Developmental/Speech Delay

Hi mamas, I don’t even know how to start, I’m just so stressed about my June 2020 baby boy. My heart is so heavy and I just need a place to vent my concerns. Please no judgement, I don’t think I can handle it, I already feel so terrible about it as it is. I don’t really have any mum friends so I have no one to talk to about my son’s speech delay. My partner and his family seem really chill about it. Whenever I bring up the fact that I think he’s delayed and maybe we should speak to someone, they say he will speak when he’s ready. He met his milestones early (compared to my daughter)- crawling by 8 months, taking his first steps by 11 months. However, he doesn’t respond to his name or follow simple instructions eg please hand me that ball. He takes a while to warm up to groups of people but if he’s at the park he’ll approach kids just fine. I think he may be on the spectrum but my partner thinks he’s developing at his own rate. I feel mum guilt because I do allow a lot of screen time and he doesn’t go to daycare. I’m just so worried about him. Anybody’s 2020 child showing developmental delays? Sorry about the long post. Thank you for taking the time to read it💚
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Thanks so much for sharing this…this makes me feel better to hear someone in the same boat. My son was born in August 2020 and has no speech yet. He did see a speech and language therapist (also picked up on social delays). My little boy is the best, I adore his little personality but it does break my heart that I’ve never been able to have a conversation with him, hear him say Mama, see him make friends etc. I’m hopefully that he will do this all in time though. ASD is something we are very conscious of atm and I feel like it’s all I can think about. Like your son, our guy doesn’t respond to his name, shows some sensory/ repetitive behaviours etc. In terms of helping him it sounds like you are doing all the right things to help him and from what we’ve been advised patience is key to the process. Does your son have some words? Or does he babble? My son only babbles so far. Feel free to message me privately, very happy to chat more & share ideas. ❤️

They aren’t in speech therapy. When they had their 2yr check with the health visitor (it was at 2.5 years and via video call so not ideal 🙄) she said as they don’t seem to interact well online there would be no point as currently in our area they are only doing online S&L sessions. As they are progressing though we haven’t been too worried, if they stagnated and were showing no progress we would likely then push for more support. Now they are 3 they go to pre school so are with lots of other children so we are seeing if this will help. It’s very hard for us not to compare, especially between the two of them as obviously they are the same age and have the same upbringing, I think it’s just natural. You just have to remind yourself of all the achievements they have and not of the things they are still working on. Everyone is good at different things, so somethings your little one will be ahead of another child with and vice versa.

Thank you so much for your insight Clare💛 the “yes, that’s what I said” had me laughing😂 Always hearing about other children the same age as your own being so advanced with their speech/development and extroverted when your child is the opposite, makes my mummy heart hurt. I know we shouldn’t compare but it’s really hard not to. I think I’ll just give him a bit more time and hope he progresses further. Are your twins in speech therapy? My partner doesn’t believe in intervening. I’ve just been trying to talk and explain everything we see and do on a daily basis. Repeating everything we watch, singing and reading to him (even though he just flips through the book quickly to see the pictures)

The clear pronunciation will take time to come, I often just have to work out what they mean and then I repeat the word correctly. Eventually they get better with it. They look at me like ‘yes, that’s what I said’ though 😂 I have a boy and a girl. They do know their names, but whether they respond on not depends on how engrossed they are in what they are doing. Same with following instructions, they understand a lot but it varies as to whether they do what they are asked to do or not depending on if they want to or if they are distracted by other things. There’s a certain tone I reserve for when they are doing something potentially dangerous which they always respond to. Mine often drag me around to ‘show me’ when I don’t understand what they want and they will bring me things they want me to do things with. Their vocabulary is coming along and they do use some sentences but we aren’t at conversation level yet. My eldest was very advanced with speech so it’s very different for me.

I’ve noticed that he has picked up quite a lot from the kids shows, he’s progressed a bit recently with his colours, abcs, numbers 1-10 and starting to learn shapes. He doesn’t pronouce everything clearly but I do understand what he’s saying. Do your twin boys respond to their names or follow instructions? I feel like I could be shouting his name 20 times until he looks over at me and comes over. If he wants something he’ll either pull me over to what he wants or brings me say a bag of chips to open for him. He’s an affectionate little boy and knows when I say “kiss” to lean in for a kiss. He understands when I say bed or bath to run to the bedroom and get in the bed or go to the bathroom and wait to get in the bath. Just feels sad that he’s not even calling me mama yet😔 I’d love to have a conversation with him.

It’s still early days at his age, children often do either the physical or mental stuff first. Sounds like he has worked on his physical attributes. My twins are delayed with their speech, they are 3 now and are still way behind other 3yr olds. However they do have their own way of communicating with each other and they are constantly progressing. Would you say your little one shows any signs of progressing his language and understanding at all? We have considered from very early on that my boy twin has some autistic traits, but no one would do anything until he turned 3. We are now awaiting assessments. I don’t know if it’s the same where you are? I wouldn’t worry about screen time, I would say childrens programmes have taught mine a lot more than they would have got conversing with us, most kids programmes these days have a huge learning theme. Some kids just talk late, but if you have other concerns note them all down and bring them up at his next development review.

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