Smother-in-law
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She's already moving to a new state to be closer to us & were military and she says she plans to move everytime we do! My mom is in Arizona so even tho she will DEFINITELY be involved in baby's life, she won't be the weekend babysitter grandma, she'll be holidays and if funds allow grandma... and his mom thinks my parents aren't as supportive bc they won't drop their whole life to follow us around the country. I'll definitely have a convo with her about it.
As someone who has given birth before, if you only want your mom in the room then DO THAT! Birth and postpartum is so overwhelming (your hormones are out of control), you’re nipples will be out constantly, etc so ONLY have who you are so comfortable with. This time around my mom is going to stay with us for a week beforehand and about 10 days postpartum and my MIL will get to visit 1-2 week’s postpartum because that’s just what I’d be most comfortable with 🤷🏼♀️ after my son was born I would sit in the bathroom and cry because I just wanted visitors to go away, that first week or so is INTENSE
So lovingly, it’s you who will be doing the work on delivery day so whatever and whoever will make you most comfortable is who should be there to support you. It seems to me that a genuine, heartfelt, conversation is in order with both your husband and MIL. I would start with telling them both that you understand and appreciate their excitement and her knowledge. I would tell them you need more support than just recommendations and want your mother to be a part of your delivery day. Of course both grandmas will have a place in babies life once baby is here, but for now and today you need to figure it out on your own with the help that you want and need most and not what other people feel you need.