Does anyone else’s spouse/ significant other make you feel bad for wanting to go out?

I’ve had the most overwhelming past few days, I’m a month post partum from a c section and it feels like everything in life is going wrong. I’m a stay at home mom and I have a toddler and a new born and today pushed me over the edge. We haven’t been getting along on top of it all because I keep telling him my mental health is not good and he keeps dismissing me or arguing with me about it. I told him today when he gets home I’m gonna go out by myself to get a drink and some food and he immediately got mad. Didn’t even say hi when he got home just gave me the car keys and now I’m just sitting in the garage feeling guilty, and decided to not go out. I’m just conflicted at this point and need to vent. I’m extremely open about how I feel and anything that needs to be communicated but it’s almost like he doesn’t care about my feelings at all

Show your support

2 months ago

My husband made me feel bad for going out, until we found out he had PPD. (Yes, dads can get it too) 100% I would go get yourself a treat and not let him or yourself make you feel guilty. It sounds like he works out of the home. So he has plenty of opportunities to stop at a gas station and get a quick snack without kiddos. Stay at home moms don’t have that luxury unless dads clock in for parenting duty. I would sit down with him (and a mutual 3rd party like a therapist if you can) and try and make a set schedule of when YOU get to exit the house kid free. And when the kids are old enough, that dad leaves the house WITH THE KIDS and you stay home kid free. I’ve got a 2 year old and a 3 month old. My husband will take them both to fill my car up with gas, while I get to shower, or stretch, or read a book, or pee without someone banging on the door 😂 I hope some of that helps. I definitely have bad days as a SAHM and you can 100% message me if you ever need to vent!

2 months ago

I know how I feel with my 2 year old and I’m a SAHM, and sometimes I just need to feel like a person outside of being a mother and wife. You shouldn’t feel guilty about it and I’m sorry your partner is making you feel that way. While I don’t know what “out” looks like for you, for me it’s maybe going and grabbing some food and a drink at a bar and working on some emails or planning or meeting a friend for a drink. The first time I brought this up to my husband, he didn’t understand, but he didn’t make me feel guilty so this is the best advice I can give based on my experience. It helped to explain that he talks to other adults at his job and he gets a social experience from that and being a SAHM can be really lonely and isolating. Being around other adults is important whether you’re talking to them or not.