Incognito
Incognito
3 days ago

New toxic BF

So I have a boyfriend now , hes been giving me basically everything I was missing in my old relationship besides a few things but he’s great I can feel myself growing into a different person in this relationship and he’s sweet to me and reassures me but he rarely opens up to me. He talks about how he used to be a bad person at one point and i know a lot more about him than he knows, but I’ve seen how he’s treated his exs and women in the past and it’s so toxic but he’s different with me? And I just wanna know why? Or if he’s gonna switch up on me when someone “better”comes a long… Like ik he wasn’t completely loyal to me the first month or two of our relationship but I’m not mad bc I’m not completely innocent myself (nothing sketchy just didn’t tell him things deliberately bc I wasn’t sure how long this was gonna last ) and now I’m in love and just scared but my gut says not to be scared and that everything is fallling into place or already where it’s supposed to be..
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3 days ago

That’s textbook abusive behavior— and I wish I could say I learned that m from a textbook, rather than from two different toxic partners in my 20s. You’re in the honeymoon stage where he is extremely charming and lavishes you with love, appears to be self reflective and so growth. Later he will mistreat you and gaslight you into thinking it’s your fault. But you will put up with it because you know how good it can be, if you can just figure out what you can do to keep him in a good mood. When in fact, what you see as a bad mood is his real personality (the charmer was the front), and he actually quite enjoys this about himself. He likes having power and control. If he’s done it before he’ll do it again, and likely he’ll escalate. Believe people when they show you who they are, believe women he’s dated— especially if there’s more than one saying the same thing.

3 days ago

Thank you so much! Fingers crossed 🤞🏾

3 days ago

Yeah no harm in taking it slow, but move at your pace. Just don’t ignore any of the red flags. You see one, get out while the relationship is still new and you have no strings attached. I wish you the best and I do hope he is good to you!

3 days ago

Ok well good luck I hope it works out well for you!

3 days ago

A general side note: I know I’m gonna be okay at the end of the day, I’m always okay I’ll be sad for a bit and maybe quit dating for a few months but I’ll be okay 🫶🏾 I have to be, for my kid

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