Residue.

Residue: a small amount of something that remains after the main part has gone or been taken or used. I feel this is all of me that is left. I am such a disappointment to everyone, including myself. When ever I talk about anything good about myself it is always in the past tense. "I uses to be this", "I uses to be that". I feel as if I am just existing, not living. I don't think anything will bring my spark back. I've tried a few suggestions that people have recommended to me (hobbies, women's groups, supplements, etc.) But to no avail. I feel so disconnected I don't feel suicidal necessarily, but only because I wouldn't want to have to leave anyone with financial burden of my funeral. I feel like a ghost. My jar isn't half empty or half full, just empty. I don't really have many reasons to be sad But I don't really have any reasons to be happy either. I try to stay busy with work and school, that seems to help. But when I am not doing that, I feel.....blah I never talk to anyone about this because I'm sure no one cares, no one gives a shit about anything unless it is somehow beneficial to themselves. I'm drowning in a very shallow pool of muddy water. I feel trapped. Help :(