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Fear of not loving your second child?!

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Hmm I guess this happens to some moms. I don’t understand how you can even think you can’t love your second child as much as your first. I already can’t wait for a second baby. Never really heard about this though

I think that’s a more normal fear than most people talk about. Im sure it would be hard to give your second child as much time and attention as your first got. I know when I first had my daughter I was like “how could I ever love anything as much as you”. Once you have another child you love them just as much but I think that’s not an abnormal thought that go through some parents minds before they have another one.

I absolutely was terrified about this, my first was so perfect I couldn’t imagine how I’d love someone that wasn’t a carbon copy of him. 16 weeks on and I love him just as much and do from the minute he was born ( i know not everyone bonds with a baby immediately). I think it is quite a common fear among second time mums, although I didn’t worry about this until near the due date.

The love for the second baby, at least for me. Was different from my first. Though it’s the same kind of love. If that makes sense. Like biting into some chocolate ice-cream and loving it. Then biting into some strawberry, and loving that just as much. I enjoy both chocolate and strawberry equally even though they are different flavors. Still they are both ice cream. I feel like I’m close, did that make sense?! 🤣

4 replies

Makes total sense. I feel the same way

This...!

i am absolutely terrified of this .... my second will be born in 2 weeks and i am so scared idk what to do ...

2 replies

You got this mama! I had the same fears 💛

I was wondering this myself. I don't have an actual fear, but just can't imagine that this baby is a different person. We are so involved with our son at the moment, and just a few weeks he will become a big brother. I have been more focused on preparing him for the adjustment that I'm not as connected with the pregnancy this time. I mean, I can't ignore the pregnancy but it's just so hard to imagine.

1 reply

Same, before my second baby came I was very focused on my first. She was only 4 months old when I got pregnant again, so naturally I was focused on witnessing her milestones. But the second one came and having my husband helped a lot. But you learn to balance them both. My second is 10 months now. It’s easier than I thought to balance the two, but they definitely try me lol 🙄

Is such a natural fear because you already know the first one and don't know what to expect from the second one... But don't worry, you will love all your children in the same intensity but in a very individual way. Promise!

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I have a 15 years old that I raised by myself. Was just me and him against the world. Eventually I got married and now I have a toddle. I love my baby w all my heart but I’m not sure if I’m going to have the same kind of connection w him. I feel guilt about it, but is just different cenários, now I share the love w dad, I share attention... is different. Still moms love, but a different kind.

I was really scared of that at the beginning of this second pregnancy. I can't really get my head around the fact that I will feel the same absolute love as I feel for my first child. Hearing about all the parents who went through the same fear reassured me a lot.

I felt the same way after my first.... I always wanted two kids but I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to love my second nearly as much. My daughter was an angel, rarely cried and learned everything super fast. I found out I was pregnant when my daughter was 4 months old. I was scared the entire pregnancy of this exactly. Once my son was born every fear faded, I can't say it would be the same for everyone, but that's how it was for me. I love him just as much as I love her. ❤

Love doesn’t divide, it multiplies ❤️

it is a diffrent kind of love specially since the first is specail needs and the other is a normal child..... but still love them equally

Had the same exact fears when I was pregnant with my second. Would I love him the same ? How am I going to share my love with both children ? The minute he was born it was just natural. Now I can’t imagine our lives without him, he completes our family 💙💕💕

I was so scared I wouldn’t be able to love anyone more than my first baby! But now my heart is too full! It works out perfectly and a even amount of love! What helps is that they both love each other so much!

This hits home. I know I’ll love our second baby, but my first is just my whole world, and I have a hard time imagining how my heart has room for more of that kind of love.

I’m 30 weeks with baby number 2! We are doing ok but we really have to make our $ stretch. We can swing another munchkin. I have been saving to make sure the new little one doesn’t only have hand me downs. I don’t think it is fair. I don’t want the little one to feel like they are losing our. Don’t know if this makes sense to anyone else.

1 reply

Ya but they are not old enough to understand

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I'm not pregnant yet but that's my fear about getting pregnant again.

Never was my fear. If u can love multiple partners or family members why would u have a fear of loving multiple children u bear in your womb? I’m on baby 3 and it never crossed my mind.

Every mom feels tht bc the love u have for ur children is so much how cld u possibly love anyone as much as them. Let me tell you..4 kids in.. u learn tht wow I can truly love someone just as much but in a different way. This is something no txt book can ever explain. It's a feeling of love tht only moms feel once they have children. I mean we literally give life to a tiny person made from the love u share w someone else. Or by someone u just met lol or an ex maybe lol or whatever the situation may be. A moment of attraction. A few moments of perfection ba da BOOM ba da bing we (women) give life to a little thing. You wont love the 2nd one the exact same as baby 1 but u will love him/her JUST AS MUCH. promise. Like I said. I. 4 kids deep over here. I've learned a thing or two. Good luck mama. Ur on track and feel Exactly What every momma feels. Yay.

This is how I felt. I wouldn’t even touch my belly I didn’t feel connected to my second and I felt so bad because I thought when she was born she would feel it but as soon as she was born the love was there. And for my third I knew that it was nonsense I love all my kids the same just different kind of love.

Yes! I’ve been through this before but not my heart is even more complete with my second.

It never crossed my mind, I love all of my children they are all special and all loved

I just had my second baby and I love her more everyday 💕

This was always my fear!! As it was just my son and I for so long and we were very close! In August my daughter was born (aka baby number 2 ) after 10 years of Loving baby number 1... And let me tell you... It's incredible how you can love them both and not a single one more then the other!! I honestly didn't think it was possible but I was proved wrong!!

Every parent has a favorite child. But no child will make you love the other less. Children after the first can never give you the exact same high as the first. But don’t sweat it. Just love your babies people 💕

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