Michelle

Maternal Mental Health stigma?☁️

Hey mamas. I’ve seen a lot of posts recently about mental health, depression and anxiety related to becoming a mama. Do you think more needs to be done to help new mothers talk about mental health? Should we be able to talk about it more openly? What was your experience?
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Agree! Depression/anx is the NUMBER ONE complication of pregnancy. Not gestational diabetes, not preeclampsia. Depression. It’s NOT talked about enough, and it is stigmatized. It’s not “just the baby blues”.

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Exactly.

Completely agree. It should be talked about more an openly. I’ve suffered from anxiety and depression for year. But once I had children it go a lot worse. I’m not blaming them for it. Just the chemicals in my body I guess. Idk. But I thought I was going crazy. But I’m not 😂😂 thank God

Our daughter was adopted so I personally did not deal with PPD, but a couple of my friends did. It broke my heart. 2 were so scared to even bring it up to their dr. They felt embarrassed and also like they wouldn’t get help or support. I feel It should be something that is brought up at every appmt. We all know that being “healthy” isn’t just physical - it’s also mental. Both go together and both should be addressed without judgement!!

I've had mental health issues from before motherhood. Becoming a mom didn't exactly make them worse it just was different and still really frikin hard.

The more you talk about your problems the more you feel in control about them. When my daughter was a baby I felt so alone because I didn't know the ppd was a thing. Once I reached out I felt better

We have to be more open about it and mental health in general because it is such a stigma and a lot of people say it's hormones or that we are just nagging pissing and moaning women when in reality something really is wrong

Something needs to change. Not sure how but there has got to be a better support system for moms. Not everyone has somebody they can talk to. I don't know about anyone else but I am In a situation where anytime I try to discuss my mommy strugles with my family they tell me "She is such a good girl". They dont she the "real" child. She acts diffrent for me but nobody seems to care or even believe me. I feel alone and guilty for wanting to express my frustration. And then that leads to me thinking I am a bad mom for complaing about my daughter.

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I have ptsd from my mom/childhood too. Hang in there and hope things get better. Do you have a hobby or any type of art/crafting you like to do? Challenging to find the time, I know but maybe even if you have something artsy in the corner and work on it a little each day, then it’s something you’re creating just for you and might feel really awesome once it’s done. Just a thought.

I have ptsd from my own mother and no one seems to understand or even want to hear about my struggles. Most of my in laws write it off as drama but I am trying to get help. I'm alone. I have no friends. I have terrible anxiety about going out in public with my 3 kids under 4 y.o. And everyone calls me lazy when I try to explain the fear involved. Ptsd, depression, and anxiety all worsened after having my kids but hey, it's supposed to be the most magical thing life has to offer right? Ugh.

Yes!!! We need better postpartum care. Also during our pregnancy visits we should be warned about signs to watch for. PPD and PPA are not joke. I think obgyn, nurses etc. need to be better educated too. It’s hard to believe that’s its still a stigma with the posts we see on social media but it is! Insurance compagnies are also denying claims, even with medical proof, records and therapist support, confusing it with “normal baby blues”. It’s frustrating. We need more prevention. ♥️

Agree!!!! Personally I've always suffered with depression and anxiety and so I seeked help by getting a therapist. But my first couple therapist would tell me how if I say anything that even sounded like a threat to myself or anyone else they would have to get cps or someone like that involved. So when I got pregnant I was even more afraid to talk about my own thoughts and feelings. I think everyone experiences some scary thoughts as a mother but would never act on them but with the few mothers you hear about on the news who hurt their child it makes it hard to say things outloud to other people because we dont want to be looked at crazy and have our babies taken away

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You are so right! Negative thoughts happen. That’s life when you’re beyond stressed out and sleep deprived. But to voice these thoughts gets you an automatic call to CAS and probably committed. How can we be honest with ourselves and others. We want to resolve these thoughts. Not cover them up. Secrets damage our mental health.

