What to do? *mental health mentioned*

My husband and I have three kids: 21 month old son and 4 month old twin girls. When the girls were a month old, my husband and I separated. To make a long story short, my husband was an AMAZING dad and good husband prior to the girls being born. However after a year from hell last year (moving unexpectedly from overseas back to the US, unhelpful military leadership, my dog passing away on the flight home, me having horrible hyperemesis during my pregnancy, and being assigned to a base where my husband had to relearn his whole job), it was like the girls being born was the straw that broke the camel’s back. His mental health was already in the tank but it somehow found an even lower point after this. I acted in the best interest of everyone’s safety and mental well being. He’s living with one of his coworkers while he works on himself and I’m solo parenting the kids and taking care of our two dogs and house for now. We don’t have any family support (a long story itself) and my friends live 6+ hours away. They have visited but they all have full time jobs and their own families so I can’t rely on them (which is not their fault by any means). My husband is taking getting help seriously and is now on medication, completed anger management, is taking parenting classes, completed two group therapies, and is in both couples and individual counseling. However, as stressful as it has been raising three under two by myself, I find myself enjoying the space from him. I miss his company and our friendship, but I don’t find myself missing him romantically. I don’t know if it’s because I exist in a state of “touched out” or if it’s truly my feelings for him dwindling. Maybe both, I really don’t know. We’ve been married for five and a half years. He truly is a good person but he has a lot of demons, mostly stemming from his childhood trauma and turbulent relationship with his mom. I see him growing through the help he’s getting, but I’m worried if it came too little too late. I know only I can decide what’s right for me, but right now I can barely tell what way is up. Has anyone else been through anything similar? Maybe I just needed a safe place to vent, I’m not sure. Regardless, all I care about is giving my children two healthy parents that love them and put their interests first. Be that a coparenting situation or in a joint parent household. If you read this far, thank you for taking the time to sit through my brain pudding.
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I have an out of sight out of mind type of brain so I honestly get what you’re saying. I’d say just take each day one at a time.

I mean it sounds like your doing everything you can do! Maybe try some local mom groups to help build a closer community? But you are one strong women handling three under three!!! If there are any little things that make you happy keep doing them/keeping them around. All you really can do is your best and you are definitely doing that. Just try to stay happy :)

What prompted the anger management and therapy? Is he abusive to you? If that’s the case, it could all make sense. I hope everything works out in the way that it’s meant to.

@Shy he’s never once laid a hand on me thankfully. But he does have issues with his temper/getting petty when he’s upset. He is more of a self-destructive angry. Like he won’t hurt himself physically but he tells himself things like, “Well I’m a bad person so I deserve bad things to happen to me.” He also was 100% abused as a child/teenager by both his mom and stepdad. He never thought it was abuse because it was his normal. But I basically told him he needed to fix himself so he would be the one to break the cycle. I never worried about it with our son but like I said, once our girls were born it was like he was a different person. I didn’t want to lose him before he was so far gone he couldn’t get help so that’s when I pulled myself and the kids out of the equation until he was better

Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming... 🎶

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