Does couples threapy work?

Hi, I've been with my bf for 15 years. Have 2 beautiful girls. We have been through it all...I've lost both my parents, I've had a life threatening ruptured ectopic pregnancy and now we are living in an out of the hospital as his mum has had a brain anerysm. We have quite a solid relationship however lately... Im just at my brink. He is an only child so can be quite selfish. He does binge drink sometimes which causes old behavior problems like staying out late etc. He has never held a steady job. I've never been taken care of, which im ok with but does play a part in my annoyance. He's honestly a lovely person and has always been my person but lately his bad habits, lack of security and poor excuses are driving me crazy. I feel like im middle aged with no real commitment or security in my life. Does couples threapy work? I feel like there just gonna tell him to stop drinking and won't be much help.

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2 months ago

I think it would work if you’re both committed to it. My partner didn’t want to take part in it so it proved difficult. I had counselling on my own and kinda fed the advice I was given through to him. Not ideal 🤷🏻‍♀️ I do recommend to have time apart in some way or another.

2 months ago

Yes he will have to actively want to change and put in the work. It’s not a magic wand and both people have to work towards healthier behaviours. I was with my husband since I was 18 so he was all I know, so I understand. It was hard but we are both happier now and no regrets we broke up. But saying that, was glad we tried the therapy and did all we could first before we walked away.

2 months ago

@Kelly thanks, that's some good insight. We have always been each others consistent. It's just i feel it slipping. I feel like if he tried harder we would be fine but im not sure if he is capable. I guess thats why ive opted for couples threapy because im sick of all the promises with no change.

2 months ago

I had couples therapy and sex therapy to try and save my 19 year relationship/ marriage. It didn’t work and I spent thousands on it. I would say it only really works if you are 100% committed to staying together. My mind was already out of the marriage when we started so it was too late really. After 19 years I just fell out of love with him. You’ve both got to want it enough, as it is work to turn it around.