘left out’ (which would never happen).

Love for an adopted child

I want to start by saying this post is purely hypothetical and meant to be thought provoking. I’d like everyone to please be respectful and not argue or attack anyone for their opinions.

I was curious about the topic because I’ve always thought that one day I might want to adopt a child. I have a lot of love in my heart to give and would love to offer that love to a child in need. As of now I have no plans to make this a reality though, and I have a child who I gave birth to.

I constantly find myself looking at my child with so much love and adoration and thinking “god you’re so perfect I can’t believe I made you” which made me wonder…..could I feel this same type of love for a child I’ve adopted?

This leads to my question. Do you think you have it in you to equally love an adopted child the same way you’d love your other child you birthed?