Am I terrible for not planning to breastfeed?

I don’t think you are terrible but from my own experience I can say that I regret that I didn’t try harder to breastfeed I don’t know deep down in my heart I have this guilty feeling buuut in the other hand I express milk and feed my baby girl with a bottle for me it was a solution for both of us - I didn’t get stuck with breastfeeding and with that I could catch up with some sleep or have a longer shower or even a nice hot meal and I have the peace of mind that she is getting all the amazing benefits of breastmilk. It’s been 4 months exclusively pumping. You should do what you feel like doing because at the end it’s you going through and not your partner’s family. Good luck mama with whatever you decide! x

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Please don’t feel guilty ! You are breastfeeding ! But with a bottle which is even harder than direct breastfeeding you are super woman I exclusively pumped till 11/12 months with my first much harder than when I breastfed my son! Be proud of your self you are amazing

I’m a exclusive pumper too! My baby stopped latching but knowing she has the benefits of my milk makes me happy!!! You should do what makes you happy and your baby happy. P

It’s your choice, you may feel different when baby arrives, so no harm in trying and if it’s not for you then it isn’t. I know a few mums who the thought grossed them out but when the baby came it wasn’t what they expected so they ended up either exclusively breastfeeding or formula and breast feeding. You could even pump if direct breastfeeding isn’t for you. Essentially whatever you do, make sure you don’t regret your choice and if your sure then so be it. It’s odd to me that you’ve told so many people that you’ve had so many comments I didn’t really think it gets brought up. No one ever asked me how I planned on feeding lol If someone else asks you just say you don’t know yet. I understand your partner wanting a say in how his child is fed. You both should try to compromise like formula fed mostly and one pumped bottle baby ? Goodluck.

I thought I would be a formula mom since I was formula fed myself. Once my little came and the lactation consultant came in my room I was full speed ahead breast milk. I supplement with formula as my supply decreased and because my little is preemie and needs some things I don’t make for her. Breastfeeding is the ultimate comfort to my little. I can’t almost always guarantee a good nap or a snuggle. Don’t count it out. Do whichever works best for you and your family.

I didn’t breastfeed any of mine. Just couldn’t. Even didn’t try as I knew I don’t want to do that. For me it wasn’t an option as my head was just I can’t do it. So for my mental health and wellness I just didn’t. One midwife tried to convince me to do it but I just said no. For most of the women it’s a natural thing to do for me it was just something I couldn’t do. If you don’t want to it’s your choice don’t let anyone to get to you.

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Most woman I’ve spoke to the whole natural thing to do is a myth . For me it was weird at first lol but I’m glad I did it in the end I’m glad you did what was best but I don’t want any mum feeling weird if it didn’t come natural for them at first

You are not a terrible mom at all! However, you may feel differently once Baby is born and keeping an open mind can’t cause harm. Formula does provide all the necessary nutrients, but colostrum especially is important for newborns, and breast milk has sooo many other benefits as well. Have you considered pumping or even donor milk? Is there a specific reason you have decided to exclusively formula fees from the beginning?

I chose not to breastfeed as well and so many people tried convincing me to breastfeed, I just paid no attention. My son is now 6 months old and he has a great bond with his dad as well as me. I don’t regret not breastfeeding as it worked for me. I think people should keep their negative comments to themselves

No!!! Not at all!! Breastfeeding definitely is NOT for everyone!

No!! Not at all!! It’s not for everyone and I certainly do not intend to do it as i just wouldn’t feel comfortable. Your body, your baby! I formula fed my other two children and they are both fine. Please don’t feel you have to do something because of others 💕

First off you arent terrible for not planning to breastfeed. It's your body it's your choice. They have formula now that is like breast milk. I gave up breastfeeding my first child because I didn't feel comfortable I didn't go through what your going through with my significant others family so I cant imagine. I am sorry that's happening. It is your choice. Is his family going to be helping you with late night feedings?

Breast feeding is HARD WORK. Do what's best for you, as long as baby is healthy and happy that's all that matters.

Breast feeding is HARD WORK. Do what's best for you, as long as baby is healthy and happy that's all that matters.

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I found breastfeeding easier than formula feeding once you get past the new born phase. I’ve formula fed and breastfed so I guess it depends on the person

I felt guilty for a short time but eventually I knew it wasnt right for me. I was judging myself for it until I gave up doing that and wrote down pros and cons and why I felt like formula feeding was best. It made things clearer. And also telling myself that it's no ones body but my own and no ones business !

I’m also not breastfeeding I just didn’t think that it was for me. My sisters judged me about and sometimes make me feel bad about it so I understand how you feel.

