Mom guilt.

I haven't done the greatest job with my own self care. I have the opportunity to go to a crafting class at one of our local libraries next week and I already feel guilty about going. It's in the evening, which will leave my husband to bathe out 3 young kiddos (7, 4, and almost 2) and put them to bed on a school night too. Normally we both do these tasks. How do I not feel guilty about having an evening out?
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Because how can you give them your best if your aren’t caring for yourself or prioritising some much needed time alone to be you

Hey, maybe reframe it. Say something completely opposite of your current mindset to help you see it from another angle.. like “if I’m a hover mom, I prevent them from getting a diverse experience”, “if I leave the house occasionally and let him do it all then I will be more appreciated next time we do it together”, “the kids need to experience one parent without the other to form a deep bond with each of them individually, so if I don’t leave I’m an obstacle in the way of that for him”, or remind yourself you are raising future parent’s possibly and when they are older you would want them to take this small break for themselves, so by modeling this as a normal thing you will be giving the future parent version them comfort in doing something for themselves to cope with the stresses of parenting because it was “normal” when they were a kid.

What @Fran said 👏👏👏 Your hubs will be fine. I can't even imagine not going out to do something for myself for 7 years. Society has made moms feel shame for not devoting 100% of themselves to their kids and I think that needs to change. Esp if you have a supportive partner

That’s his job!! Don’t feel guilty about him doing his job. If it stresses him out it’s good for him to learn how to deal with that to build a better relationship with his kids. You on the other hand can’t be a good mom if you aren’t good to yourself ! So you need to go out and do things that make you happy big or small :)

Has your husband ever had an evening out? If so (and I’m willing to bet he has) no guilt needed! It’s only fair. If somehow you have the worlds most reliable spouse and he’s never left you to put the kids to bed alone even once in the last 2 years then you can do something nice for him later as a thank you

@Jessica he has been out, it's been a while since (last summer really) and honestly I don't have guilt about leaving him to do it. I feel guilty about not being there for my kiddos. I know he is capable of doing it. He has done it before when I've had girl scouts with the oldest or a meeting for a nonprofit I volunteer with.

When you go to crafting class, your kids will have an opportunity to experience something they are not accustomed to. When it goes well, they will gain more independence to know that they can thrive at bedtime with or without mommy there. (I know daddy will be there, but he's not you) or plug in something you think is more fitting for your family. Your kids will also learn something about you when you show them what you were able to craft! I think it could be a great experience for everyone!

I just want to share that I went and had fun, re connected with an old friend and the kids were just fine. The youngest went to bed no problem contrary to what my husband thought. The only downfall was that my oldest was upset I wasn't there to tuck her into bed, say good night and she didn't get to have her cup of tea with me before bed. I can make that up to her though I'm sure.

@Megan Glad to hear it went well! 😊

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