Tired toddler only sleeps 8-9 hours a night

Losing my patience. My little boy will wake between 5-6am every single morning regardless of what time he goes to sleep. What’s really getting to me is the fact that lately, even though he’s tired, he won’t go to sleep until around 9/10pm and STILL wake up between 5-6. We try putting him down at 6/7/8 whatever but he will not go to sleep. Doesn’t matter what time he goes to bed, he won’t sleep so we can’t get out of this tiredness cycle. He’s got dark circles, bags under his eyes, emotional and clingy all day because of this. He’s always been a baby/toddler who doesn’t sleep enough but it’s not because he doesn’t need it otherwise he wouldn’t look and act the way he does. Bedtime routine hasn’t changed. No big life changes etc. It’s been going on for months. I’m sick of having to deal with an overtired and clingy toddler every single day, I feel like I can’t do anything with him as everything I take him to he’s just too tired to enjoy it and just whinges and clings to me and we both have an awful time. Anyone else going through this? Don’t know what to do, just can’t get him back to sleep when he wakes after 5 even though he’s still tired! He naps for 2 hours in the day and wouldn’t survive without this so dropping naps isn’t an option, he’s not low sleep needs. Thanks x

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Just a thought but would it help to maybe split his nap into 2 so he isn’t too overtired at bed time and maybe he would go down easier? So like maybe a 30 min nap in the morning to tide him over, and the rest of the 1.5 hours a bit later in the day?

Firstly, sleep aside, it seems that all our little ones at this age are clingy/moody/aggy all day long. When you put him to bed, do you just leave him? My little boy goes to bed between 6.30 and 7pm each night without fail, sometimes he can be up an hour and sometimes straight down. I leave him, unless he is absolutely besides himself. My son wakes between 6.30-7.30am (not what you want to hear I’m sure), but we have a very dead set routine, tea, bath (little bit of play time/screen time) bed. I’m sorry this is happening, being a mummy is hard enough without the super late and early starts. Does he go to nursery? My little boy was worse when he was at a CM, didn’t seem to be tired ever!!! Nursery keeps him super busy and he’s jusy exhausted. However, my little boy, on average is up 3/4 times a night, so do they sleep through a solid 8-9 hours? X

In terms of his bedtime, if you want to bring it forward have you tried moving it forward 15 mins every few days? If his circadian rhythm is currently set to a 9pm-ish bedtime, he will struggle to fall asleep dramatically earlier. We actually have a burst of alertness 2hrs before our bodies expect us to fall asleep, so it’s almost impossible to go to sleep during this period. You can alter this by moving his bedtime forward by 15 mins at a time, and hopefully he will then sleep a bit longer overnight. Is it possible he’s low sleep needs? My 20mo only sleeps 9.5-10hrs a night and only naps 40-ish mins at lunch time x

@Tamara thank you, we’ve tried that but unfortunately when he has a morning nap he then refuses an afternoon one. We’ve tried even just letting him have a 20 minute nap in the morning but he either won’t sleep or won’t sleep in the afternoon x

@Gem what time is his 2hr nap?

@Leah oh definitely, but he’s so much more clingy etc when he’s tired so hard not to get frustrated over it. If we leave him he just screams so we have to lay with him. He doesn’t try and sleep but it’s like his mind can’t switch off. We do have quite a strict routine, we’ve had it for ages and it’s always worked but one day it just stopped! He doesn’t go to nursery no, he’s at home with me but I take him out every day. We also have quiet times in the day as well as active times too. He’s also up a few times in the night too so it’s not quality sleep either. Maybe it’s just how he is but wow it’s hard when you know how much better he would feel if he slept when he needed to 😫 thank you so much for your comment xx

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Oh Gem, so sorry. It really is hard. My little boy changed as soon as he turned 1. Was always so happy and slept ok and napped well etc, as soon as he turned 1, everything tipped upside down. We got Chester a Tonies box for Xmas, we leave that on and we have noticed it helps with naps and sleeping. Maybe worth playing a YouTube video or something before investing and seeing if that helps? We read stories too, but that just helps us have the much needed rest too. As I said, Chester doesn’t sleep well either, so I’m with you there. Sending lots of love and hope things change for you very soon xx

Will he sleep longer than 2 hours at nap time? My 2yo will sleep for 3.5 hours if I let him and those are the nights he sleeps better

@Eilidh thank you for your comment, no we haven’t tried doing 15 mins every few days but we’ve done half an hour but I’ll try 15 mins. We’re struggling because it seems no matter what time we put him to bed he still stays awake so it’s like we’re stuck with it and it’s totally out of our control. I wouldn’t think he’s low sleep needs as he’s so tired on this amount of sleep unfortunately xx

@Tamara if he’s up at 5am then he naps 11am but if he’s up around 6 then he naps at 12. Any earlier than this and he won’t sleep (despite clearly being tired) 😫 x

@Gem ok well it’s good it’s not earlier cos it reduces the chance that he’s overtired at bedtime. What’s his day like in between waking up from the nap and going to bed at night? Depending on your routine (if you’re working or with him) I would maybe try and keep his afternoons full with tiring activities every day for a week. Even though he’s obviously tired as it is, he might need to extra push to expend his energy and is physically tired at bed time and maybe that will help get him into a habit of sleeping a bit earlier? My daughters sleep needs have been changing recently so if I need her to nap for sure I keep her busy in the morning and if she’s been a nightmare at night times I have her out and about in the afternoons for a few days to settle her back into a good night sleep routine. It’s hard cos it all depends on sleep pressure, temperament, sleep associations etc so there it’s hard to know what will help but worth trying anything I guess.

Have you tried shorter naps? If I let my boy have 2 hr naps he would never sleep longer than 9-9 and a half hours at night. So we keep the naps short (1 hr) and he sleeps for 10-11 hours at night.

Hi Gem I want to say simular boat here, my little one wakes up at 5am every single morning. That's with a 2 hour nap (if I'm lucky) round 11-12. Wakes up clingy, whiny and just stressed. Strict routine the lot You name it we have tried it. Earlier Bedtime of 6pm/7pm or pushing 8pm. Will wake-up at 5. Sounds to me your little one may be actually over tired if doesn't go to bed till very late!

@Elif we have unfortunately and it’s made it worse 😩x

@BikerGirlR6 it’s so hard isn’t it! Sorry you’re having the same problem 😔 He does seem overtired which is why we’ve tried putting him to bed earlier but he’s still not actually going to sleep until late so we can’t seem to stop the overtiredness 😫 x

Hi, we struggled with sleep stuff when our little boy was 8months old so we paid for sleep training (I know some people don't believe in it) bt it saved our lives, out little boy sleep for 11/12hours now and never really wakes though the night, only if he us unwell. He use to wake 10times a night 😩 they teach you about wake windows and teach self soothing tech. X