I didn't breastfeed! Never had any intention to. My 5 month old boy is doing great. You got this! Do what you like 😁

Why don’t you want to do it?

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She said in the post she didn’t feel comfortable, it’s just not for everyone. That to me is reason enough 👍

Just make sure you do all your research now before you make a firm decision like that you are protecting yourself from regret and guilt down the line if you come across some benefits that you did not know about.

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I think it's okay not to try. I had a really hard time with my daughter and it affected my mental health. So I only breast fed a couple weeks. So if we have another I'm not going to try.

Well said mama, I feel like everyone is jumping on the bandwagon on this one when it’s a pretty big decision to just say I’m not doing it I’m not trying it, honestly it’s best for all babies, and I thought that was the most important thing what’s best for baby.

Breastfeeding not only benefits your baby but also you! There’s many studies out there that connect BFing with decreases in cancers and other chronic diseases.

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There have also been recent studies on the stem cells in breastmilk which benefit a baby for a lifetime! Its really interesting to read about! They have even been using breastmilk to help preemies with brain damage by inserting it through the nostril up to the brain, they are seeing improvements!

Yeah I'll definitely take the decrease in chance of breast cancer. Plus breastfeeding is free food 😆 maybe I'm cheap but that was a pretty good reason for me!

Nope I never even thought about breast feed ing any of my babies my 1st I pumped for medical reasons but my other children I didn't even consider it I'm not a bad mummy and my kiddies are happy & healthy xx

I don’t think you’re terrible but maybe you shouldn’t make this decision until the baby is here. Breastfeeding has great benefits and it’s better for baby. I mean until you can’t breastfeed at all I think you should think about it some more..

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Bit judgmental?! If she doesn’t want to, she doesn’t want to. Poor woman has enough of this with her in laws going on at her.. she’s not looking for comments like this. A lot of people aren’t comfortable with breastfeeding (me included) so why should she have to think about it some more if she’s already feeling pressured and doesn’t feel comfortable? That’s just putting her under more pressure!

Chill out jade. I left a comment for her if she doesn’t like it let her tell me and that’s her problem. I was not being judgmental. Y’all be getting mad sensitive cuz there are women out there that actually breastfeed and know it’s better to do so but just because YOU didn’t I should tell her not to? . I can leave an opinion anywhere I please if you don’t like it BLOCK ME

No- and never justify this decision. Do what is best for you, what is best for mom is best for baby. It didn’t work for me and my baby. I didn’t enjoy it, I tried it. The stress hormones that I was producing and potentially feeding to my baby wasn’t worth it, so I stopped after 3 months. At the end of the day it is your mental health and your child. My daughter is doing just fine on formula.

Hey :) I’m a ftm and I always said I didn’t have any intentions of breastfeeding but after having such a difficult labour/birth I was kinda forced into it & it just stuck. At times it can be difficult especially in public it’s so awkward but you save so much money and it’s super convenient at night time lol x

I think its worth considering that babies are meant to have breastmilk, they are meant to have that extra immunological boost, the dose of white blood cells, stem cells, the antibodies, the added protection from allergies, from asthma, from obesity, from heart disease, from some cancers. Formula is an excellent substitute when breastfeeding is not possible but it does not give baby what their body is meant to have outside of nutrients. I honestly don’t think it should be a choice until after it is at least attempted, at least get baby that colostrum the first few days- there is a reason it is nicknamed babys first “vaccine”. It is incredibly important. If you cannot breastfeed, formula is awesome, if breastfeeding hurts your mental health, formula is awesome, if you are depriving baby of something they are meant to have because it makes you uncomfortable then do some research and figure out what about it makes you uncomfortable. The thing about motherhood is from the very beginning it is uncomfortable!

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Yes!!👏🏻❤️ if it’s a comfort issue it should def be approached and worked on. I understand not having the physical/anatomical ability as my sister went through a very hard time with this. However deciding it’s simply uncomfortable or not even attempting to make it work (unless advised by a medical professional for whatever reason), it is not right to take away the lifelong benefits to any baby. Breastfeeding caused me many nights of discomfort, angst and emotional pain. But I would never consider trading in the valuable benefits of bm for my own comfort. Granted formula fed babies are healthy too, the facts surrounding the benefits in comparison are indisputable.

I didn’t plan to as well then after baby was born was just easier honestly but it’s up to you and no one should make you feel like you should do something you don’t want to do. You just have to be prepared that even after baby is born people are gonna continually judge every parenting step you take but no one is perfect and you just have to trust you are doing the right thing for YOUR child! Good luck momma to be 💖

Fed is best! Don’t let anyone tell you how to parent your child. As long as he/she is happy and healthy you’re doing a great job mama!

