Guilt
I pride myself on being a “ Perfectionist “ and love my career. My job often calls for me to be on my feet for really long hours. I've been on my Job for several years and often hold “ Perfect Attendance “ if I'm sick I push through, if I'm tired, I push through..and so on and so on. I’m now pregnant and I suffer from extreme nausea and fatigue. This is one battle I’m having trouble with just “ pushing through” I’ve missed work twice this month because I just felt like I couldn’t push myself any further. This isn’t like me and so I’m dealing with extreme guilt of not being able to hold it together and not miss a day of work. I’m having trouble understanding that it’s ok to take time for myself now that I’m pregnant. I feel torn because I don’t want to put to much pressure to perform as normal when things clearly aren’t that way. The struggle between taking care of myself and the growing baby inside me or to push myself to perform perfectly at work is stressing me a little. Anybody else dealing with this?
I AM SO DEALING WITH THIS! Thank you for talking about this, honestly! I've also had to call in due to fatigue and nausea- I drive & deal w customers all day. I work with a bunch of guys, so the over-sympathy & lack of understanding is there. Some guys want to help too much and end up making things worse, while others expect me to "pop it out & come back". I am the youngest & ran up the ranks quickly at my job, so they have high expectations for me. But my priorities are elsewhere. Of course my job is life security, but if I lose myself or my baby in the end, I wouldn't be able to forgive myself or the company (as silly as that sounds) I've had to deal w the stress that I am losing myself, since I identified as a young, independent working woman... but it's actually a part I'm gaining, a piece of me I'm barley learning of. I think it's a test... challenging us to think hard & speak up for ourselves. Something we will have to be doing in front of & for our babies very soon.