I need help… i’m losing my mind.

Hi, I have a 21 month old son and his night sleeping is AWFUL! he naps in the day from 12-1pm and then i put him down at night 7pm. he’ll stay asleep from 7pm-8pm and then he’ll wake up and stay awake till 11pm and be only goes back to sleep if i lay with him for 3 hours, but that means i can’t spend time with hubby after he finishes work, i can’t eat dinner or even get ready for bed and it’s EVERY.SINGLE.NIGHT. i’m losing my mind. This has been happening almost EVERY NIGHT for 15 months straight. He co sleeps with us because we never were able to put him to sleep in his cot (he’d cry for as long as we’d go to him even if he’d be crying for 3hrs) PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE do you have any advice or tips or anything. This is effecting my life in every possible way especially my relationship with my hubby as we literally spend no time together anymore Thank you in advance.
Like
Share Mobile
Share
  • Share

Show your support

I would honestly see your GP/sleep consultant. If you have tried everything else then it will be worth the money if it works. I can't imagine how tiring and stressful that must be on your physical and mental health. Maybe ask on here if anyone has used one if you plan on getting one. I hope this helps XO

This might sound obvious but does he have a small night light and white noise to help him stay asleep? You can get those white noise bears that have a sensor so that if he starts crying it'll turn back on. Also he might be hungry? Sometimes when my LO doesn't have a filling dinner he wakes up randomly in the middle of night because he wants a snack.

Why don’t you try putting him to bed later so he’s tired, and then try gradually moving the bed time back?

@Yannina Hi thank you for your reply. I’ve used a white noise machine in the past but it didn’t work. But now that he’s older it might be worth another shot? Also he’s teething atm so it’s really hard to get him to eat anything🥲

@Bek Yesterday I put him to bed at 8pm instead of 7pm and he still woke up after an hour. Should I put him to bed even later than 8?

@Yannina Also I should add, he still drinks 9oz of milk after his dinner and before sleep. So i don’t think he could wake up hungry?

Is he lactose intolerant? It might make him gassy. My little one used to sometimes get gassy and it would interrupt his sleep .also my little one sleeps 1 and a half hours (sometimes longer)... I've found that if he doesn't have a good long nap during the day he's extra fussy and doesn't sleep well in the night. I feel so bad. It's terrible when they don't sleep. It really puts pressure on your sanity and on a marriage.

It might seem counter productive but you can try giving him longer to nap during the day so he doesn't over exert himself. It's possible that he's sort of sleep trained you? Hahah my one did that to me too. Basically he knew that if he got up and cried I would go cuddle and sleep with him. So he in fact sort of trained me. I've sorted it out now but it was exhausting when he slept with us. He used to kick me in the face literally every night and take up most of the bed.

My daughter would do this if she only had an hour nap. I would experiment with two things here - longer nap and also later bedtime. I'd go for an 8.30pm bedtime with winding down from 7.45. try it for two nights and see.

@Yannina My LO doesn’t seem gassy, or anything and he’s not lactose intolerant as far as i know. When he wakes at night it doesn’t seem like there’s anything bothering him other than the fact that i’m not there 🥲 Thank you.. I know, i’m really hoping I can sort it soon!

@Yannina I’ll try the longer nap, but often he wakes himself up after an hour and gets up straight away to play!😅 Omd haha! Yes i definitely feel like he has sleep trained me!! Yes it’s so exhausting, how did you sort it? Does your LO sleep on his own now? Thank you so so much for all your responses i appreciate them so much! I’m going to make a list of things that I want to tweak to help him sleep better. X

@Ayşe He only has an hour nap in the day because he often wakes himself up. Thank you so much for your advice, I will definitely trial that! X

I feel your pain. My soon is a nightmare every single night of his life, he sleeps 10x worse than a new born. He’s never slept for more than two hours. Every night he wakes up after 45 minutes, 1 hour. Sometimes 90 mins if I’m lucky. It’s a fucking nightmare every night of my life. We’ve tried everything including sleep training. I hate it. I’m tired all the time and nobody believes me when is say he’s awake every 45 mins. I went to the doctors to see maybe he had a problem but they didn’t seem Worried and told me to talk to the health visitor who also suggested things we’d tried. He’s currently been awake crying for an hour and 15 mins. All he wants is me: Every night from about midnight I just get into bed with him as it’s the only thing to calm him Down: & I also need sleep. I don’t know how to break this.. I get very little sleep as it is

He sounds like he still needs 2 naps in the day. Try to put him down again in the afternoon but make sure he's awake long enough after that for his bedtime not to change. Goodluck x

Sounds like your his sleep association but as you say you've tried getting him in his own room. Could you try sleep with him in his room so at least he's in the right place then gradually remove yourself. I didn't want to do controlled crying but was struggling with co sleeping so did the chair method (ferber?) Best thing ever. Little girl got a much better sleep on her own once established (took 10 days ish) I will not bring her back into our room now as I'm too scared she'll like it! I know it's not easy hope you find a solution x

Read more on Peanut
Trending in our community