18 mo passive in peer play

My 18.5 mo has a very gentle passive personality when she’s in a play environment with other little kids, and I’m not sure how best to approach these situations to help teach her more assertive but also kind ways to interact. For example, today we visited a children’s museum and several times when she was playing with an item or when she was trying to climb up stairs to go down a slide other children (both younger and older than her) regularly grabbed the item from her or pushed past her to go down the slide first. In these types of situations I always feel awkward telling the other child to return the item and that they need to wait to have a turn when she’s done, especially when their own parent is somewhere nearby but not attending to the opportunity to teach turn taking. I don’t want to teach her that she has to put up with other more assertive or aggressive kids grabbing stuff away from her, but I also don’t want to teach her to imitate them by grabbing the item back. Similarly I was so touched and proud to see her waving hello to all the kids that blew past her on the slide stairs and watching her make sure everybody got a turn, but then not being able to assert herself so she could get a turn too when they continued to push past her. It kind of breaks my heart to see how thoughtful she is to her own detriment sometimes even at her age. Any suggestions on how to approach these scenarios in play spaces interacting with other children we don’t know? How can I help her hold on to that kind thoughtful heart but also be more assertive so she doesn’t get walked all over? Any thoughts? Of course her language is still really limited for communicating to others at her age too which adds a layer of challenge.

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I love this! My 18 mo doesn’t have this much language yet though so she can’t advocate for herself with words yet

Nothing wrong with correcting other children in a kind way. Also, keep encouraging her to be kind, but to also speak up for herself. She can use words like, stop, and learn how to ask you for their adult, so their adult can address it.

https://www.pbs.org/parents/thrive/how-to-raise-kids-who-can-speak-up

@Hannah it’s not a full solution but I’ve found @mrchazzmrchazz content on TikTok/Insta to be helpful for setting boundaries. I really like this short video for example (https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZT8N3tNwH/ or https://www.instagram.com/reel/CrRv9vurgIj/?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==) I adapted this approach but when my toddler had fewer words I served as her mouthpiece. For example I would look at my toddler’s reaction to the other child and tell the other child “It looks like she (my toddler) doesn’t like that when you push (or insert other action here) her…” and if necessary provide alternative directions on what they can do instead… something like “you can have a turn when she’s done/you’re welcome to play over there/you can go around/there’s lots of other places to play here/this play equipment is for everyone so everyone can take a turn” etc as examples depending on the situation. I hope this helps!

Another example: “oh, you wanted to use that? It looks like she’s (my toddler is) still using that. When she’s done you can have a turn.” Or in situations like waiting to use a slide and older or more aggressive kids keep pushing past and then my kiddo finally gets to the front of the line and can take her turn, instead focusing on praising the actions she did well and vicariously modeling to other kids “wow, that was really hard to wait but you did it! You were so patient waiting for your turn/great job waiting for your turn. (And then assert!) Now it’s *your* turn! You can do it! Go ahead! Let’s go! Alright! Yay!” And also praising the thoughtful kids who wait or offer her to go as the less assertive one. “Thank you (for waiting!)” etc.

Also this https://www.instagram.com/reel/Co-_GK0PteD/?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==

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