Feeling a bit defeated… anyone else?

Good evening everyone! I hope you are well. I wanted to write a post in full transparency. I joined the group because I was trying and trying and trying to breastfeed and I needed another option. (I just gave birth this past Friday). Baby girl has not been latching well and a part of it has affected me emotionally to be honest because it is so painful for me. Part of my nipples are also destroyed and peeling. I have since resorted to using formula and Baby Girl has taken it really well. I cannot get over the mommy guilt of feeling like I can’t provide milk for my baby. Even when talking to others, I have been made to feel like breastfeeding is the ONLY option. Does anyone else feel this way? Am I alone? It also makes me happy to do formula because anyone can help me at any time and it doesn’t cause problems for the baby. Sometimes I feel she doesn’t always take the milk when I pump too. Please. No judgment. I’m trying to be the best new mommy that I can be and I just want friends who have/are currently experiencing the same thing.
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I had issues breast feeding also. I HATE the fact that it didn’t work out for us. Every time we would run into someone, or even random strangers would also ask, “You’ve been nursing, right?” And it was embarrassing and depressing to be asked that. I wish I would have used the resources and help I was offered. There was a free lactation counselor that I could/should have called anytime, but I thought, “I’m a mom, I got this.” Plus my little guy wasn’t gaining his weight back that he had lost from birth, so we had to supplement with a high calorie formula bottle just a few weeks after he was born. That made it even harder to continue trying to get him to latch. He hated it every time I tried. Not to mention my husband was not support of me wanting to continue to try to get him to latch. So I gave up. I know exactly how you feel and what your going through. I’ve heard, “fed is best.” And that has honestly helped me get over my mom guilt and depression about all of this.

Fed is best Mama!! Don’t forget it.

You are not alone with this! Had the same experience as you and the mom guilt was overwhelming. After exhausting myself and weighing out the pros and cons, I felt firm in the decision to exclusively formula feed. Fully accepting the reality took some time though. Focusing on all the love I could provide to my baby really helped heal and bond with baby, which shed some positivity into being a new mom. Also wanted to share something my husband said that really helped....the jist was that I was planning to bf for 6 months....that's like 1% of babys life that they won't even remember. He specifically said this because I was crushed about not bonding with baby as I pictured, but it really helped change my perspective on everything. Fed (and LOVE) is best.

Omg I am feeling the exact same way! I have no problem giving my baby formula. I wasn't motivated to breastfeed and my baby was a preemie, so needed to use a nipple shield when we tried, which I hated! I aas going to pump, but I just can't find the time to do it enough. I feel sad letting my milk dry up, but I don't know why.

Hey hey! I am a little late but hope your formula feeding journey is going well. I struggled and cried and barely made it as far as I did and am SOOO happy I decided to transition to formula. How are you doing? Hopefully well!

Same same here.. so desperate to breast feed but I am just too overwhelmed and anxious with the pain..

You not alone. My little girl did not latch well from the start which led us back to hospital after 2 days and we had to start giving her formula supplement with only 2 days old after she had lost the expected 10% of the birth weight in her first 2 days of life. She took the bottle very well and since then has been a fight to keep breastfeeding, I managed to drop the bottle to exclusive breastfeeding when she was 4 weeks, but that resulted in she losing the recovered weight again., as well as the pain and the overwhelming feeling that came with it, always questioning myself if I was doing it right? Was she eating enough? She was on the breast every hour and never satisfied with the crying and frustration getting worse every day. Since then we have been combination feeling with formula being the main source. I still have moments where my mum guilt takes over but in the end I'm doing what's best for my baby, Fed is best!

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