This is a cry for help

This is me admitting my wrongs so I can become better. My daughter is 2 years old, she's about to be 3. She doesn't know any better, I promised myself I'd be the mama who communicates, I told myself I'd be different from my mom and family that used to spank me. Last night, getting her to bed was a nightmare. She was angry, I was exhausted, the two moods did not mix at all. I spanked her, now I'm reflecting and realizing that she was probably just trying to tell me something. I feel horrible and I hate how I'm still on a waitlist for a therapist. I want to be a better mom, I want a better headspace, I feel so alone. Does anyone have time to talk? I always told myself I'd be different from my mom and family, and I just need someone to talk to.