How do you handle restrictions

So I have incompetent cervix. My first baby was born at 30weeks after a failed cerclage. The doctor told me I will need an early cerclage for any future pregnancies, but this comes with pelvic rest. How do you handle the sex ban in your relationship for such a long time?? I know this takes second place to the safety of the baby of course, but I genuinely don’t know how my partner and I could handle 7+ months of abstinence (including postpartum). We are normally very affectionate with each other plus being pregnant gives me some intense hormones. Like I don’t even know if we would have that self control, not to mention the strain it would put on our relationship if we did. I want more babies but I am scared of this and I never hear people talk about it.😟

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I’m not really sure I have anything helpful to tell you. I had an emergency cerclage at 21+4 followed by a C-section so we’re going on 5+ months now, nearing the end of restrictions. It’s been difficult and something we didn’t know was coming, I’m not sure if it would be easier or harder knowing in advance. I have heard from some people who have preventative cerclages they are not put on pelvic rest but it depends on your dr and your specific situation. Preventative is much different I’m told than emergency. In my case I was in so much pain the whole time with my cerclage and the progesterone also made me uncomfortable I never really wanted sex but it was hard on our relationship. I guess it’s something you really need to discuss with your partner and decided if it’s something you’re willing to sacrifice. It is technically only a small amount of time in the grand scheme but feels like ages. It’s not easy and you’re right many people don’t talk about it. Wishing you all the best.

The safety of my baby was more important than sex 🤷🏻‍♀️

@Rika of course, that’s not the question. Just because something is a fact doesn’t make it easy. And I was just wondering how other people dealt with it…

@Victoria thank you for this! It is helpful, just hearing someone else’s experience❤️

To expand, I believe that really is the core of the question. The only “way to deal with it” in our circumstance was the understanding (from both parties) of the importance of the baby’s safety. My husband and I had been together for 10 years before we decided to have a child. When you’re with someone for a decade, these topics of conversation and open communication are a must. It is a fact, correct. It’s also not easy, correct. But if you want the “easy” way out, then don’t have another baby. If you’re going to do the hard thing and have a baby, understand that there are more important things to a relationship than sex. You talk about being affectionate with your partner- there are more ways to be affectionate than being physical. If you genuinely don’t know how you can handle abstinence and feel like you will both crumble and harm your baby, then that’s a conversation you need to have. If you cause your cerclage to fail and lose your baby, you will have to deal with it together.