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last week

Need a vent

I'm currently on mat leave with a 10mo at home. Today hubby's been walking around, barely present, going through the motions and its clearly having an effect on our daughter. I guess I couldve been kinder but I have full blown PPD and he often doesnt treat me kindly when I'm on a bad day. Long story short I was pretty fed up by the end of the day with how he was behaving the whole day, moping and disappearing into the study to play games (mind you after he had a lovely 7 hour sleep and i was up multiple times with bub). At one point I calmly asked him to shut a cupboard he left open and he told be to "Relax" and it was ON (I come from a family where EVERYONE would argue and lose emotional control, and I'm struggling breaking this habit). One thing led to another and I was trying very hard not to say anything rude or disrespectful but I was struggling keeping my tone down (wasnt yelling just being more animated than usual). But then he proceeded to say: " You keep living off my money". I'm sorry, but it was like waving a red flag infront of a bull. I have worked VERY hard to be financially independent and until pregnancy I earned the same amount as him, and all bills, mortgage, trips, EVERYTHING was always 50/50 split. And I chose to stay at home for 12 months post partum to ensure a secure and safe bond with bub. But then I get this shit thrown in my face. My body is DESTROYED, my mind is falling apart yet I smile and play and engage everyday because my daughter doesnt need to see my anxiety and PPD and childhood trauma. I am the one who grew her, I am the one who with a giant c-section got up multiple times a night to breastfeed her, I am the one that is working bloody hard to break generational trauma and she has HIS surname, and then he throws this crap in my face. I lost it. Lucky bub was asleep, I wouldve had to leave the house otherwise. How do men get off with this shit? I never considered myself an avid feminist because I have worked as hard as any other man to be an equal member of this society. But tonight's little stunt has left me reeling. Anyway, rant over. I usually dont post here but needed a safe space to share this without some family member lecturing me. Thanks for reading.
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last week

@Melissa thank you 🙏🥺

last week

I’m sorry you are going through this, and I hope you can show yourself a lot of self compassion while you deal with it.

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