Stay at Home dad?

I am currently on maternity leave but typical work from home. My husband use to as well but recently lost his job. Upon returning back to work, my job stated I have to secure child care. We have a newborn and a two year old. We can either have our friend watch our toddler or send her to daycare for the first time. My husband decides today that he doesn't want to do neither, he'd rather watch both of our kids including teaching our toddler. He's getting his master's so we've agreed for him to not work FT but I'm not sure how well he'd do watching our kids all day and teaching our toddler... I feel like I'd end up doing some of the work which I can't do while working but I don't want to make him feel like I don't trust him to do as this will lead to an argument. Opinions? Anyone's husband is a stay at home dad?

Show your support

last month

I think people need to remember men are capable of taking care of their own children if they really try! Show him some of your tips and tricks and give him that confidence that you trust him as a a parent. You decided to have kids with this guy so why can’t you trust him to take care of your kids? Don’t be so quick to dismiss him! If you can allow him to succeed then he won’t need you while you work

last month

He does all of the stuff around the house - cleaning, laundry, dishes. She helps him or plays independently. She goes to the grocery store with him. They play outside a lot. Listen to music. There’s constantly a stack of books on our couch that we read throughout the day. We didn’t do screens until she was 2, and even now we only watch something for about an hour before dinner - and we watch together with her. So no screens during the day. We believe kids learn by being included/involved in all the stuff adults do, so she’s learning just by living life with him! Once she’s older we will probably do more structured learning but for now this is great.

2 months ago

@Leah Simon Very true. I didn't think about that I shouldn't want to be "in control" which will be hard for me.

2 months ago

@Chapin That's what I thought about after he told me he'd rather do it vs someone else. I'd like to see how well he is able to do with boy of them. I believe he will do decently with watching them but with our toddler I think it will require more work because I'm trying to potty train her and I want her to do some learning. He's a bit more strict and stern than I am so I guess that's more of what I'm concerned about as well as diapers/potty training. My toddler also still nurses and sometimes she wants it during the day when I'm trying to get her only on night feeds.

2 months ago

@Anna wow, that's great! What all does your husband and daughter do during the day?

2 months ago

Agree with Chapin, try at least one day (more would be best but I don’t know if that’s feasible for you) where you’re not even in the house and see how he does with the kids. Plenty of fathers are great stay at home dads, but it’s not for everyone

2 months ago

My husband has been a stay at home dad for the last 3 years with our daughter. We now have a 2 month old baby and he will continue to be the stay at home parent when I go back to work. It just makes more sense financially for me to work. We are also considering homeschooling. It took a little bit to get a routine, but my daughter is thriving and my husband says it’s the most fulfilling “job” he’s ever had. Our household runs so smoothly and I come home to dinner every day. It’s been awesome for our family. If your husband wants to do it, definitely worth trying!!! There’s so many positives to one parent being home.

2 months ago

Why not do it and see what happens? If it's not working out then do daycare

2 months ago

Could you do a test run for a week or so? Defining what you need him to do might help, like saying you aren’t available from 9-5pm. It’s not unreasonable for you to be wary of this, it would be his full time job technically and you need to be able to work. He should understand that without creating an argument. Otherwise if he protests I’d think maybe he’s trying to put some of the responsibility on you, and that’s not fair at all

2 months ago

If you do it, you have to let him do things his way (of course being mindful that his way is safe). If you try to micromanage it will not work. But I know a few really great stay at home dad's, so it can definitely work!