No you’re not terrible! I’m pumping exclusively because I also don’t want to breast feed but I want my daughter to get my milk plus it saves so much money... but she’ll be 100% on bottle! :)

Fed is best. I’ve been exclusively pumping for 14 months now. Breastfeeding is not for everyone and it definitely takes a lot. But my advice for you if your man not going to buy formula I would suggest try and get wic they will provide you with formula.

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Yes its been hard thank you!

If it would make you unhappy to breastfeed then don’t do it. It worked out for us but I actually didn’t buy any nursing clothes until after giving birth in case it didn’t work out for whatever reason. Breastfeeding and pumping is also a huge time commitment and can add stress to your marriage as well. You absolutely deserve to make your own decision without feeling judged.

Just remember a fed baby is a happy baby. I truly planned on breastfeeding but unfortunately my body had other plans. I felt horrible but the doctor put me in my place by letting me know that it doesn’t matter if you breastfeed, formula feed, or both but as long as your baby is fed, full and happy is all that matters. Hope this helps

Don't feel bad at all! You are doing what YOU know is best for both your baby and yourself!

No, as long as your baby is fed it doesn’t matter!

Feed the baby. :) That is all mama. You are great!

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Ps if you want baby to have breast milk and you don’t want to nurse the baby yourself some hospitals offer donated breast milk and colostrum. It has been tested for drugs and alch so you know it’s safe. If you want to go that route you can just ask about it. Otherwise just feed that baby :)

Hospitals do not offer donated breastmilk to individuals that could pump the milk themselves but choose not to pump or breastfeed as there is many mums who can not breastfeed or pump who need the donated milk. This is atleast the case were I am. Do you not think the hospital would say fair enough you don’t want to breastfeed but if you want your baby to have donated milk or any breastmilk you can pump it your self. I didn’t know there is that much spare donated milk for it to be donated to people who can pump but just doesn’t want to.. I’ve donated milk in the past and that wasn’t an option for mums I know who just didn’t want to. I’m happy to learn something new that they now have such an abundance of donated milk that they can give it to someone who actually may have a healthy supply and not on meds that would stop them pumping.

At the beginning of I pregnancy I always said I would try breastfeeding. When my little guy arrived I tried it he latched great but was not getting enough. This put so much emotional stress on me I said nope not for me and I’m really happy with my decision what’s best for you and your baby is what’s best. I see my breastfeeding friends having to plan their pumping around everything and I hear about all the struggles that can go along with it I know my choice was right.

It IS ok for you to decide to formula feed from the beginning. However, I do encourage you to research the benefits of breast feeding, even if it is just for a few months. Breast feeding can be difficult and uncomfortable at times, but the rewards far outweigh the disadvantages for majority of women. Breast milk is liquid gold for your baby, it is full of everything your baby needs to thrive, it helps to protect your baby from illness by providing your baby with antibodies, stem cells and other amazing components. There are many support groups for breast feeding mothers You could also consider mixed feeding (feeding formula and breast milk), even just a little bit of breast milk each day is an advantage for your babe!

I'm so glad I came across this post... My baby is almost 4weeks old, and I'm mix feeding because my little one needed top ups after he was in special care.. And occasionally I still do as my bubs seems to still be hungry after a boob feed. I hated the stigma around what you should ans shouldn't do.. But now I feel as long as he's not hungry I'm doing a good job. My milk is slowly running out so soon I will have no choice

You are absolutely fine. There’s way to much societal pressure and as a woman who has been breastfeeding with very little issues it’s still SO HARD and has been emotionally exhausting. While I know it’s great for the baby, sometimes I feel like it can be a female ego thing: “I made it *this long* breastfeeding.” Do what makes you the most comfortable and stay the course. You’re doing great. This whole experience is already so hard as it is.

I tried breastfeeding for two weeks. I really wanted to breastfeed my little one, but I never produced enough milk. I cried constantly those first two weeks, and so did he. The constant breastfeeding and pumping was awful! There is so much pressure to breastfeed. People kept telling me to “stick it out” and “your milk will com in eventually”. I wanted to tell those people they didn’t know my body, and didn’t know what I was going through emotionally. My babies pedi was great. He said whatever makes me happy and emotionally stable is what I should do for my baby. So we are straight formula now. I still feel sad about not being able to breastfeed, but my baby is fed and gaining weight. I wish people would back off the breast is best crap. Fed and a happy momma are best!!

I feel you should atleast give it a try and if you absolutely hate it or it’s not good for your mental health quit. Nothing is wrong with formula. My daughter breastfed for 11 months then my milk went away so she had formula for the last month. Ultimately it’s your choice. Don’t let anyone guilt you or make you feel some type of way.