Residue.

Residue: a small amount of something that remains after the main part has gone or been taken or used. I feel this is all of me that is left. I am such a disappointment to everyone, including myself. When ever I talk about anything good about myself it is always in the past tense. "I uses to be this", "I uses to be that". I feel as if I am just existing, not living. I don't think anything will bring my spark back. I've tried a few suggestions that people have recommended to me (hobbies, women's groups, supplements, etc.) But to no avail. I feel so disconnected I don't feel suicidal necessarily, but only because I wouldn't want to have to leave anyone with financial burden of my funeral. I feel like a ghost. My jar isn't half empty or half full, just empty. I don't really have many reasons to be sad But I don't really have any reasons to be happy either. I try to stay busy with work and school, that seems to help. But when I am not doing that, I feel.....blah I never talk to anyone about this because I'm sure no one cares, no one gives a shit about anything unless it is somehow beneficial to themselves. I'm drowning in a very shallow pool of muddy water. I feel trapped. Help :(

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I'm so sorry you are feeling this way 😞 I can sadly relate. I feel like I'm the weakest link 🔗

Oh no! I'm sorry you're feeling so hopeless! I've felt like this many times. I know medication isn't for everyone, but it has helped me so much! Also, I still have shit days! Currently I'm looking at taking an estrogen supplement. There are many meds and supplements that can help to address mood disorders. Talk therapy aka counseling services can be helpful too. Many times a combination of therapies tend to be most helpful. I'm not a doctor, just speaking from my own experiences.

@Kat Thanks. I already do go to therapy and I am also on medications. They help sometimes. But medications are just a band-aid, I feel, honestly. I started taking Primrose about a month ago but I don't feel like it is helping..yet.

You are not alone feeling like this I feel just the same my inbox is always open

I am so sorry you feel like this . But know you are worthy of being loved . Please if you need someone to talk to I have a counseling certificate text me if you would like 662 669 0558

I sadly relate to this. I've found walking helps, it helps get all those bad voices out of my conscious and can the beauty in the world that is now. Just know you are not alone and talking is good to air your feelings with people that can relate xx

Find another therapist.. not all work.. I've gone through 4.. exercise help me.. self love even if you feel you don't deserve it.. because you do..

I've been through several therapists and medications...and most therapists just tell me the sane thing. Exercise, mediate, yoga....blah blah blah. I'm a pretty high energy person usually. I don't want to exercise because I don't need to. I am actually and maybe the only person on the planet that wants to gain weight..not muscle weight but fat. My metabolism is stupid fast. And I'm 42 years old.. I honestly think it is this town I live in. I hate to sound like a hypocrite because I always tell people who feel similar; " Where ever you go, there you are." But I really feel like it is this town. I have no friends, no family around me. I work full-time and I'm a full-time student working towards my masters. It seems like many of the people, women in this town are not as motivated or goal oriented as me...like they are just waiting for prince charming to rescue them or some type of magic to change their life. I can't vibe with those type of people.

I have a boyfriend, but I still feel really lonely. He is honestly the only reason I stay in this town. But he is becoming emotionally draining. I do love him, but somedays it's too much. Everything, everywhere always smells like weed and I CAN NOT FUCKING STAND IT! I also don't drink.

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