Community Posts, Tips & Support on Adoption, Fostering & Surrogacy

Honest, unfiltered, and in real-time: what women like you are talking about. Peanut group chats, support, and posts on Adoption, Fostering & Surrogacy

I'm so not meant to be a mother.

My kids won't listen to me get into stuff when they know they aren't supposed to. Telling me no all the time. Only listen to their dad. Laughs when I correct them. I spend most of my time yelling at them because they don't want to listen to me at all. My husband said that I shouldn't have kids. And I am believing him on it. I was never meant to be a mother now. I won't hurt my kids I just want to disappear and make everyone else's lives better without me.

Can baby mamas be friends?

My son has an older brother from his biodad. Biodad has never had contact with my son. One thing lead to another though and the other child's mother and I got in contact and are planning a meeting for the boys. Biodad has no idea any of this has happened. Biodad also hasnt had contact with the other child in about 2 years. Just thoughts, opinions, anyone been through something similar?
Edit-Thank you all! Have definitely been feeling somewhat weird about it because we never met before but now know it can be a good thing definitely helps. I can't wait for them to meet. My son has been asking for a brother and I can now happily tell him he has one. That just happens to be 13. Im sorry for yall that fight/have issues with the other baby mamas. Sadly some women rather be stuck on the men, when the kid is the one who really matters. They're the ones that end up getting hurt and missing out.

37 weeks. Collecting colostrum?

I’m 37 weeks tomorrow.

Have you started collecting colostrum yet? If so how’s it going and do you have any tips? ❤️

The hardest part about having no village

We hear moms talk all the time about not having a village and how parenting is just awful without having support. But I think the worse part about not having a village is watching my kid have no friends. I remember growing up and having cousins to play with, and my parents friends kids. There were always people around. But my kid, he has no one. I had kids late in life so the friends I had when I was pregnant all had kids much older than mine. My brothers kids are much older than mine. Now, those same friends dont talk to me anymore. Even if they did, their older kids probably wouldn't want to play with mine. Its hard watching my child be so desperate for friends that he latches onto whatever kid at the park he can find. He instantly calls them his friend, even if they are being mean to him. His "friends" are his stuffed animals. Thats who he has to play with. I've tried making mom friends with moms who have kids the same age, and it never works out. I've talked to moms at the park, even exchanged numbers and nothing. I dont really care that i have no friends. But my heart hurts for my son. We even had another baby just so he would have one constant kid to play with. But it took us longer than we wanted to get pregnant, and his brother is still a baby so hes not much fun yet. He's in school now, so I thought maybe he would make friends there, but when I try to talk to moms of his classmates to maybe set up playdates, I dont get anywhere there either. I dont know what I wanted to come from this post, just sharing my thoughts I guess. Maybe other moms can relate.

This is for my moms with 2+ kids only!

I need advice. I'm 4 and a half months PP and have recently been having feelings about wanting to try for our second because i've always wanted my kids close in age, and being a mom is just the best thing i've ever done with my life. However, i keep having thoughts that my son will feel left out or he'll feel abandoned or feel like he's not getting as much attention, and the thought of that alone breaks my heart and makes me hesitate on having another. I don't know what to do. How did your first born adjust to having a sibling?

Delivery with a child

Soo I’m expecting again after 10 years ( welp ) unplanned……. My daughter really wants to be In the room. I keep telling her she doesn’t and it might be too much for her as she gets squirmy with watching needles, or blood in movies etc. I’ve found a few educational videos online to show her what it looks like to give birth and all the stuff that comes out with baby and after. She still insists on being In the room. Has anyone gone through this with their child with this much of an age gap? What did you do? If you allowed them, how did it go?

Struggling

I really hate my babies’ dad more and more, so much I’m finding it hard to want to stay alive and we live together. The only thing keeping me is not wanting my babies raised by him. 😭😭😭

Why do people tell people who don’t want kids to have them?

Don’t get me wrong, I love my baby with all my heart. He was a ‘by chance’ baby, I had the copper coil when I got pregnant and had previously thought I never wanted kids. But I love him with all my heart and there is nothing in the world I wouldn’t do for him! He turned a career driven woman into a mum who just wants to be there for him as a SAHM.

But this shit is hard! And while I wouldn’t change a thing now….i still know that my life prior was so much easier. I didn’t know this love, so I wasn’t missing this love. It’s something that people who aren’t parents and don’t want to be could never comprehend. Therefore….my brother for example, really doesn’t want kids! But recently got in a new relationship. I told him don’t do it 😂 it’s hard! But most parents tell others who don’t want kids to do it. Can I ask why? Have they forgotten how easy life was before?

Help

So when my time comes to give birth I don’t have anyone to watch my toddler. I’m not sure what to do in this situation knowing toddlers aren’t allowed in the delivery room.

'I don't see your baby enough'

Anyone else so OVER hearing digs about not seeing their baby enough?! It's the MIL, it's my own grandparents, it's extended family. Yet when you do bring baby to see them, it's in their completely unbaby friendly home and they just sit there watching and saying ooh watch him on that corner, watch that door etc.
It is stressful enough having a very active 10 month old without receiving pressure from other people.
I think it's hard (but amazing) being a mum and really wish people understood that you don't need another voice in your ear telling you what to do

ghosting bd

would i be wrong for ghosting my bd after having my daughter and after our other kids birthday ?

Anyone else here have a fear or anxiety of their kids being kidnaped?

I'm currently going through a phase of kidnaping fear.

I have a girl and we are out at for example the park I'm constantly checking for predators, worried my child will be taken away if I loose eye with her.

I will sometimes dress her as boy when we are out.

Agree or disagree

iPad kids are a form of neglect and it’s borderline abusive

To have a second child or not ?

Hi lovely ladies, im looking for advice on how you decided to have a second child - I am so confused as I have neither defo decided for or against having a second child as i have so many pros and cons for both
But… i had a really traumatic birth which has meant intimacy has been really hard for me physically and mentally even now almost 3 years later, this has put a bit of a strain on the relationship as well as day to life of my partners business and day to day life…but the thought of never doing it again makes me feel so sad and know my boy would love a little friend especially as we are home schooling

also how on earth do you love a second child how you love your first born?! 😅

Decision on another child

I have a two years old daughter, we want to try for another one, but I think I will live in guilt everyday, feeling I am unable to give the undivided attention to any of them, and can’t be there 100% for them when they both need me, how do others get over guilt like this and still make the decision to have a second child? 🙏🙏🙏

how do you guys do it

what gets you through the day
especially with young kids
how do you stay calm when necessary
how do you be a good model for your children how do you make sure everything is remembered and kept on top of and still feel like yourself like you’re human at the end of the day
i feel like i’m not coping sometimes

MAT leave

Has anyone started mat leave yet? Or when is everyone going off?

No village?

Hey! So I’m a ftm and I have little to no “village” I lost my mom the same week my son was born and she was going to be my support system so now it’s basically just me and my husband.

I love him to pieces but it’s HARD everyone says “it takes a village to raise a child” but what happens when you don’t have one? I feel like it’s impossible some days.

How do I find a village or how do I cope best? Does anyone else relate?

Everything was running all too smoothly... back in hosp with jaundice on day 5 🙄

Sleepless night in a ward tonight for me. Fingers crossed its only a 24 hour visit 🤞

Hes absolutely loving his sunbathing session though.

Second time moms

Are there any second time moms who are going to have their first born visit you in the hospital to meet their sibling? My husband and I were talking about maybe not having our son come visit because he is very attached to me and hasn’t been away from me since he was born. I’d hate to have him come see me for a bit and then have him go home without me, it would crush him. What are you guys doing and what do you think is best?