Am I a bad partner for having ptsd, ppd, and ppa

I just had my 2nd child and I'm struggling with ptsd, ppd, and ppa. I was very sick my whole pregnancy. My partner says he needs a break from me being sick and is going to leave and go out of town for a few days. I'm not mental well enough to be by myself, but lately he is always leaving me alone, never asks how I am, frequently says he needs "me time" and goes over to friends for hours. If I have a bad moment he gets frustrated with me. When I told him I felt like hurting myself he said he was going to call and have me put in the hopsital/an institution. I have no safe place with him when my mental illness gets bad. I feel like a huge burden on him and I'm suffocating in depression, intrusive thoughts, and anxiety. I'm waiting for a call from a postpartum therapist, and I've taken all the steps to get help. I don't understand how he can just leave me to fight this by myself when I'm sick from carrying and birthing and caring for our 2 children. He's left me all alone and made me feel like I'm sick on purpose. He tells me to think about him, or says "what about me? I'm important too" and makes me feel like shit when I do try to go to him for support. He has random moments where he will cuddle me, but as of late he's just eager to get the hell out of the house and to criticize or get frustrated when I'm down or anxious. He told me my thought processes aren't right, and that I react to everything poorly. I have no idea what to do anymore. I'm so scared. I can't battle postpartum ptsd, depression, and anxiety by myself.

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Hi, first of all I am sorry you have to go through this. I just want to give you the biggest hug, and put on head phones so you can let out the LOUDEST scream. I want to commend you for seeking help, that is the biggest step you can take, admitting that you need help. I hope you get the help that you need professionally. Do you have anyone else around you for support? Mother, mother in law, sisters, cousins, close friends? Other moms in the area? I know that w Covid, it’s been difficult to connect w people in person. But I really hope for you to have a village of people you can rely on, to take care of the kids while you take care of yourself. I’m sorry, my heart just aches for you. I’m crying as I’m writing this. I’m not sure where you’re located, maybe you’re close, maybe you’re not. I suffered from ppd w my first, and did not seek the help that I needed until my son was 18mo old.Waited way too long, but I remember the feelings,the sadness, the anger,the crying, so I feel you

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My parents are watching our girls. My partner messages my mom a lot and I have no idea what discussions they have about me behind my back. He makes me feel like I am absolutely insane and should be able to control it, and I'm afraid my mother thinks the same. I spend my days alone, without my kids for now, and my partner is usually gone out, or gaming, or he's frustrated with me and I have to wait for him to calm down so I can get some affection or spend time with him. I am facing blank walls on all sides and I don't know what to do. I'm terrified to leave him and go live with my parents- our relationship is rocky as well. And I'm afraid my partner will tell people about my illnesses and make me seem like I'm an unfit mother. I am terrified of losing my children. While I was pregnant he told me that if I got sick again with postpartum that he'd take our kids and leave. It's like I keep trying to sit down only for someone to pull the chair out from under me because he can be so loving...until he's had enough

My advise as someone how also has struggled and still does struggle with it, is your husband is an asshole. If you have family that would help you take care of yourself I say take a break from your husband and move in with people who will support you more. I moved back in with my parents when I got really bad because my boyfriend couldn't help me alone. It takes a village so try asking family/friends you are close to if they are willing to help you through this time. Good luck momma ❤️

2 replies

How can he say he is afraid of you being alone and then leave you alone what an idiot 😅 I'm guessing if you ask for you time he gives you a hard time for that 🙄 horrible. Do you have an outlet to de-stress at all? It took me a while to find something that distracted me from bad thoughts (I bought a punching bag and just hit that when I'm in a mood not 100% but it helps)

He tells me he's "afraid" to leave me alone, and so I have to hide how I feel and try to mask everything because he's told me he needs to go out and have time for himself and needs a break from me..he keeps trying to send me to my parents for "my own good". He makes me feel like I'm a lunatic. In all honesty, I don't feel comfortable being home alone because I'm so depressed, anxious, and have intrusive thoughts..I thought he would want to be with me and take care of me the same I do for him when he's sick. He makes me feel guilty when I suggest he should want to stay with me if I'm particularly down, saying he has to be able to have a life too, and that he's just tired from dealing with me and thinks I should leave and live with my parents. I can feel how desperately he wants me gone, but he's portraying a completely different persona to my family and they think im living with the most caring person in the world. He acts so sweet when he comes home just to make me feel even shittier and confused.

2892604422 text me xo

This is so unfair, so wrong on so many levels. Like the mama below, feel free to text me as well, anytime. Even if it’s just to vent, or you just need a reassurance that “you got this” I’m here mama. 6479990865. You are not a lunatic, you are a wonderful mother who just needs treatment and most of all SUPPORT. This community is here for you❤️. And so am I