Honestly, I think everyone should talk about mental health more, but especially moms need to....I personally have bipolar disorder and severe anxiety (diagnosed 6ish years ago)....luckily, I haven't really developed any additional issues since having my daughter 2 months ago....but I know how hard it is to cope with mental illness while having a newborn...it definitely helps to talk

I had depression while pregnant. 2 pcp, 1 perinatologist, and one crisis center all blew me off. For months. I was seeing a therapist, who with the support of one of my midwives, was finally able to convince the overseeing Dr that I needed a prescription. I was in tears most days out of frustration and anger. I was almost abusive to my now 3yo because I would get so angry at her, for simply behaving in an age appropriate way. It was very scary. More awareness needs to happen. I didn't realize that depression during pregnancy was a thing. I thought it was only after.

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I went through the same thing. I didn’t find out until my oldest was 7 and I took a lot of it out on him 💔 I feel ya! I have had three children already by the time I found out (2 years ago). Hope you’re doing better these days. Anger is one mofo when experiencing postpartum depression, anxiety

I'm too scared to open up about my mental health to prefessionals. I've always felt very judged and many people who don't understand mental health see a depressed or anxious mama as an unfit parent and it's a really horrible feeling to have. I feel like I can't talk to anyone about how I feel inside.

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I know how you feel. The first few weeks of my struggle with PPD I felt like I couldn't tell anyone - I was so worried others would see me as unfit to be a mom! Thoughts like that rob you of the joy of being a new mama. I hope you can find the courage to get the help you need, being on meds and talking with my Dr has really helped relieve my PPD symptoms. I'm here if you need to talk! I think the best therapy is finding another mama who you can relate to and realize everything you're going through is 100% normal!

Yes! I have PPD and had to request an evaluation. Hospital never warned me and I was too terrified of being labeled an unfit mother at first. I had a lot on my plate (finishing college classes, returning to the office after only 2 weeks, husband leaving for training for a month, etc.) all in my son’s first two months. A lot of love was given to our son from family, but no one really looked out for me.

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I hear ya! That’s why we need communities of mothers who bound together as support systems. It’s hard and experiencing mental health issues are that much harder when you’re a mom. Sending you love, I’m going through it too! Here for you.

Did not have any mental health issues till she was born then full ppd kicked in for about a yr. I stupidly did not get medication even though my obgyn gave me “just in case” prescription for Prozac. I initially didn’t have support— everyone told me it was the baby blues and my husband didn’t believe in depression (he eventually understood what was happening and became very supportive) Even though I’m not depressed anymore I think it’s permanently changed my mental health. I know I’m a lot closer to just losing it over something and my occasionally down days are much deeper. We need to talk about it more and explicitly discuss what’s just a bad day and depression.

I wish the my doctors had been more knowledgeable of support in the community to offer. Through my own ‘investigating’ I was able to find a very strong network in our community and could not believe the support that was available! I try to be the support for others that I was seeking before/during/after pregnancy!

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What did you research to find help in the community??

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I wish I was given more education on mental health during pregnancy. I’m suffering from PPD, and I’m struggling to become emotionally connected to my daughter. I think more education to newly expecting mothers is crucial. Not only to their children’s well-being but also themselves.

No one likes to talk about it. I’ve tried to open up to other new moms and either they haven’t experienced it or don’t want to talk about it so in order to not sound like an unfit mom, I just hold it all inside which is never fun (just ask my husband). If you are currently experiencing PPD, feel free to message me.

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Going through it too for the last two years now. I found out after having three children already! It’s tough!

Honestly, I have depression and anxiety & my doctors are caring for me jus how id like them too. I do believe it needs to be talked about to others though. Cause mental health is a very big deal.

Yeah I’ve suffered with anxiety and depression since I was 12 years old and once I had my son it became unmanageable and I had to be put on medication. Now I’m finding myself feeling the same way I did and once again I’m being ignored when asking for my medication to be changed so it can become more manageable. People won’t listen until it’s to late most times.

