I hate my sister-in-laws!!!!

I’ll try to keep this brief. My husband comes from a large family. My MIL passed away recently and I’m struggling with something she asked of me. My husband and I have a complicated history with 2 of his sisters. We have distanced ourselves from them over recent years because…well…they both suck (ie: constant users/takers, self centred, etc) Anyways, they have not made things easy during the last few weeks of my MIL’s life and my husband and I are completely done with both of these 2 sisters. We do not want them in our lives. I should add that I have a history with one sister in particular. We were friends once upon a time and she even encouraged us to date/get married. I won’t explain why we aren’t friends because I could go on and on. No big blowup or anything, like I said, she just sucks. Now the issue, while my MIL was on her deathbed she asked me to mend things with her daughter and bring her back in because “she doesn’t have anyone”. The request was to both me and my husband but it felt directed towards me. Afterwards, my husband assured me that he has spoken extensively with his mom (in the past) about WHY we no longer talk to the two sisters. But it still doesn’t change the fact that she had this last dying request of me. My question, I’m feeling incredibly guilty about my inability to honour my MIL’s wishes. I told my husband that I will never get over some of the stuff done to me and our daughter (ie: being left out of the obituary…not just me, all the spouses but it was definitely intentional by the 2 single Bitter Betty’s who wrote it) and he is in full agreement. What should I do? Find a way to honour my MIL’s wishes or just move on and try to forget about it? I really loved my MIL and I want to honour her. I just can’t…at least not right now. Any advice?

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Sounds tricky but I feel like dying ppl are wise 🙈 so I deffo wouldn’t just forget about it but maybe give yourself some time first for your anger to settle and then maybe try with small steps go for a coffee tell them taktvollerer upset you and even tell them about the last wish so it’s not just your responsibly but also theirs 🤷‍♀️ x

Firstly I just want to say I’m so sorry for your loss and that this is a source of stress for you when you are also grieving. Just my two cents but it is always okay to make your own choices on this matter and put your and your husbands mental health and boundaries first. I know some people will argue family is always family etc but I feel that people don’t get a lifetime free pass into your life just because they are related. I recently lost my own dad with my mum having passed 8 years ago and am estranged from my sister, I am sure there are many in our family who would have expected me or us to make contact again at that point but to me far too much has happened and history has repeated far to many times. It took my daughter coming along for me to realise how important it is to protect my own mental health ( and by extension my daughter and husband’s) by keeping my distance.

Cont. It might sound dramatic and you might not feel like this reflects your feelings at all, but for me I wasn’t prepared to let the toxic environment my sister had caused in my family (from when I was young and continuing into adulthood) to seep into my own family and impact my husband and children.

My MIL asked the same thing to forgive my SIL, I refused. when people show their true colors believe them especially after the same thing is done over and over again. I have no space in my heart to get over the hurt and misery she has caused me. It is what it is. It’s important to set boundaries and protect your mental health, takers will always take, it’s your job not to let them

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