Baby shower

Hello! Does anyone have any pros and cons to having a baby shower? My family and friends are all asking if I'm having one and I'm in two minds about it. Thanks X
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They are hugely popular now presumably because people like the excuse to have a get together and make the mum feel special. Personally I’m not a fan so will give you the cons! First of all it’s not traditionally British, it’s an American import just like the gender reveal. Historically many parents would view it as bad luck or simply unnecessary to celebrate a baby before they’re home safe. For anyone who has suffered loss the idea of giving presents for a baby not yet born may be seen as tempting fate or just kind of naive. I remember there was a card at work passed round for me to sign for a woman leaving to go on maternity leave and it was a new baby card. Another colleague refused to sign it because she said we can’t assume the baby is safe yet. There’s also the argument that it’s kind of self indulgent/attention seeking. Some people find the silly games kind of tedious. And finally you’re often bought loads of crap you don’t want. Far better to wait until baby is here and you…

…Can work out what you actually will need or use. Many people think they’ll need certain things and then realise pretty quickly that they don’t actually need it or their baby hates it etc. swaddles for example or dummies. Finally finally (lol) I think the idea of having a party to celebrate the baby once they’re here is quite nice. It doesn’t have to be a traditional christening if you’re not into that. We had a humanist naming ceremony on our daughter’s first birthday and everyone had a great time and we have some lovely photos of our daughter with all her extended family around her, you can’t have that with a baby shower. Anyway, wouldn’t judge anyone for having one because at the end of the day it’s up to them. Good luck with your decision x

@Hayley thank you chick, see im one if those people who doesn't like a fuss being made of and also I don't like the idea of everyone around me getting drunk and I'm the sober one there..I don't feel comfortable with the idea. I always said I don't understand the whole baby shower and gender reveal party... But I'm being mithered into one or the other from my family and friends as it's my first xx

No judgment on anyone who chooses to have one but I decided not to for a few reasons. First being that my family and friends are spread up and down the country so would’ve been difficult to arrange a date and expensive for people to come as a lot would’ve had to stay overnight somewhere. Second being that I’d had two miscarriages before this baby and just didn’t want to tempt fate! I’ve also been to a baby shower and have to admit, I was completely bored. Found the games tedious, food was mediocre, barely got to speak to the mum-to-be, poor lass looked completely knackered by the end of it. The only positive was a few glasses of Prosecco haha. The whole thing just felt like a show to be displayed on social media for likes. Also, I just don’t really get it? Why are we celebrating a baby’s birth before it’s happened? It’s like celebrating your birthday a month early 🤔 We decided to just do a small gathering at home, basically a meet and greet, once baby was here and we were somewhat..

settled into newborn life x

@chloe if you decide to have one, it should be for you, not them. If you’re not comfortable doing it then be assertive about it. I hadn’t given any thought to the getting drunk thing- do baby shower guests actually do that? If so that’s pretty disappointing tbh. Shouldn’t be a piss up IMO

@Jess yeah like my partners family is very small and they don't seem to get together at all, yet I've got a massive family and my mum doesn't get along with my dad's side and my mum's side of family doesn't bother with me or my siblings. That's another reason why I don't like the idea of them due to pictures being on Facebook... I already didn't want to put my pregnancy on Facebook but my partner asked me too. I bloody hate this 😂

@Hayley I'm from a big family... They like to be drunk at all parties 😂

I wasn't fussed about having one but my mum and sister in law are very excited. I said if they want to plan and arrange everything that's fine so they are 😂 i have said a few definite no's but I love a buffet and cake and I know people won't get drunk and stupid. I'm quite looking forward to seeing everyone too. I do usually find baby showers to be very boring so I'm not expecting some crazy fun party but it'll be a nice get together. I'm looking forward to our baby shower 😊 also with the gift side you can set up and send out a baby wishlist on amazon so people can get you whatever you actually want. I think people usually get crap you don't need because they don't know what you do need/want. Just an idea anyways 😊 xx

@Lauren see my mum and sister ain't bothered at all 😂 the last one I went too I got drunk. Tbh I think I might have a lil party when the baby actually comes xx

Yeah do whatever you feel best doing. Mine will only be small lots of people I've invited are on holiday but my nearest and dearest are coming and thats what matters. As someone said before if you do have one do it for you. My friend had one last year and her best friend said she would organise it all and ended up doing nothing and she had to do it all herself. Down to making sandwiches the night before. Seeing how stressed she was put me off massively and I said i wasnt having one. As I'm not planning it now I'm just turning up my only concern is what I'll wear haha and I'll sort that nearer the time. Just do whatever makes you happy 😊 your baby so it's up to you xx

I'm having one but purely (and slefishly) because I didn't get a hen do (long story!) My sister is organising I believe and I probably won't know anything about it until it happens. We've got family up and down the country (literally south coast to north Yorkshire!) And it'll be a first grandchild for my husbands family so everyone is super excited. We won't be doing a big gender reveal or anything and still haven't got around to telling all the fam face to face yet so think a baby shower will be a lovely way to get everyone together before bub gets here. But again it's personal preference and understand why people don't bother. We also live closest family are 2 hours away and logistically just don't know how much we will see everyone once baby gets here or how much we will want to travel.

I would say go for it but keep in mind they might get stuff you don’t want. You can specifically ask like please buy off of registry or give cash or gift cards. I wish I did that because I just sent out the registry and no one bought off of it but I would have rathered people give money or gift cards.

I'm kinda having one but I didn't want it to be exclusive to me and women so we are having a big BBQ more of a get together than a shower with my partner and all our family :)

@chloe Ahh bless you, that sounds like a tricky one! I’d say don’t feel pressured into having one if you don’t want one and if you do decide to have one, make sure someone else plans it all haha. You don’t need that stress in your life right now 😂 As someone else said, you could just keep it to women. It was very much like that at the baby shower I went to, even the baby daddy wasn’t there haha x

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@Gabrielle I mean this with the utmost respect but I’ve noticed you’re based in the states. Gift registries are commonplace for weddings in the UK but we don’t really do it for anything else in my experience. That’s what I meant when I said you may end up with things you don’t want. Culturally it’s kind of seen as impolite here to ask for stuff so people generally don’t ask, so then they get the problem of getting stuff they don’t need

Oh gotcha. Yeah that makes sense. I didn’t read your other comment so I didn’t know what you said haha. My bad

I’m planning a baby shower with friends and family a couple of weeks before I am due, and I’m using it as an opportunity to thank people for they’re support, treat friends and family to a day out and see everyone as I have requested a week settling in at home with baby and my partner when they arrive xx

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