I struggle with postpartum depression with anxiety and mild ocd. I only found out a couple of years ago now, and I’ve already had three children. The oldest 7 at time, and the youngest barely turned one. It’s one that isn’t talked about enough. And it should be one definitely talked about more often by all moms whether you’re going through it, or not. Because it matters, and being moms and the ones who are in most cases the primary care givers, and every mom I feel eventually goes through some type of mental breakdown because motherhood is hard. We need to be able to have communities not just locally but one readily available to be able to count on each other and be there for one another. It is one so crucial in motherhood especially if one doesn’t have family or friends to depend on. Mother’s should have a village locally where they can be there for one another and to talk about things you wouldn’t be able to with your kids because you’re stuck at home or busy working.. whatever the circumstances are.

Education on this topic is one not every mother knows or is told at the hospital from the beginning. Our health care system doesn’t take the necessary steps to make sure they’re proactive with mom just as must as they are with the newborn in the first year. And a lot of the times this will go unnoticed because we’re so focused on the baby or the child(ren). But it is one not talked about enough and it is one prevalent and happens more than you know.

I’m 31 weeks pregnant and none of my friends have families yet. They’re in totally different parts of their lives. It feels lonely and when I start to vent about it to them I find myself keeping it all inside because I’m afraid that my pregnancy is all I ever talk about. It’s hard to get people who have never been pregnant to understand these kind of stressors. I feel it really helps to be able to open up to other pregnant women and moms. Because you find out that you’re not the only one who feels this way. I wish everyone could understand but it’s one of those things you can’t possibly relate to unless you’ve been there.

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Recent new mama and can relate / went thru similar phase .. curious how you are doing now?

I struggle with mental health and I'd say more needs to be done for mums. I was so scared to reach out incase I got my son taken off me, when you struggle with anxiety the fear of that is so real. You think you're the worst person in the world and that you can't possibly raise a tiny human if you're struggling to just live yourself. I don't know how they could change that but I do think something could be done differently

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I was the same. I was afraid to talk about the depression I was having bc it made me not really want to interact with my daughter. I thought people would judge more or worse I might get her taken away.

I have mental issues, they were around but not so noticable before children. After my first the depression, anxiety, and horrible self esteem was real. Took me until she was 2.5 years old to bump out of it and it all still lingers but daily we fight it off.

Absolutely! Not enough people understand the mental stress that goes along with motherhood!

I agree. The first few weeks were so tough on me and I felt so alone - I didn’t know that what I was feeling was actually very common. I began to think it was something wrong with me and I was just not cut out for being a mom. After about 6 weeks I think the hormones leveled out and I started feeling better. But I know a lot of people aren’t that lucky and ppd and ppa can last a year or more.

I suffered from anxiety since before i got pregnant. I think its very important specially during the process of pregnancy to have someone you can talk to. Speak with a therapist, partner, parent, even a friend. If anyone here needs someone to talk to please feel free to reach out to me 💕

I got put in hospital on a mother and baby unit for postnatal psychosis xx

Since having a second c sec I am feeling overwhelmed and highly emotional about everything. And My partner is lacking somewhat the emotional support I need because there is no one else I have around to talk about what I am going through. He understands that there are adjustments to be made for a short term period and that he’s doing what he can and he’s able to in holding down everything else like our 13 month old, cooking, cleaning etc and I am conscious I don’t want to add my emotional state of mind of top of that but I am struggling. I am finding my self crying all the time, still in pain because it’s only been a week since the section, I don’t feel bonded to my baby yet (I know I am physically but I am looking at him just like he’s a baby and rather than here is my son that I’ve prayed for)... I sound so unappreciative as ungrateful I know... but I am trying to work around it. I don’t know what to do 😞.

Nobody told me about postpartum depression, so I didn’t know the signs. I’m a bit scared for this second pregnancy, but at least this time around I have a therapist.

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Hey mama! I can relate to having anxiety. It's not something anyone should joke about or not take seriously. I ended up having post partum depression after I gave birth a year ago. It's a tough time I'm your life and us moms need support, no negativity.

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