Partners

Got into an argument with my partner today. He told me he feels overwhelmed and that he is the only one doing the housework. I admit that yes, I am pretty messy and haven't been helping with the housework but I do still work 52 hours a week and do 3 sleep nights. (I'm a support worker and work 7 days a week, some shifts shorter than others) I'm currently 28+3 days. I feel exhausted. He says he gets I'm pregnant and working but I should be helping him more. (He doesn't work) He was getting stressed and kept complaining about everything. I kept reassuring him and saying okay I will help out a bit more but he hust kept going on about how I just say that and don't act. I lost my temper a bit and told him to calm the fuck down. Now he told me he isn't going to talk to me until I apologise. I just feel like I'm doing so much and him tidying the house/keeping on top of the housework isn't too much to ask. Am I over-reacting?

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last week

Hey Danielle, you’re doing great momma. I’ve been off work for 5 weeks and here you are working 52 hours! Your partner is doing a lot at home, you’re doing alot outside of the home, usually this works for a unit or couple. If it was any other dynamic I’d side with your man, however YOU ARE PREGNANT. Doesn’t matter how messy you are. You should be relaxing and taking it easy. What if you can’t do much around the home before and post birth? WhT is he going to do then? He defo needs to empathise and not sympathise. He’s probably thinking if you can exert that much effort for your job surely you can do a bit at home, but by the time you’re home you’re probably exhausted! As anybody would be! Just have a calm conversation with him and see if anything else is troubling him. Right now you need him emotionally, you don’t need this negativity and fights over house chores. Love and prayers to you x

last week

Sorry but he sounds like an absolute asshole …

last week

As all the ladies above have said, if he doesn’t work (for whatever reason) and you work 52 hours a week on top of GROWING A BRAND NEW HUMAN then it’s not you who needs to be doing more. Forgive me, but what does he even do all day? I have anxiety myself, and that on top of having a tough pregnancy so far has meant I’ve stopped working, so don’t get me wrong, I understand what it is like have days when getting out of bed is an achievement, never mind stacking the dishwasher, but honestly I don’t think I could live with myself if I watched my other half work his 50 hour week and then expected him to pitch in around the house. I’m lucky because he does a lot anyway (he does all the laundry as of last week because bending down to get the clothes in and out of the machine was causing me issues 😂), but I’d never expect it of him. Honestly, he needs to be the one to apologise. Drama between you is that last thing you need on your plate.

last week

That's got to be the hardest part if he won't ask for help. Must be so hard for you seeing him this way too. Hopefully social services will be able to assist you guys more and that will take the stain from you both. I hope it improves for you x

last week

@Danielle you're definitely not over reacting, he needs to seek help for his anxiety and maybe go back to work to improve his mental health and take some of the strain from you so you can maybe cut your hours to allow yourself some relaxation time. In your current situation I'd be wanting a 3 course dinner cooking too every night 😘 and him to wash up after 😂