Smother-in-law

HELP!!!!! So, my MIL is very over the top and telling what and how to do everything, literally from the time I wake up and she sees me active on FB, she's texting me about stuff to add to my registry and what not to buy bc she already got it and she's gotten a Big suitcase full of clothes for our baby already and even clothes for next year!!! Now, I'm trying to fill out my birth plan and I want MY mom in the room! But not his mom bc she stresses me out to NO END!! My husband knows she stresses me but he looks to her for guidance bc she had 4 kids and is a professional nanny for high end families (soooo clearly she'll know more than my lowly florist mother) How do o go about this? This woman has wanted to be a grandmother more than she wanted to be a mom and even tho she has 4 kids this will be her only grandchild. How do I set that boundary for the hospital and not cause an issue

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last week

@Kyra ooh that’s a great idea!!

last week

@Kyra yessssss! Exactly like everything is out in the open, nurses come in and pop your boobs out, flip the sheets up with no warning haha. My first baby I told my dad the baby was coming and he got the nurse, she walked in and just flipped the sheet up with my dad right there 😂 it was so awkward. He quickly left after when she said she sees the head lol. I wouldn’t want my MIL in there no way.

1 reply

last week

@Marlowe pro tip, have a code word so your significant other knows that you need a break from any visitors!! A lovely nurse told me that & it’s honestly genius

last week

As someone who has given birth before, if you only want your mom in the room then DO THAT! Birth and postpartum is so overwhelming (your hormones are out of control), you’re nipples will be out constantly, etc so ONLY have who you are so comfortable with. This time around my mom is going to stay with us for a week beforehand and about 10 days postpartum and my MIL will get to visit 1-2 week’s postpartum because that’s just what I’d be most comfortable with 🤷🏼‍♀️ after my son was born I would sit in the bathroom and cry because I just wanted visitors to go away, that first week or so is INTENSE

last week

Just be honest with her. She isn’t your mom, you’ll be in a very vulnerable place in your life and she doesn’t need to be there if you don’t want her to.

last week

She's already moving to a new state to be closer to us & were military and she says she plans to move everytime we do! My mom is in Arizona so even tho she will DEFINITELY be involved in baby's life, she won't be the weekend babysitter grandma, she'll be holidays and if funds allow grandma... and his mom thinks my parents aren't as supportive bc they won't drop their whole life to follow us around the country. I'll definitely have a convo with her about it.