Advice needed

Me and my husband are about to have our second boy. I had my first when I was young, with someone else, before I met him. I was pressured by doctors and family bc I was young to circumcise my oldest, and well obviously it’s too late to change anything now. My first is circumcised, but my husband doesn’t want to circumcise our second. I’m concerned that even though my husband claims my first as his own and will be adopting him, that when he learns he’s not “biological” dads that he will have a hard time being different from his brother and dad. Especially if me and my husband ever have more kids and he is the only boy out of them all to be circumcised. ….Thoughts? Opinions? Similar situations?
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I had this thought too because my 3 boys are circumcised and my husband is not. We wonder if the boys will notice. I’m a nurse and just the things I’ve seen with uncircumcised penises is just yucckkk so we decided to do it. Not that all are like that! But it’s just another fold I decided I didn’t want to clean poop out of

I can't say for certain, but I don't know if it'll be a huge source of identity in the future. It's a choice, I left my son intact but I still say regardless, just do some research. I've had friends that said they found the little ones parts difficult to clean who were then shocked when I told them there was no need for them to be retracting anything while they're babies. S cos frowns said if she'd known that she may have made a different choice. For me, it wasn't a hard decision, but definitely let your husband know your concerns and come to a decision together.

Please check out Your Whole Baby. They go over everything you need to know about the intact penis. Stories very similar to yours, etc. It’s truly not worth hurting any future babies just to match the first baby. My little one isn’t circumcised and my husband is. We both wanted to circumcise at first but then when we actually got pregnant with a boy my feelings changed and I did more research on it and let me tell you it was truly eye opening what you find out and how crazy the medical community is taught that mutilation is ok. You grew this precious baby…all these boys have it so why on earth should we think it’s unnatural or unhealthy to have it? Our bodies make them like that for a reason. Just like with our clitoris…we wouldn’t ever think to cut that off just because we get yeast infections etc so why would we do it for a boy. Sorry for the rant lol please check out Whole Baby, it’ll blow your mind.

@Tiffany i generally agree with you except for the clitoris part. Removing the foreskin on men is more like if we were to cut a piece of labia or ears skin. Removing the clitoris on women (excision) is the equivalent of removing the entire head of the penis on a man.

@Hillary i am curious about the infection or STDs argument to make the decision. I guess a filthy uncircumcised man who sleeps around without condom is more at risk, but are there evidence of higher risks on uncircumcised men who are clean and cautious? I don't have a boy, but if i had one who had a bad infection down there, i think my poor education would be more to blame than his foreskin. That's said, i don't have numbers, and maybe there are numbers showing that uncircumcised are more at risk no matter what 🤷

@Lisa I’m glad you say this because actually the clitoris has nothing to do with the urethra whereas the head of the penis does. The part of the foreskin for the penis helps to protect and helps with sexual pleasure whereas the clit only helps with sexual pleasure and the urethra happens to be below that not part of it so respectfully it’s not really like removing the whole head of the penis because we can still function without a clit yet nobody in America thinks to remove that for women fortunately for us, not so for men.

@Saydi is there a possibility someone gets into an identity crisis because their penis foreskin is missing compare to the rest of the family? If someday your son feels physically different from dad and brother, it will be probably because of features visible to anyone, like height or eye color. The penis foreskin sounds like the last details to be concerned about in that matter. Interestingly, it seems like you have regrets to have had the first one circumcised "it's too late to change anything". Still you want to reproduce the same regret-inducing pattern while you don't have pressure this time, and there doesn't seem to be argument other that "match the second". As someone suggested, maybe a concellor could help here.

@Tiffany see "glans" on wikipedia => clitoris and head of the penis have mostly the same function (pleasure). The penis can urinate, have intercourses, and ejaculate without its head (probably not pretty or very fun for the guy though). It's important to differentiate foreskin which is just skin, from the clitoris which is an organ, because when there are conversations around how horrible excision is for little girls (some die) in countries where it's enforced, mens are quick to say "we get circumcized and we don't make such a fuss about it". My comparison between circumcision and cutting was not good earlier. Maybe it would be more accurate to compare circumcision with cutting the hood of the clitoris. Back to the topic, even though circumcision is a minor alteration on men, like you, i wouldn't impose it to a boy if i had one - its about baby's integrity, and an option (keep or cut) that we take from the future man.

@Lisa I can agree the two are similar for sure. But I also must caution that while it may be quick to have done for boys it can be just as dangerous, they can bleed out and die as well, it doesn’t take much especially when we are talking newborn babies. Also taking into consideration how many botched circumcisions that have to be corrected after the initial mutilation only to go back and do it all over again is horrible in my opinion. I truly feel if people are for circumcision than they owe it to their baby to be in the room as it is being performed…most would change their mind once they see the pain their little one experiences typically without anesthesia it’s so sad.

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